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Was online addict, clean for 6 months, relaps
Well, here is what happened to me:
I started playing the online game "Runescape" 2 years ago, and at first it was a nice pastime, but over time it got to be an addiction. I realized this after about 1 year. I then stopped, because i got, what people call scammed, and also i felt like i shouldn't continue. 1 Month later, I thought I had my addiction under control and started playing again. I realized at the first second that i was wrong, but as stupid as i was, i thought (actually more like hoped) it would pass, and that i would be bored of the game and could quit then. Half a year later, I realized that if i didn't do anything, i could forget my school and my future (not to mention my relationships with my family and friends). Well, i stopped, all at once (from 6 or more hours a day to 0), and the first 3 days it was easy. Then, i suffered terible withdrawal symptoms, but I held strong, and didn't relapse. But, eventually we moved back to my mother country, Germany. I lived in the US for 3 years, and had to catch up on all that stuff. At that time, the symptoms were worse than ever, so bad that i felt like i should throw myself off a bridge (actually was on the way to one, but then changed my mind). My mom tried everything, and we wanted to get a proffesional's help. But then, on one day, it grew so bad, and the school stress and stress with my brother took me so heavy, that i landed in a deep depression, and started playing again. the last will to fight the addiction was gone. My mood suddenly improved, and the depression seemed to pass, but I am realising that i'm still in it. I told my mom the reason for that I'm feeling better is that i came over the addiction (very very very bad mistake), and that she wouldn't need to get proffesional help. She said she is very proud of me, and that she knew from the start that I had the strength to make it. This just makes me feel much worse, and I spent hours just crying, not knowing what to do (this situation is made worse by the fact that I am 14, and am at a stadium were I can ruin my entire future). I can't tell her, for I made a contract when I quit the last time, that if I would ever start again, she would get my laptop, my pc, and take away some other stuff ,too (I made this contract as a motivation to myself so stop) (I paid my laptop and Pc from my own money, and I don't want to lose them). I only play when no one is in the house, just to be safe, but I can barely hold this control.
Please, I need help. Has anyone experienced a similar problem, maybe even the same, or knows what to do against it?
Thanks a lot,
A depressed RS addict
Answer:
Was online addict, clean for 6 months, relaps
Maybe professional help is what is needed, esp. with the depression. There is plenty of help out there and even group therapies. See a professional and involve yourself in life's activities, out of the house, friends, other hobbies, school projects , extra work anything that keeps you involved.
Purple98Lady
Answer:
Was online addict, clean for 6 months, relaps
Is there a way to get that help without involving my parents?
Thanks for the answer, looking for more