The world is so much more beautiful while I’m lying down listening to music or dancing alone in my appartment without a care. It makes me forget that I have nothing, no one, not a bit of what I long for. Everything suddenly seems to make sense, everything lights up, I feel alive, hopeful, connected to something, a world I guess I can call my own. Everyone I love and have lost is there with me along with the people I have yet to meet, all together in this perfect setting. It’s an illusion. But wathever the emotion the music brings, I feel like I’m living it to the full. For a while it feels so good, but once the song is over and I look around me, there’s still no one around and coming down, I feel like my life is just a little more pathetic each time. I want to make this reality so badly, I want a life, but how? Where do I begin? I don’t know, I’m stuck.
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Well, by keeping what you want clearly in your mind at all times is a start. Never doubting that you will get what you want, no matter what the world throws at you. Believing with that same passion you feel when the music is playing, that everything will come to you exactly when you are ready to get it. That should bring the things you want to you. And those things may find you when you least expect it.
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I know, but things don't happen just like that. Just believing leads nowhere without actions and I know that. If I believe I'll be a great violin player for example, it won't happen if I don't practice no matter how strongly I believe in it. And that's my problem, I don't where to begin to make something happen in my life. I don't know how to take action so that eventually it leads me where I want. So waiting and believing is not an option. I've been doing exactly that for too long. Now I need a kick start.
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Well of course they don't happen just like that...the action was implied and I guess you're right, that wasn't really a kick start. Because what you're describing is too vague to advise on an actual action. If you want new people in your life...step out your front door and go talk to people. Do anything different today that isn't a part of your routine and see what happens. It may lead you to your next logical step. And define reality...if you want to be a great violin player and in your thoughts you're brilliant and can hear the music...whose to say that isn't real?
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Reality is making dreams concrete. I don't know, stop thinking too much about stuff and do something to make it real instead. Live in the real world, not just in my imagination. I kept it vague because I wasn't really looking for a precise plan of actions. I'm just looking for advices, tips on how to take action. I don't need someone to tell me what to do, but how to find the strenght to do it. I know I need to step out of my house and talk to people if I want a social life, but I don't know HOW to do it. Knowing I need to do it doesn't necessarily make me able to do it. I want to know how to push myself out of the hosue for instance. The violin player thing was just an example. How do you do something that terrifies you? Where do you find the courage? It's not so much about something specific, just generally, how do other people deal with taking control over their lives?
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I know, I'm sorry that I'm not helping you at all. My tone is probably so hard to read...but it's with pure lightheartedness. You just do it. That is the only way. You have to take a risk. You maybe think about what's the worst possible thing that could happen if you did something that scares you and realize, hey, I can live with that. Say it was someone you wanted to ask out, for example....what's the worst that could happen by you asking them out?...they'd say no, or even worse, they'd somehow embarass or laugh...then what? You'd survive.
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well , u want a life right ? ok it is so easy , just go get it for example wana play violin , go apply for some course , once u start progressing and feel u r becoming good ur look to urself and ur life will completely change and u will then feel that u r finally doing something it is quite the same for every other thing , for example if u dont know what u want to do in a long term or u cant picture ur life lets say 10 years from now , just relax and think about the happiest time u had and the happiest moments that u spent and still remember ,and go for doing whatever u did that time and made u happy , like if u were happy when in a safari trip , go for it , make another one , if u like it too much why not thinking of making it ur career what i mean is , the best way to feel in control of our life is to know what we want to be , put strategies and plans for that and then follow them. good luck
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To make progress you have to be proactive. Sounds to me as if you have the 'feeling' and therefore the 'drive' you just haven't put your desire into action yet. If you want to connect with all those who you are yet to meet; those that will enrich your life and whose lives you will enrich then you have to get out there and put yourself into situations that will ensure that you meet them - there is no other way... fantasy can become reality but only with your committment to making it happen.
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hmmm.. lets see firstly i understand how u feel in your own world... i have one myself too.. its where i can escape from all things and be in total control. it MY world . everything turns de way i wan it to be... but that to me is a place for me to rest , we cant stay there forever.... and if u wan a life, u must accept and understand the fact life comes with goods and bads , u cant be in fully control...but thes the beauty of life. wats the point of living a life following the script? just go out get yourself involved in places , people blah blah blah as long as wat u wanna do.. and when u are tired out go back to your world and rest a while and get back out there again!!
