Help!! My 4 yr old will not stay in his bed!!

Ask:
My DS is giving me major sleeping issues...he is 4 years old and over the last 3 months has been waking up 3-5 times per night, coming into our bedroom and climbing into bed with DH and I. When we ask what is wrong, he says he's scared. We are constantly up and down all night putting him back into bed only to have him wandering back to our bed an hour or two later. If we attempt to put him back in his bed without lying with him, he screams at the top of his lungs and wakes up my 15 year old daughter and probably half of my neighbors! The lack of sleep is draining me and my big pregnant belly isn't helping any when he is squeezing in bed with us. We've tried it all...nightlights, telling him not to disturb us and to lay on our floor with his pillow and blanket, giving him stickers with rewards on a responsibility chart, bribing him with a few pennies or quarters if he stays in bed all night...nothing seems to be working. We have showed him all through his room that there are no monsters, pretended to spray the monsters away...I am just at a loss. Any suggestions?
Answer:

Do you think he really is scared or is that his key to your room? My son 4 as well lately for the first 2 hours we put him to bed he gets up knocking on the door or saying his music went off (we put in a lullaby cd, he's had since a baby) Lately I tell him if he gets up then I will take his pillow with me (it is the one he doesn't use) I have only had to do this twice.
Answer:

First, I will remind you that as the parents, you are in charge. You CAN insist that he stay in his bed. You CAN make sure there are dire consequences to screaming so loud he wakes up his sister.

Secondly, he probably is scared. Children this age often have night terrors. He is probably lonely. It is completely normal for preschoolers to want to sleep with mom and dad. After all, you get to sleep with someone, why does he have to sleep alone?

Third, waking up several times a night isn't normal at that age. Is he having trouble breathing? Does he snore? Does he have asthma? A stuffy nose? Does he need to go potty often? Is he having growing pains? Is he so tired that he is napping during the day? I recommend addressing the physical situation first, then address the discipline part.

Good luck.
Answer:

My 4 year old did the same thing! However, we did fix it. We still have a rocking chair in his room so when he would come into our bed we'd take him back to his and stay with him until he fell back asleep.

Then we stopped letting him watch TV so close to bed time. I'd read a lot about how TV before bed would cause bad sleep patterns. It was amazing how much better he started sleeping after we did that.

Just last week we started putting him to bed to fall asleep by himself. We read a book tucked him in and told him that he had to stay in his room. The first night was awful. He screamed and cried for over an hour. Then he finally laid down in bed and went to sleep.

Since then he's been pretty good about it, just whining a little when we leave. I also got some linen spray with camommile in it for him. It's his "monster spray". We spray it every night to keep the monsters away and I think the scent helps relax him for sleep. Daddy also gives him a special kiss to keep him safe, but the special kiss only works if he keeps his eyes closed.

Hope this helps!
Answer:

Do you have a pet that you can reassure him will protect him?

Monitor what he's watching on tv. My 6 yr old had nightmares after an episode of SpongeBob.

We used to let her crawl in bed with use but now she is too big. It took about 3 nights of just repeatedly putting her back into bed and letting her know it would no longer be acceptable. Yes I was sleep deprived so I know how that feels but she got the message.
Answer:

I put up a string of lights around her windows. I told her they are fairy lights and the fairies protect her. I also bought her a little castle radio that she has next to her bed that plays the local country station. She still gets up after a nightmare and comes to get me but she always lets me tuck her back in her own bed. She is very happy with the radio & lights.
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