Ask:
your children to react to another child if that child may be calling him/her names? Do you tell them to ignore the other child or do you tell them to say something back to the child? My dd had this to happen recently and we talked about how we already knew how the other girl acted. She did let her teacher know and she did handle it, but in that particular instance, I told my dd to be the bigger child and ignore her.
However, if it happens again, she is to clearly let the girl know she did not like it and would prefer her to not use that name again. How do you other parents handle these instances?
Answer:
Well, I used to say to ignore but you know, that only works in a sm amt of situations we've discovered and doesn't make my kids feel any better. I don't want to encourage my kids to call other kids names so we've decided to do the 'if you can't beat him, confuse 'em!'. LOL
Also I try to encourage my kids to say something back...in a positive way or make it funny to make them feel more empowered. One time a kid told one of my sons that he was the worst player on their baseball team and my son cheerily said "oh thank YOU! That is SO helpful to hear!". My son's response was loud enough that the coach heard, asked what was said and talked to the other kids parent. L.OL So it worked out.
Being a kid is tough!
Thankfully we don't have to deal with this too much but there was one child in my son's lane for swim practice and she would just not let up on telling my son what to do, teasing him...so finally he started saying stuff to her in response like "I like red licorice!" or "I'm going sledding tomorrow!". Just totally ignoring what she was saying and saying something completely off the wall. It worked and she just leaves him alone now.
In our experience it seems like there are just annoying kids out there, just like there are annoying adults. I tell my kids how I deal with annoying people. Smile and nod, ignore or run away. L.OL. They seem to appreciate that it happens to adults too.
Of course if the teasing gets out of hand or is hurtful, I let the teacher know ASAP.
Answer:
There are days I wish I could be a kid again, but then I see just how mean some kids are and think no thanks. I wish there was a magic saying that just worked.
Kelsey's response to meanness is simply "Would you like it if I said that to you". But then, this is ony said to her little brother, we haven't run across it at school. Also, she is VERY good at ignoring him, but again, that is the extent of her experience, luckily.
I must say though after reading it, I like Oregano's son's response "I like red licorice".. I wonder what kind of looks I'd get if I used that line instead of getting angry...
I hope others have some helpful advice!
Answer:
This is such a tough one. As you know, this is reality for us. My son has tried ignoring. He's tried telling the kid not to do or say something. He has tried reporting. He's tried using the "how would you feel if I said it to you"....bottom line is that his bully has emotional problems. I have already made it clear that they have to be separated next year classroom-wise (I witnessed this kid yell in my son's face THREE times during the Christmas party - all that happened is they were separated. My son wasn't even near this kid - this kid approached him. My son was getting a little crazy, and this kid can't handle it, even though my son isn't near him), but I want them to deal with this in the meantime.
I gotta tell you, sometimes I just want to give him permission to do exactly the same thing back. Problem is, it's usually the victim who gets in trouble, because the payback is when the teacher notices. Otherwise, I, myself wants to approach the kid.
I feel very strongly that rudeness and bullying need to be stopped by teachers and parents right away, rather than simply teaching kids how do deal with it. Why do kids have to deal with it? Not fair.