Ask:
MaryGrace is 2 1/2. She has been in a toddler bed for months now. Well, she had decided last week (or maybe just found out last week!) that she can get OUT!! She is waking me up all night..crying and fussing..and I am EXHAUSTED. She is also fighting me at bedtime...and tonight, she simply got up and said she was NOT going!!! Well, I ended up swatting her bottom (notice I said SWAT, not SPANK...so please no one get a debate going on that one!) and I put her back in it! She screamed for a full thirty minutes. I have been sitting down here gritting my teeth. Dh is out of town...again....and amazingly enough, the other kids all went on to sleep with her screaming (including Abby, who shares a room with her!). I just wondered if anyone has any suggestions. I have coddled her over this for two weeks..and enough is enough. She is not sick, she is not cold, she is not hot, she is not ANYTHING except for stubborn!! She is also a GRUMP so much right now, and it has to be from lack of sleep at night. Any suggestions from anyone???
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Personally, I would ride it out with her. She may be going through a fearful time and having separation anxiety. With ds, I would read to him, then cuddle him until he went to sleep. The agreement was that I would do it until he was asleep and then I'd leave. I was worried he would fight sleep, but with his little head on my shoulder after a couple of good books, he couldn't stay awake.
As he got older, I told him I needed to leave to get things done. It started at, I think 45 mins, then worked it's way down. The secure feeling of mommy being there put him to sleep. If he got up for anything other than the bathroom, he knew he would lose his favorite toy for the next day. However, before putting the punishment on the table, we used bribery at first - stay in your own bed tonight and you can have this toy you've been wanting. He's spoiled, but not a brat. There's a difference. I couldn't let my kids cry that long - you are much stronger than me. However, with dd, I do let her go on for about 10 mins. I must be hardening in my old age. I know I would have gone in, held her and tried to find out what is wrong. Does she need monster spray, or maybe a piece of mommy with her? Like a shirt that you wear a lot that smells like you/your perfume. Is she afraid of the dark and being alone? Does she need extra sealing kisses for the night? Maybe have an agreement that after five more kisses and three more hugs (helps with learning to count), you HAVE to go. If she stays in bed, she can get this privilege or toy. However, I've always told ds that if he has a bad dream and gets frightened, it's OK to come in. He did a few times, but got over it when we didn't make it a big deal. It was too much hassle for him to get out of bed, as we didn't, after he got older, let him stay in our bed, we took him back to his and stayed with him until he went back to sleep.
I'm not saying I'm right or wrong; just what worked for us. He is now six and fiercely independent. Pretty good for a kid who was attached to me constantly as a baby, toddler and preschooler!
By the way, I love the romantic bracelet your dh got you in your other post. I so wish my dh would come up with ideas on his own. Betcha my 24th anniversary gift will be a small box of Godiva chocolates. You CAN be romantic with little money, though! I just hate being the one planting the ideas. I want him to be original.
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I have two older children, 14 and 11, and they were both different, with my son, the oldest, I would tell him that if he came into my bedroom he had to sleep on the floor with his pillow and blanket (we had carpet). I know this sounds mean, but he knew he had a nice comfortable bed in the other room and it worked, he was only on the floor a few nights. I tried this with my daughter and it didn't work....she would always say she was scared in her bed....I would just reassure her that she had slept in her bed before and everything turned out fine, I would have to stay with her a liitle while, but not long. Desertmom has a good idea about staying a certain amount of time and then weaning it down until you don't have to stay in there at all. Good luck. Please don't think I am mean for having my son sleep on the floor....it sounds worse than it is. Now I have a 6 month old and I am getting soft in my old age..I don't know what I will do with her if she gets out of bed (once she is in a bed).... Oh, I just thought of something, could you put a radio or something in her room....maybe some noise would help her go to sleep...or a musical toy or something?? that might work.
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She LIKES the floor...and she just isn't old enough/mature enough to get bribery yet! We are just hitting the reverse psychology thing. "Don't you go potty. No, I'm going potty"...and she runs to the potty! She DID stay in her bed all night, though, so I got about 6 1/2 hours straight sleep, and she is STILL asleep!!
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Ya know we have some problems with my 3 1/2 year old. He likes to come to bed with Mom. Luckly, he is back in his bed. We are actually gonna buy him a full size bed this week with new Thomas quilt and sheets. He is very excited. For some reason, just talking about it got him back in his bed. Anyway, does she have a nightlight or a speciel blanket or animal. Maybe that would help if she does not yet. Praying this will pass soon.....Good Luck...
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She slept all night, every night, no problem until September. It was the end of September that, on her own, she gave up her paci. It hasn't been every night since then, but it is definitely getting worse..crying to go to bed and then SCREAMING during the night. Even when she does get in our bed or lays on the floor, she tosses and turns, fussing in her sleep. I actually tried giving BACK the paci. Her response, "That's NASTY!"!!! I asked her what it was, and she did tell me it was her paci..but still, it was nasty!! So, there goes that idea. She takes a cup of water to bed each night, too, so it isn't that she is thirsty. I thought maybe it was needing to go potty, since she IS daytime trained. Nope. She either won't sit on it, or it makes no difference.
I hated letting her cry last night...and I went up and loved on her once she was asleep. She ended up sleeping 9:45pm until 7:25am, so that was great. Now, I just have to see if I can get her to do it again tonight!!!
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Kids usually love sleeping on the floor. It's not mean! If that's all you let them do, that would be a different story. I can't do it here because we have scorpions . Blessed, has something happened that's gotten to her recently? A change? Do you think guardrails would help? White noise is a great idea. The other thing I was thinking was maybe growing pains? Maybe a call to your ped is in order. We also gave ds a little flashlight that he could turn on when he needed to - the kind where it turns on when you open its mouth. Maybe a new lovey? Trying!
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She is about as stubborn as a mule!! I don't know of any changes except the paci being gone. I am wondering if that is what kept her asleep before..sucking IN her sleep. Now, though, I can't force her to take it back! I've offered her a ton of things to see if bribery worked, and she will THROW them! The snot!! I'm going to be a meanie tonight, too, I guess...and see if it works the same. Maybe "tough love" will get it out of her system. I just felt so bad doing it. Dh is out of town tonight, too, so it is a good time to do it.
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Don't have any words of wisdom, just sympathy since I've been up since 3 with my 20 month old who refuses to go back to bed. So I'm hanging out on the computer while he plays behind me and hoping he gets tired. I've tried everything besides letting him cry, which he'll just get out of bed and come find me or go and play with his brother's toys anyway. I almost had him asleep earlier, we cuddled and I gave him some water and then the stupid dog woke him up when I went back to my bed. Now he's wide awake and ready to go .
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I think they're all conspiring. DD is trying to walk and she's waking up to play in the middle of the night, too. I'm up working around the house. She cosleeps right now, and I've ended up just going to bed to get her to sleep.