Ask:
Hi,
Just in the last 2 days my 12 month-old has begun to throw try=uly awful tantrums when he doesn't get his own way. Legs kicking, screaming, throwing things etc... the full works !
He was a totally angelic baby and my DD has never thrown a tantrum (honestly !) so I don't know what to do.
It's also affecting his sleeping pattern... last night he woke at 1:20am and didn't go back to sleep until 4:40am !!! He cried for pretty much all of that time in pure temper that I wouldn't take him out of the cot. I even lay beside him which calmed him down for a while but then he got fed-up with that and roared again.
Please help me... I'm at the end of my tether already and working 3 days a week means I can't live on so little sleep. DH of course slept through the whole thing !!!
Thanks
Answer:
I'm sorry that I can only offer support and not suggestions. My 10M son is stong willed to say the least and is starting into the Tantrum stage so I feel your pain. He is such a wonderful little boy, but he wants to experiance everything and when he can't figure out how to do what he wants the only outlet he has is to arch his back lay on the floor and scream. The only thing I have to offer is a light swap on the butt and a stern "NO NO". (to which is usually giggles at). I know it isn't what you want to hear, but there are going to me times where he's just going to have to cry it out so that he learns that mommy isn't going to give into what he wants all the time.
Answer:
Oh, I know this one. Little Diva has always had a temper (even the nurses commented when she was new), and doesn't cry, she screams. She's now 15 months and is getting to be quite a challenge. Plus, she hits herself in the head with her fist if she's mad or I don't understand what she's saying. When laying down, she lifts her head and slams it back down. She'll throw her head back when mad - yesterday she hit the computer! When appropriate, as she'd tantruming, like in her high chair, I'll just sit there with a look on my face line yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. She stops and looks at me funny because I'm not reacting (like I do when I'm tired or sick and she keeps throwing food on the floor). She then stops. It's kind of funny. I think we just need to ensure they're safe and wait it out. I tell her, "OK, when you're done, we'll do this again."
She, too, has been up at night, and was a lot at a year. Two reasons - learning a lot with walking and talking, they are excited and want to practice. Just leave the light off and speak softly. Also, they are teething - molars are just below the surface. I would give her ibuprofen to get through 6 hours. That helped.
Answer:
Thanks for the support - I'm trying the 'Yeah, yeah, whatever' method and it's funny to see him get even more frustrated because the tantrum is having no effect Hopefully we'll get him out of this before it develops into a really regular thing that goes on for the next 3-4 years !!!!
Answer:
I feel your pain. I have a DS (5 yrs old) and a DS (14 months). My baby is totally different from my oldest son. He has been waking up everynight since 2 days before Christmas screaming so hard that it take me 5 - 10 minutes to calm him down. The he is hitting my DS-5 all the time no matter what he is doing. When I am changing his diaper he kicks, screams, smacks, flips, you name it he does it. He throws his food & cup on the floor everyday at dinner. He is just a little handful. I hope this is just a stage and we pass it quickly...
Answer:
I'm there with ya, except that we went through the crying it out at night thing about 2 mths ago! We actually had to move the kitchen table out of his way tonight because he kept banging his mouth on it!! (he can do that when he is in his booster seat)
The crying it out thing only took a few nights and then he was done with that. As far as the tantrums, I'm not sure what else to do besides walking away. DD threw tantrums, but not so young and she learned quick that they didn't work; Hers would only last a minute or so because she quit as soon as we walked away. DS seem more intense so I'm not sure what's going to happen with him!
Answer:
Oh, I so know what you are going through. DS-4, and DD-2 never went through this. My DS who is 12 months old (January 2 was bday) is going to be THE one! He throws the temper tantrums, throws objects when he's mad, will not be still enough to change his diaper. I have to literally hold him down with all my force to change a diaper...forget about changing his clothes!! And he is so persistant! We have cats and he will not leave their water bowl alone! I've even blockaded it with a dining chair and he is so smart, he figures out how to move it and had dumped it as many as 4 times in one day! He tries to grab your nose and rip it off and hits in the face. When I try to reprimand him, he just laughs. Grr!! I'm glad I'm not the only one going through this! I've been trying to figure out how to deal with it. Any suggestions from the experienced? I've tried the "yeah, yeah, yeah's" to no avail. I do know he likes a lot of attention.
Answer:
Vioburn, I had the cat's dish situation with my older kid. Dd isn't into it yet, but I'm sure she will be. I simply picked up the dishes and put them on the counter. I put them down when he was in another room or in bed. Yes, I'd forget, but if the cats were hungry, they knew where they were (they weren't allowed on the counters, but...). The other thing I did was put the dishes in the bathroom with a barrier. Cats could jump over, but not baby...yet.
Little diva still tantrums. She is smarter than I gave her credit for. If she wants a toy she's thrown off the bed, I just say, "No, you threw it out. It's sleepytime." She understands no. She still doesn't like it, but she is less angry, because at least she knows I'm not ignoring her, which is what she thought before. She is now starting to bite and pinch, checking our reactions. Of course, that has to be nipped from the beginning, with a firm, "No pinching - that hurts." She also pulls hair. I've told ds and dh to just watch out for the signs and keep arms and hair from those little teeth and fingers for now. It's a matter of helping baby find a way to let out the frustration. They watch what we do. They also test us. She throws things and looks for my reaction just before and after. I told her we only throw balls, so I'm stuck when she throws one of her little hard ones!
Answer:
My youngest just turned 1 last week. So far I haven't had to deal with this...knock on wood! My only advise is to ignore it as much as you can. I know that's easier said then done. But once they realize they aren't receiving attention for their bad behavior, they will normally try to find another way to communicate their wants. Good luck!