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and in detaily if u have time sitting infront of the com typing this, i believe u can surf the net for info on how or where u can find the things u are interested in doing so gogogogogogogogogogogo
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Sometimes we kind of get stuck in a comfortable routine, a predictible one where everything is almost exactly the way we want it. That's nice but if you want really want to live your life and not just imagine it, you have to get yourself into more concrete situations. Of course, you probably won't have total control on what happens but that is the beauty of it. That is where the surprises come and things happen to you that you never thought possible. And you learn to see life in a different perspective as new experiences happen to you. Just keep the perfect life that you're imagining in your mind and then, get out there and do something concrete to try and make it happen. You need both: imagination and action. Trust me. You will be pleasantly surprised at the outcome... maybe not at every attempt that you make but eventually, for sure. I know, at first, you may not feel comfortable putting your thoughts into action but the more you do it, the more you get the hang of it. And you will really get to like doing it as you start realizing all that it can bring into your life. There you go, my friend. I can tell you all that... because I have been there. Go ahead. You can do it!
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Thanks everyone. I'll try harder. I know that it won't be perfect in real life like I imagine it, I accept that. It may just turn out better than I imagined right? I guess it's just the initial steps that are scary. I get so anxious about socializing. I think most people I talk to don't realise this. I have really bad social phobia and suffer from agoraphobia a little, well less than I used to anyway. So illogically, I get in a state of panic around people. I guess it'll become easier with practice, but you know, it's hard at the moment. I'm so good at imagining the worse case scenarios, but you're right "Complicated", those probably rarely happen, and how bad can it really turn out? I'll try to remember that. So I got this gym membership for a start. Hopefully it'll help.. exercising AND being out of the house around other people who scare me. lol This sounds so pathetic to anyone else probably. After that if I feel better, I guess I could find a small job, and then maybe a night course. Let's see where it goes.
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Take your time, small steps if you have to. But keep pushing forward. Believe me, things will only get easier... and better. :)
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well do it! Go out into the world and make your dreams come true. Meet new people and start reaching for your goals by first writing down ideas of what you want out of your life.
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Right, so I went out yesterday to see this band. The signer is a guy I used to work with, and I really didn't feel like going cause I was gonna lock myself in like usual instead, but I forced myself to go cause he invited me.. but it turned out so wrong like usual. I was just standing there not able to engage in any conversations with anyone other than meaningless short sentences.. just so uncomfortable and not able to understand how all those people are having so much fun. I love the music, I love the atmosphere, I'd love to do everything those people are doing, but I can't do it, I feel so disconected. I feel like an alien. Wow, this sucks, it's like a part of me really love these social events and crave it, but the other scared part of me is not letting me enjoy it when it's there.
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ok in this case i think the best solution now is just to act spontanously , for example u went to see the band and the singer is a person u used to know , ok just stop there and ask him if u can join them and play or even in the rehersal (not sure if i spelled that right) anyway u have energy that u keep locked inside , just let it go , let it blow by being spontanous , play music with them like u never did in ur life , go and glow with music , by doing that u will let that energy out and u will be able to socialize good luck
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Gee... I used to be that way... a looooong time ago. It felt so awkward around people. I know exactly what you mean when you use the word "alien". It took a lot of practice. I remember going to the library and getting a book to help me learn how to socialize and I learned a few tricks to use in conversations with others : ask questions, concentrate on subjects that interests the other person, etc... When I think about it now, it's like me but in a previous life! Today, I am the actual opposite of what I used to be. I am the most open and sociable person around. I will engage in conversation with just anyone that passes my way. I know just how to make people open up to me. I realize now that most people feel the way I used to around others but to different extents and they just try not to let it show. A lot of them have trouble opening up and having fun without having had a few beers first! All I really want to say to you is, it just takes practice. Take it one step at a time. It'll just get easier. And don't be too hard on yourself! Good luck, my friend. :)
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Well, I can't join their band.. but I guess joining A band could be an option. Maybe if I keep going to their gigs, I may end up meeting people from another band who needs a member. I do feel like I'm keeping a lot locked inside for no reason. It's like I always think a little too long about something before doing it. I don't really know how to not do that though. Marylou, thanks for the encouragment. I guess you're right, most people must feel that way at some extent, but while being trapped in my bubble I don't see these things. I'll try to remind myself. I hope I can put this in a previous life too sometime, cause for now I feel like this state of social anxiety has made me waste so many years. :( If you did it though, then why can't I, right? I lost so many people that way.. in particular a guy that means so much to me, but I'm not able to tell him. Now it's kind of too late but he's stuck on my mind. I regret not telling him, I regret a lot of things I haven't done and it doesn't help. It paralyses me while I'm trying to reinvent myself. Oh well, one step at a time.. I guess the first step is not being too hard on myself. Now that I think about it, I always try to push these feelings away. Yeah so I miss this guy and feel pathetic around people, but maybe that's the way I feel and I'm allowed to feel that way? I'm allowed to miss this guy wether he misses me too or not? Wow, I never really saw it that way until now for some strange reasons.
