Ask:
Out of blue - right when her PARENTS stop to pick her up - my 5 y.o. DS runs and hits his friend in the stomach. Man! I don't understand! He just had one of those freak-out extra-energy moments and she may have just been in his way.
Soooo embarassing! What do you do?
He's been in time-out for an hour and I think I am going to make him write her an apology. I am soooo angry with him!
Answer:
Immediatly administer a time out and make him appoligize. But he is 5 yrs old and his time out should not be for more than 5 minutes. Definitely talk to him about the hitting and how it makes his friends feel and how it makes you feel.
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I make them apoligize first, then time out (1 min per age=5 mins), then we have a talk and I read whatever book goes with the action out of Joy Berry's Be Good series, I LOVE those books! Seems like I read my ds the Being Destructive book every week! LOL
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The writing and delivering an apology is definitely a big one, along w/ a verbal apology. Kids see the darndest things on TV (real and animated) and on the playground. We have to explain that what they see on TV is not real, but acted.
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I personally would put him in a time out. I know the entire one minute for every year but to me hitting a friend in the stomach out of the blue like that deserves a longer punishment. Perhaps not an hour but more than five minutes.
If it were my son i would make him have a time out, call and apologize to the friend and the mother and he would lose a very favorite toy for two or so days. OR if he has a favorite video game or tv program that would be gone in place of a toy.
We would have a long talk about how hurting people is not good and how would he feel if he was the one who got hit......
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Oh and wanted to ask...was this a one time thing or does he do this on a regular basis when this friend is picked up.
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My youngest ds has started doing this. Dh thinks it's ds's way of survival around his brother but I as his mommy don't like it
I immediately remove him from the room, square up to him, look him in the eyes and firmly say "no hitting". I also tell him he needs to apologize. He will say Sorry
If it happens again, I do the same thing, but this time put him in his room. He comes out and says he's sorry
If it becomes a regular problem, I start removing toys. I keep overflow of toys in the attic so they know if I start taking toys away, they are gone!!!
Answer:
Originally Posted by Jodie
Oh and wanted to ask...was this a one time thing or does he do this on a regular basis when this friend is picked up.
No - he's never done this before. We've never ever had any problems out of him at all. He and his (boy) friend/neighbor have scuffled over stuff before, but honestly, the other one is very spoiled and VERY grabby. I have witness several of the scuffles and mine is usually defending his "property" and not letting the other kid grab his toy away. This was more upsetting because it was a girl - I know that's sexist, but I want my son to know from the beginning that you never ever ever hit a girl - even if she hits you first.
Honestly - he wasn't in time-out for a whole hour - more like 45 minutes. I usually abide by the 5 minute rule, but for hitting - I feel like he is old enough to stay there longer. Ours is a time-out bench, so he wasn't standing in the corner or anything. The main reason was so he could think about it. He wrote her an apology and colored her a picture, so I am happy again. I know all kids screw up from time to time - buy why in front of her parents?????