Ask:
My dd will be 1 yr old next week and is barely sleeping in 2 hr. increments. I know this is probably b/c I am still nursing and she seems to need to nurse and actually drink to get back to sleep. She is also very attached to me when I am around. She goes to daycare 2 days/week with no problem. I am feeling like I'll need to stop nursing to get her to learn how to get back to sleep on her own, but planned to nurse at least 18-24 mos. I put a binky in her crib and once a week she'll use it, but that's it. Any suggestions? What's worked for you? TIA!! Love, Sleepy Shabin
Answer:
well, this might not be the most popular response, but you will have to stop nursing during the night. Unless she is unusually small, a one-year old doesn't need to eat during the night. You can still nurse during the day - as long as you want. Mine all stopped on their own around 12 months and I didn't want it to go any further, so it was mutual decision. However - I have had several friends go longer and, speaking as a mother of an 18 month old - it won't get any easier that now to night-wean her. In six months, she was be very opinionated and will be able to scream muuuuuch longer than she can now.
Will she take a bottle? You could start giving her a bottle (of milk) during the night, and then start making it more watery until it is just water - the logic being that the baby will stop waking up if they are only going to get water. Just an idea - good luck - I hope you get to sleep soon!
Answer:
Try reading the Babywhisperer or go to the website They have a message board that seems to have alot of support for issues just like this. HTH
Answer:
Originally Posted by mhender
well, this might not be the most popular response, but you will have to stop nursing during the night. Unless she is unusually small, a one-year old doesn't need to eat during the night. You can still nurse during the day - as long as you want. Mine all stopped on their own around 12 months and I didn't want it to go any further, so it was mutual decision. However - I have had several friends go longer and, speaking as a mother of an 18 month old - it won't get any easier that now to night-wean her. In six months, she was be very opinionated and will be able to scream muuuuuch longer than she can
I have to totally agree. I went though this myself just a few months ago. I had trained my baby that she needed to be at the breast to fall asleep so when she woke in the night she looked for me, and I came running. She definately doesn't NEED to eat at night. After talking to my pediatrician I did what I swore I'd never do,we had to let het cry it out, It was really hard but se are much better for it now and she is almost 14 months now and sleeps from 8-7 occasionally you'll hear a little cry but she'll find her binky and go back Good Luck!!
Answer:
I agree too! I made the decision to let her cry it out around 6 months - it was SOOOOO hard, but I have to say it was the best decision we ever made. For about 3 nights, she cried - started out for about an hour, the next night is was down to 20 minutes, then a little over 5. After that, she has done really well. When she does wake up, I let her cry for a couple of minutes, then go in and reassure her that I'm still there, make sure she has her pacifier, and lay her back down. Within a minute or two, she's back asleep. Many nights she never wakes up at all. She just turned one, and is sleeping 12 - 13 hours a night. We are blessed! It was really hard, but the best thing to do! Good luck!
Answer:
I have to agree about letting the baby cry it out. Something my doc told us was that a baby had to learn to put themselves to sleep. So that meant we put her down at night in her crib and let her go to sleep. The first night was terrible!!! Meggy cried for what seemed like hours but the following night it was shorter and then finally she just went to sleep. It was wonderful!!! I can remember having guest over, excusing myself to put the baby down and coming back within about 10 minutes and they would ask where the baby was, when I told them in her bed going to sleep they would just be amazed!!! I am telling you this was the best thing we did for both of our kids. And for us!!! Life is so much easier when you get your sleep!!! It has been quite a few years ago that I went thru this but I remember it just like it was yesterday. BUT DO NOT GO IN AND GET THE BABY WHEN SHE IS CRYING!!!! If you do that then the next night will be even worse.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Klippy
BUT DO NOT GO IN AND GET THE BABY WHEN SHE IS CRYING!!!! If you do that then the next night will be even worse.
This is a must!!! I thought I would grind my teeth down to nothing before she would quit crying but it was for her own good.
Answer:
I'm sure you remember I'm right there with you. Are you cosleeping? That will make it easier to at least get some sleep. However, I cosleep, and need diva to stop nursing all night, as it's making her too heavy. I know you are a very sensitive mom, and the CIO is not for you, as it's not for me, but I do have to suggest a happy medium. I won't let my little lady cry for a long time, especially not while teething, but she wakes up crying, no screaming, sometimes (she's 17 mos. now). I've gotten so I let her go for 3-5 minutes before I go in (this is when I am up like this in another room while she sleeps at night). Often times, and especially lately, she goes back to sleep. If it goes beyond 5 mins., or is really out of control (you know your child's cries), or if throwup is going to be involved, I do go in. If she wakes up screaming, I know I need to go in right away, because she could be in pain or had a bad dream and needs me. But if I hear little sounds, then cries that crescendo, I know I can let her go for a bit.
It will get better. I promise. They do start to sleep thru the night, but you have to survive the months and years before they do. You have to do what works for you. When I do go to bed and stay there with her, I turn over and tell her that "bra" as she calls it, is sleeping. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. Often, I find her attached, and neither of us has realized it.
The other thing is I read that babies often wake up a bit when they pee at night. If they are used to using milk and you to get back to sleep, that's what they'll demand. I don't think it would hurt to try letting her put herself back to sleep, starting with making her wait one minute, then two, building up to 10 or so before going in. The other thing I tried, successfully, to teach her to go to sleep alone, before I even attempted letting her cry, is I went in, nursed her, then left her while she was still awake, but full and a little sleepy. Sometimes she would protest, but I kept going without looking back. Not 100% successful, but it was more often than not. That taught her she could indeed go back to sleep without a full mouth. We're graduating from there - some nights better than others.
Also, check her temperature. Diva wakes up if she's too warm. She prefers it cooler, but of course, will wake up if it's too cold. You can tell by seeing if she's sweating or has cold arms. Diva likes it cooler. My son was the same way.
Are you giving her choices in the daytime yet? They are so smart! Out of the blue, I started asking if she wanted this outfit or that outfit, this cup with milk or that cup with water, and she lets me know! We just have to give them the chance. It's going to start coming back out at you very soon. Is she walking yet? She will get more clingy to you as she tries new, scary things. Diva was getting up in the middle of the night to practice standing on the bed. Her big thing now is to bend over and look at me thru her legs, saying "Upside down." Cute, but not at 3am. Now that she talks up a storm, she also sometimes says her new words in her sleep, waking herself up at times. My snoring does, too.
Answer:
Well I think I can TRY the cry it out thing, but not til next Thurs-Mon. I will just have to make some adjustments as she is sharing a room w/my 5yo dd right now, but she does have her own room. thanks so much for all your advice and support. I do want to do an overnight trip w/my dh at the end of next month so that will give me a month to make it happen! I wish she had a lovey or something too.
It is 11am and I nursed her, put her in crib sleepy and she woke up, played a little and went to sleep on he own. She CAN and has done that in the daytime. Sometimes I have to put her in her infant seat and put on the weather channel, but it works! she isn't talking yet, but has been walking for 2 mos.
Answer:
You're such a good mommy.