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Pushing your feelings away would not be helping you, for sure. You have to recognize and accept the way you feel in order to progress. Otherwise, you're not going anywhere. I don't know how old you are but let me tell you, there are a lot of things I wish I would have done when I was a little younger. My life would definitely be different today. But it's never to late to change the things you want to change in your life and start enjoying it even more. Don't waste too much time on regrets, though. Let us know how things turn out. We'll be here if you need any advice or encouragement. :)
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Yeah I know what you mean. One of my biggest fear is to suddenly wake when I'm older and realised I wasted all my life. I'm 24.. and already I feel like I've ruined it.. I feel old.. which I know is probably wrong. I'm still young... but I don't want the years to keep passing until I realise I'm 50. I want to live while I'm young, I wasted too much time already. I want to enjoy my life. I get SO anxious about this. Well thanks for listening and responding. Sometimes, that's all people need. :)
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Hey! I have to tell you... When I was 24, I felt exactly like you do now, like it was already too late and I had wasted my time not doing what I should have. Well... you know what I'm saying. Silly me! Everything is still possible at that age. Don't compare yourself to others your age. (That is if you are doing that!) Just put your thoughts into action and live it 100%. At 24, you have all this energy. You just have to know how to focus on something you really want. Once you do that, things can happen really fast, your life can change in ways that you didn't think possible. Go ahead, do what you want to do and forget about the past! I'm kind of curious though about what instrument you play, if any, and what kind of music you're into. I'm sure there's something really unique inside of you that just wants to come out and express itself to the world. And I'm also sure that a lot of people would benefit from it. Well, dear "Anonymous", I'll catch you later... maybe. :)
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I know, I guess the fact that I know I have to act now makes me even more anxious and therefore waste even more time procrastinating. I do compare myself to people my age maybe a bit too much. They're all in university or even finished with it and I skipped it altogether. I have to stop doing that. I really want my life to change, I'm ready to do anything, if only I knew where to start.. Well, I play guitar, bass, piano/keyboard, I sing (not as well as I wish though) and play violin a little. Well, I'm also a producer.. I have a mini recording studio in my appartment. It's hard to describe what style I do.. I'm working on a more rock project these days, but I have a couple of songs online on myspace from a more ambiant/post rock project. I guess it's easier to give you a link then to try to describe it hehe It's nothing serious, especially not the band name but I was just looking for some feedback. :) www.myspace.com/queenplasticine
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Hey! My computer is an old piece of junk. Unfortunately, I can only hear your music if I download it first. Can you help me with that. I'm not sure exactly how to do it...
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What the hell... You're from Quebec! Happy to hear it. In my wildest dreams, I live in a old castle somewhere in England. I am surely going to visit England sometime in the future. How do you like it there?
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hehe yup I'm from Quebec! So do you speak french as your first language? That's just funny if we've been speaking english while both being french speaking lol Well, the UK's great if you forget about the weather! It's not as bad as they say, but it does rain a bit too much. but I love London and the people here. I just wish I took advantage of the chance I have to live here a little bit more. You should really come visit sometime, it's worth it. I guess at this point I got use to it and I miss my family, poutine (lol) and even snow sometimes. hehe It can get pretty lonely so if I don't sound too enthusiastic that's probably why, but really it's great. I really love Europe. :) For the song, I guess I could send it through email or on msn or maybe put a download link on my MySpace page or something?
