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My ds is 3 the baby my dd is 8 months. Just the past month , since she began to crawl, he is constantly hurting her or being rough, with no reason. He will hold her hands or feet so she can't crawl, push her head down, sit on her back, take things out of her hands. Not all at the same time but close. I've taken his toys away, I've put him in time out (he won't stay there), I even "Lord forgive me", smacked his hiney, he'll cry at first but not too long after he's back to it. I'm constantly yelling "be nice", "don't hurt her", "she's just a baby", it means nothing to him. His is a very mild manner child I don't get it. And I'm so lost! Can anyone help???What should I do?
Answer:
It sounds like he may be a little jealous. I had the same problem when I brought home my 2nd. Try telling him things he can do with her and mybe some way he can help his baby sister. I really tried to point out that she was bigger and able to do more. Now with there baby brother I have the opposite problem. They won't stop lovin on him! It's always something.
Answer:
I too am dealing with this same issue. I'm amazed that my 1 y/o even learned to walk, because he was always being tackled, or knocked over! It is very frustrating, and I agree with Rebecka, that it's more than likely an attention thing. I have been meaning to go out with just me and Gavin (my 2 y/0) at least one day a week, but I just haven't done it yet. I hope this will help resolve his behavior! The way that I do discipline him is a stool we have in the bathroom. I take him in there, explain to him why he's being punished, and he must sit there for 2 min. if he gets up, I put him right back, and time starts over. After the time is up, he must say "sorry for ____" to whomever he did whatever to. I have found that if he doesn't get a rise out of me, and I am consistent with my discipline, it works much better. I hope you find something that works for you!
Erin
Answer:
I agree that this is probably attention-seeking behavior. My oldest dd went through it horribly when the twins came along, and she was barely 2 when they were born. (I think she was mostly reacting to the stress we were all dealing with because one of the twins was very sick and hospitalized for 6 months before coming home with all kinds of medical equipment and an entourage of home care nurses.)
The calmer and more consistent you can be when you punish, the better. TRUST ME! Momma2boys had great discipline ideas that are very similar to what we implement in our house. Though I also take away toys, or stories, if necessary.
Also try to find a little time each day you can spend with just him, putting together a puzzle or playing Memory, something that will help him feel special and loved. If you can have this time consistently each day (I do it when the twins are down for thier naps. I play with my oldest for an hour or so, then I get an hour of computer time or whatever while she watches a video or plays with toys.)
Good luck!!
Answer:
I have the same problem with my 2yr old and 8 month old. I find that when I let him "help" with the baby, he is a lot nicer. I have him bring diapers and have him help feed him(help hold the spoon) and I also try and point out all the things that he can do and the baby can't(i.e. you can play with this toy because you're a big boy, the baby can't eat this cookie but you can because you're a big boy ect.)
Also, when he hits the baby, I tell him no then I take his hand and let him gently touch the baby's hair and say "soft" and I tell him that we are "soft" with the baby. I had the same problem with my two older ones(now 5&6) it took a little while, but they learned. Good luck!
-Maof4
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I just wanted to add that when we talk about the baby too he isn't my baby he is our baby. The girls just eat that up. We have friends who have a 1 yr old and they are always talking to that baby's sibs about what THEIR baby does. They are soooo proud of him.
Answer:
Thanks for the help, I am definately going to devote some time just for my ds. We did this yesturday during dd's naptime and it seemed to help some. I also am going to start saying our baby, I can see how that could help. THANK YOU!!!