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It is such a battle to get my 11yr old dd to take some pride in her appearance, she fights me on everything. She refuses to take showers, will only take baths and even then i have to practically wrestle her like an alligator to get her in the tub! I have to stay in there to make sure her hair is washed, i actually do it for her so that i know all the soap is out and it actually gets washed. You have to check in on her constantly to make sure she is using the soap to wash up. I'm trying to explain to her the importance of personal hygiene since she started her first period now its even more important than ever. Is this a phase, will she ever start washing her own hair, scrub up and remember to put deoderant on each morning without me nagging her constantly?!! I know it's probably hormonal but i am amazed at how quickly her hair gets that greasy/oily look so quick between baths.
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I have this problem with my 9 yr old ds. It is like pulling teeth trying to get him in the tub. Sorry I don't really have any advice, just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I'd love to see if anyone has any advice...
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Hmmm...maybe let her pick out her own soaps and bath products at the store?
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I guess I am MEAN..cause it is just not an option at my house. If I had to put them in with their clothes still on, I would darn sure do it!!! We do not make them shower everyday, as several of mine have excema, but they do have to every other night W/ a hair washing included(and the older two choose to go ahead and shower EVERY morning), deoderant is a must on the big kids, and teeth brushing is, too. Even my four year old knows how to wash and rinse her own hair already with me just checking it.
I think it is just a matter of forcing the issue. Have you had problems in the past, or is this new? I was just wondering if it was a water issue or just a "like to fight mom" issue (I can assure you we have those in other areas!).
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I'm with Blessed, it's not an option here. We have scheduled bath/shower time every night at 6PM, the ONLY option is will it be a bath or a shower, kid's choice. We all use the kids formula shampoos, and Ivory soap. They know if I don't smell soap and shampoo, they are going right back in!! Same for toothbrushing, Momma better smell toothpaste on your breath when you kiss her goodnight, and you WILL kiss Momma goodnight! I think just stand your ground, and don't back down. If you gotta put them physically in the tub, then do it, they'll get the idea that your not giving up, then they'll just find something else to take up the cause against the system, but at least they'll be clean and fresh while they're doing it!!
Tonya
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I STILL have to struggle with this with my 14 yr old son. I keep thinking at some point he'll care, but so far he doesn't. If I didn't nag him to death, he'd never take a shower, never put on deodorant, never brush his teeth, never brush his hair, he'd put on dirty clothes, etc. It's a constant struggle with him. I try to make him do these things, but I'm with you....I can't understand why by this age he doesn't want to do it on his own. Sometimes I get so tired of nagging.
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I was talking to a friend not long ago who was saying her 11 yo son refuses to shower as well. With my own kids - they shower every other day no matter what. Dd's are almost 11 and one of them kind of fights it, but she doesnt get far. They all shower by themselves, even my 7 yo son - including washing the hair. Ive noticed on the girls if they dont shower every other day their hair gets really greasy fast. One of them doesnt like getting her face wet in the shower so she hasnt been washing the bangs too well - she'll get them wet but doesnt realize the shampoo doesnt hit that area so the next day her hair will be greasy. Was driving me nuts til I got in the bathroom with her and watched what she was doing - now I help her with her hair, she covers her face with a washcloth and i get the hair all shampooed up.
Maybe, as someone suggested, take her to pick out her own stuff? Maybe body wash, shampoo and conditioner that she'll like to use? A big shower poof might help? Its a tough age. Mine dont use deoderant yet. My friends son should be he wont do that either. Must be a universal problem! :-)
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Both of my older kids went through this. I say it is a phase. My 14 yr old son now takes at least one shower a day, and if he is out playing or whatever, he will take two. And on occasion will ask to take a shower. My 11 yr old dd also went through this, and now takes a shower just about everyday on her own. Sometimes I have to tell her, but then she doesn't fight she just gets right in. Usually when she wants to fight it is when a new Disney show is on.
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I had this problem with my oldest son. Thankfully he is now 15 yrs old and has out grown it. He has dicovered girls So he now takes the worlds longest showers.
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My niece did this too for awhile (maybe around 11-12). She would give the appearance of taking a shower...even go in and turn on the water...and just hang out. She wouldn't wash her hair, shower or brush her teeth without my sister standing over her like a hawk. She is 16 now and since has definately grown out of it. I would say that must be some weird phase that some go through. I have to remind my 9 yo to shower e/o night and also remind her to brush her hair in the morning. I just don't think it's that important to her yet.