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Here's some good info I found on about how to help children deal with deployments.
Many people assume children are the hardest hit by deployment, but that doesn't have to be the case. A deployment can be a positive experience for a child—provided everything is organized on the home front and questions are answered honestly.
First, address your child's fears or questions. Many children worry for your safety as well as their own. The may feel fear, helplessness, anger, confusion, or loneliness. As a result, unusual behavior—aggressiveness, misbehaving, regression, withdrawal, clinginess or changes in sleeping or eating habits-can occur.
If your child needs help coping, try the following:
Talk to the your child in terms he or she can understand. When trying to explain your deployment, or war/conflict in general, use examples from children's books, stories or cartoons. Avoid introducing too many subjects in one conversation and keep your comments simple and short. Always make sure you give your child time to ask questions. "Read" your child to determine how much or how little to say.
Limit your child's access to media coverage about the military situation if he or she is having strong emotional reactions.
Pay attention to your child's behavior and watch for abrupt or chronic mood changes.
Be realistic about the length of time you could be gone and about the frequency of communication.
Give your children as much attention as you can before you leave. Ensure the spouse/caretaker left behind is able to spend time with the children after you leave.
Make sure any child care providers or teachers know about your deployment so they can be watchful for behavioral changes.
Reassure your child that you will do everything you can to stay safe.
Answer:
Thanks for this!
My DD was 6 months old when her father left for Iraq in 2003, and 2 years old when he came back. She was too young to know better that he was gone, but had MAJOR problems when he came home. Anxiety like you cannot imagine.
We are now about to face another long deployment. She is now 4, her little sister is one and a half, and I dont know how old the baby will be when he ends up leaving, but I am VERY worried. My two oldest are VERY attached to Daddy, and it is devestating.
Answer:
I know exactly what you mean. My son is really missing his daddy and I've had a hard time getting him to realize he's not coming back today or tomorrow...but I've been trying to keep the conversations light and give him something to look forward to when DH does come home...our trip to Hawaii! Then I also take pics of him a lot to send to DH and DS has a pic of DH in his bedroom. That way Daddy is watching over him while he sleeps. He likes it and gives him kisses goodnight. Its sweet! He also colors pics for DH and I send them to him with lots of kisses from DS. Now I just need to post something about how to deal with MY anxiety!!!