Im a reasonably intelligent person with good perception, yet whenever I interact with anyone and there is a disagreement, however mild they always insist they are right. My mother, who has just moved in with me is hyper critical of me, my home, everything about me, but when I tell her she is hurtful she says Im taking it too personally, excuse ME, werent you putting ME down? My friends son and mine are friends too, and Im constantly hearing tales about my son, yet if I say something I have heard about hers, she just cuts me off and tells me Im wrong. Im always careful to give my opinion as just that, not an accepted fact, so it annoys me when someone states something as if it is gospel, and when I disagree I just get shot down. I am starting to not talk much to people, I feel whats the point when apparently Im just an idiot.
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It is because you let them treat you this way. They are use to getting away with it. You are more than likely a passive person who enjoys harmony over conflict, so you have let people have their way in the past and they are use to it. Remember we can not change people, but we can change how they react to us by changing our actions.
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I think Brigit Fonda said it best in point of no return "i never did mind the little things" dont put to much emphasis on being right or winning. Maybe you should not sweat the little things so much, look at it more like a discussion among friends and treat the other person as if you care about there opinion (skewed or not) agree to disagree if you must, but don't treat it as if its a test of your honor or intelligence Smile look at them and say, i never did mind the little things... you may Not win the argument but they'll remember those words and that smile forever or maybe not
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dont let them treat you like that.....they dont have a right unless u let them....dont let them put u down...
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No,I dont always get it right, sometimes I do, sometimes I dont, just like everyone else. Its just I want other people to acknowledge that I am right, just once.... so I know what it feels like.
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Sherryn, respect is sometimes something you have to demand. Tell me a little more about your relastionships with these people who always make your feel this way.
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Maximina, Im always wrong because in the eyes of society I have no value. I am 45 years old and single. I just have a regular job, not a huge career. Im just nothing. If I was married I would get more respect I think.... married women can prove they have value by the fact of someone having thought enough of them to make that comittment. My mother had a glass of my wine, no comment on it, but she drank the same wine at my sister in laws house and raved about how good it was. Cashiers look past me and wait on the person standing behind me, I dont go to the doctor unless its an emergency, whats the point, they dont listen anyway. I speak and other people speak over the top of me, if I disagree I may as well shut up and go home..... because Im always wrong.
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Now you know thats not true, your not an idiot. But unfortunately prople dont like to be wrong and you could come across as reserved or uptight or the most obvious and probable is that they are jealous of the life you lead. Nobody is ever fully happy wit there own lives they alays want more. My advice is know your true self but dont push it on others, you need to find out who needs you to listen and who will listen to you. Its very hard to find a listener so its good to be one, then maybe they'll soon listen back, but you should also have friends on the same wavelenght as yourself. Its hard work finding a friend but once you have they are friends for life.
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Honey, your problem is not that others don't value you, it is that you don't value yourself. If you think you are invisible you will be. I'm 33, yes a little younger, but I am very single, but no guy determines my worth. Your wrong because you think you are always wrong. You are exactly who you think you are, so if you want to be different you need to start with believing you are. You are amazing and worthy of all life has to offer, but I don't determine your worth you do! Belief is one of the most powerful forces in he universe.
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Nobody is always wrong and nobody is always right. I have a friend that is like you, she is such a kind hearted person that always takes the blame herself. I agree with Maximina, you have to acknowledge yourself and realize that your not always wrong, that you have value and so does your thoughts and opinions.
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I read the above comments, and I agree with them. You worry too much. When people are critical, tell them so and shut them up. There are "decent" ways of doing that, too. One thing that often works when people are criticizing, is to interrupt them and say: "I love you too!" Or if you get really pissed off, just rise and leave the room in the middle of their talking, like going into the kitchen for something. That is normally very abusive, but if they comment upon it, answer: "Then say something more clever or appreciating, and I'll stay and listen to you".
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Very good suggestions molotok!
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Yes, I might do what molotok said..... that would really piss them off.