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Well what do you know! Faudrait pas qu'on commence à jaser en français ici. Certains n'apprécieraient sûrement pas... I think you're pretty lucky to be up there. Take advantage of it as much as you can. Well, since you've added me as a friend on MySpace, now you know how "freeking" old I am! Don't let that bother you. I feel and look at least 10 years younger than that and really... I'm not exagerating. Still alive and kicking and very happy to be. If my E-mail is available on MySpace, go ahead and send the song to me. They don't allow us to write our E-mails on "here". Otherwise, I guess I'll only be able to hear it if you decide to put a download link next to it. Will you be, by any chance attending the Led Zeppelin reunion? God I wish I could be there. Well, I have to go work now. I'll catch you later. Take it easy. :)
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yeah that's what I thought. better stick to english. Well you're not that old. My mum is just 2 years older than you and it's the same with her. Also, I swear a lot of the time she acts so young she could be my best friend. haha So it's all good. It doesn't bother me at all. :) It's just me that has to stop feeling old at 24! Oh my god, the Led Zeppelin reunion!! I wish I could go so bad, but it's impossible to get tickets! I can't believe they're only gonna play one show. There's so many people who want tickets they had to put up this website where you register and if you're lucky enough you'll be picked and have a chance to buy tickets. The thing is millions of people registered, but there's only 20000 tickets for sale. So, it looks like I'll be missing it. :(
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At the end of the month, CHOM (the radio station) will be giving away a pair of tickets to one lucky winner and paying for the trip and all other expenses. I will be of course, participating as much as I can and keeping my fingers crossed! Well, not while I'm dialing!! I sent the link to your page on MySpace, to a friend of mine that lives in Trois-Rivières and who seems to have exactly the same taste in music as you. He says he'll be giving me a "full report"! That's just him trying to be funny. Oh! and you say you feel old at 24? You're right, age doesn't matter. You're just feeling that way right now. A few years from now, it could be quite the opposite. Some people look and feel younger after 40 then they ever did before. Life is amazing. That's why I'm telling you, you have a lot of good years ahead of you and it's never too late to start doing the things you really want to do. You're creativity is probably at its best right now. So do take advantage of it. Time flies and I have to go... I have some painting to do upstairs. My boyfriend and I are renovating this old country house and God, the work is never done! Take care, my friend. :)
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Wow, that's amazing. Good luck! :) A friend from Trois-Rivieres?? That's funny, I come from somewhere around there. Just a random thought. Well, that's cool, I'll be awaiting the full critic. That's what I like. :) Yes, that's true. My mum is a sober alchoolic and she only stopped drinking 2 years ago.. and ever since, she looks so young and feels so young. She's catching up with all the wasted years and I keep thinking if she's doing it at near 50 (and after a messed up life), then it should be easier than I think at 24, no? I think one of the reason why I'm stuck is because what feels right is to pursue a career in art, but I keep thinking "what if it leads me nowhere?" as it's such an unpredictable domain.. but it's not like doing nothing instead leads much further. lol I always follow the same cycle of thoughts. Once I've passed that step and think "Okay, let's do it then. If it all goes wrong, at least I'll meet people and make friends", then I come across another problem. I'm not too sure what I want to study in art exactly.. Fine Art? Music Engeneering? Songwritting? Graphic Design? Film making? Photography? I don't know what to choose and push it at the back of my mind until I successfully forget about it and restart feeling anxious about not having a career or at least futur plans in front of me.. and eventually I come back to the first question, "Is it really a good idea?". And so on.
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It is incredible how much you remind me of myself. So here is my advice. If you don't go for what you are truly passionate about, that is when you will be wasting your time. You'll eventually wake up around 50 thinking: "I should have done this or that..." Listen to your feelings and go for your passion. Don't worry about the rest and don't think too much. If you concentrate on what truly inspires you, you WILL end up in the right place. And you don't even have to know where that is right now! Can't wait to see what my friend has to say about your music. I'm originally from Montreal but living in St-Justin at the moment, somewhere around Louiseville. Maybe you know the place? Got to go, dear. Catch you later, maybe. Take care.