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I could really use some advice! I'm not certain if I'm an overreactive first-time mom or if I really do have a reason to be concerned. I'm a SAHM of a nearly 18-month old little boy.
From birth, I knew that he was challenging. He was very sensitive to loud noises, would scream uncontrollably for hours (yet did not have colic or reflux) and had a great deal of difficulty sleeping. We were able to resolve his sleeping difficulties by about 10 months and he has been doing well since....provided that we keep him on a very strict schedule. Here's what has me concerned, however...
He is extremely sensitive to others and their actions around him. At times, I wonder if this is due to a relative inexposure to other kids as he is an only child (he does attend a church nursery and a large playgroup once a week, however). When around other children, however, he is extremely sensitive. If accidentally pushed,if another child invades his personal space or if something else isn't going his way, he will scream uncontrollably for 10-15 minutes every single time. I've been watching the other toddlers in our playgroup and such to see how they react to similar situations and the differences are striking.
At times, I wonder if his "extreme" temper is simply a phase or if this is indicative of something else. I should also mention that he only uses two words and a handful of baby signs...perhaps his frustration is due to his lack of speech?
So...does this sound like normal toddler behavior? Should I mention his behavior to our pediatrician?
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[quote=Marie463]
He was very sensitive to loud noises, would scream uncontrollably for hours (yet did not have colic or reflux) and had a great deal of difficulty sleeping. We were able to resolve his sleeping difficulties by about 10 months and he has been doing well since....provided that we keep him on a very strict schedule.
My ds was similar to this he would scream when I turned on the vacum and when he was older he would run to his room and shut the door. He did the same thing with other loud noises. He eould have those screaming spells like clockwork every evening. He still is at 4 a person of routine. He needs his schedule! As far as the play. How do you react when he does this or others push him? I used to stay nearby and would give him words and be really calm.
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It's never a bad idea to mention something that has you concerned to your pediatrician (in my opinion, that's exactly what they're for!). One of two things will happen - either you will get the reassurance YOU need (if your child's behavior is normal), or the doctor will be made aware of something that might need to be followed up on (if the behavior isn't normal) and you can take the appropriate next step. Good luck!
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Wow - thanks for your quick response!
To answer your question about what I do when he is around others and starts to freak out....wellll, I must admit that I'm a bit at a loss for what to do. I've tried consoling him and ignoring it. Neither seem to have much effect! I like your idea about trying to remain very calm and using soothing words...I will definitely try that next time.
It's reassuring to see that there are other kids that are tied to their schedules! At times, I feel like my little guy is the only one that is so sensitive about a routine. I must admit that I'm soooo envious at times of friends of mine that are able to hold off their child's nap for an hour or two to suit their schedules...we only have about a 15-minute window of flexibility! It's soooo difficult to have to explain to relatives and such why it is so important to keep him on his schedule...at times I feel like they feel as if I'm just a naieve (sp?) first-time mom who has a lot to "learn." (And although I do have a lot to learn, I know first-hand the wrath that will follow if we get off of his schedule by more than 15 minutes or so!)
If you don't mind me asking, "mommyandwifeisme,"....is your ds officially diagnosed with a special need?
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My son had the nearly same issues. He would scream at the vacuum. Yet, now with my second, she doesn't bat an eye. He hated tags, sleeves, anything itchy would drive him crazy. I learned early on to adjust, but found out later he has sensory integration disorder. Check out the Out of Sync child book and look up SID on the web. Very eye opening and actually comforting for me to know I wasn't crazy or making a mountain out of a molehill. Bright lights, flickering flourescents, no good. Easily distracted. Loud rooms would make him literally scream. I can relate, as I can't stand many of those things, either, but we learn to adjust, although it puts me still on edge.
Having a schedule was hard for me and is so very important for your situation, so mucho kudos to you. Yes, run it by your pediatrician, but be aware that many are not trained in this area. A Developmental Pedicatrician can do a real diagnosis, along with helping with therapy referral. Certain foods can make it worse. Sugars don't set my son off, but lots of carbs can make him go a little crazy. Too much protein makes him tired. Therapies help with both coping and desensitization. However, it's often best to distract or remove. My son couldn't be in a playgroup or part for more than two hours. The play places at the mall, if very busy, were recipes for disaster. Just learn and pay attention to what works and what doesn't and try to plan accordingly. Feel free to pm me if you want. Been there, done that, and now he's six. He is adjusting well in that area, but I still see when things put him on edge or are just uncomfortable. You are not making too much of it, but recognizing that people are different and are being sensitive, like a wonderful parent, to your child's needs. My son loves hugs ONLY when he initiates them, and it's so hard on me - he used to be such a cuddler. Now, he wants to sit near me and touch me, but in no way, be held onto.
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Originally Posted by desertmom
My son had the nearly same issues. He would scream at the vacuum. Yet, now with my second, she doesn't bat an eye. He hated tags, sleeves, anything itchy would drive him crazy. I learned early on to adjust, but found out later he has sensory integration disorder. Check out the Out of Sync child book
I was just going to recommend the same possibility and book. When I read this book i said to myself "this is my child." This might be a great place for you to start. My local library had it.
amy
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Thank you all again so much for taking the time to respond! When I started this thread, I was a mess...that morning we had over 10 kids at our house and 5 mommies (one of those rare occasions when EVERYONE showed up for playgroup!)...and my ds just freaked out while it seemed like all of the other kids where having a great time. I spent the afternoon pretty upset wondering what was wrong with my little guy...
Some of the things that you mentioned regarding sensory information dysfunction don't pertain to my ds - as in the tags itching, etc. - however, because he is so young (18m) and is not talking, I'm not certain how he feels about certain things unless he starts crying (ok, screaming!) Regardless, I'm definitely going to check out the "Out of Sync Child" book from our local library and familiarize myself more with SID so that I know what to watch out for as he gets older.
Thank you all again so much!
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A follow up note for you. DS' occupational therapist at school just sent me a note that she will start doing the brushing technique for my son. It's used for Sensory sensitive people to kind of desensitize them. There's a special brush they use on their skin. May be worth looking into. They had mentioned it, and I hadn't been able to find out much about it yet - they are going to meet with me first.
Also, things that bother some people with the disorder don't bother others. Some love loud music, some go crazy. Some hate angora sweaters - the fur drives them crazy (I'm one, and I'm pretty sure I have SID), and others like them.