and post/109503-im-in-lov... ?????
cos been thinking bout it a lot. thanks. florence x
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The replies seem to be appropriate, well-thought, logical and helpfull. What exactly are you trying to find out in this post? Do you want to focus on the subject of a fantasy man/woman some more, do you want feedback on how you reply or do you have another purpose altogether? Do you still agree with these replies, or has thinking about it made you change your mind?
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prob focus on the subject abit more. i think the replies are what i believe in, not all wud agree and write their negative views. but id focus on the ones which wud make sense to me. thanks for reading them. but i would like to find more answers. i still feel im trying to get over this person from yrs ago, im aLOT BETTER than i used to be. bit wud like to carry on sorting and thinking through the subject.
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Ok. Just tell us what you want to talk about or what thoughts you have. By the way, I agree with what you said in those posts. In highschool I had a 'crush' on a boy for three or four years. I had a whole fantasy life put in place with him and I as lead characters in a continuing story. But I knew all the time that it wasn't the real boy - he was mean to me at times. So at some point I decided I was through wasting my time waiting at the school court to accidentally cycle behind him - if I was going to have a fantasy lover, it might as well be someone who I never really met anymore. So I shifted my crush onto someone I only met for a few days. I think that if I hadn't done that, and hadn't made a clear distinction in my head between the fantasy and the real world, I would never have been able to fall in love properly with any real man. I do still fantasise though - still have continuing storylines in my head on which I fall back when I cannot sleep or am bored. I just make sure they have no touch at all with reality. What I mean to say by this is that the way you talk about this person sounds very familiar to me, although I have been able to move on more easily. And as for being 'a lot better' now, I guess the most important thing is that you can control things better now and have grown into more perception of what is real and what is not. The two deciding things that brought you into the situation in the first place, (as seen by me of course, ignore me if I'm way off) are a great imagination and a great ability to love and be loyal for a long time. They worked out bad this time, but they are both great qualities in general! The big question would be: are you still not over this person in particular, or are you still not over the whole experience/process?
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I think I can relate a lot with them :-)
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i don;t think im totally over the sitaution. also i fear bumping into him because 2 years back, before i ended up in mental hospital, i thought he was going to commit suicide because of my condition. i asked my mum to ring his mum or dad or something. i then spoke to this guy over the net and he said that his mum was screaming in the middle of the night and i said strange stuff to him that scared him and got him angry. then, i went searching for him because i was scared id be punished by god if i didn;t go up to him and apoligize. 2 months later my friend explained to him what happened and he was willing to forgive. he forgave me ages ago. hes totally over the situation, but me, im too embarrsed to face him in the street if i did. plus the fantasizing over the years as been rather extreme. the last time i spoke to him was 3 yrs back. i went intoi a shop he worked in and i saw him but he didn;t c me. while i was there i was really scared and felt threatened. i walked out as soon as i cud.
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That was actually one of the other things that stopped me looking for the unattainable...I dated a man who did to me what I did to others...I got to see what I looked like from the other side. It scared me.
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really? wud prob be useful if i had that, im sure id be shocked but id learn a lesson from it. what was it like?
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i went intoi a shop he worked in and i saw him but he didn;t c me. while i was there i was really scared and felt threatened. i walked out as soon as i cud. -that was like a few months ago.
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It was icky...I understood why the men went away.