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I don't know about you, but when my kids' feelings are hurt or if they are physically hurt by someone I get into "mama bear" instinct mode.
Last week a little boy in my oldest son's preschool class had a birthday party. When we received the invitation I was going to blow it off ~ our weekends are nuts now with the move coming up etc. Anyway, as we were driving home, the same day I received the birthday invitation, my ds tells me that David punched him in the tummy. David is the birthday boy and is also the pastor's son of the MMO program. I asked ds "why did he hit you?" Zach says "because he wanted the truck I was playing with". I wanted to turn my car around and go and have a little talk with Mr. David but instead decided to mention it the following day of school. I then asked "are you friends with David?" He says "No, he and Hunter don't want to play with me anymore". You could hear in his voice the confusion and the sadness. My heart just sunk. So I then asked "who do you play with?" He said "Mira, Kirsten and sometimes Garett". Basically saying he plays with the girls.
So the next day I drop him off and ask the teachers if they have noticed any physical roughness between the boys. One of the teachers admitted that " a couple of the boys" like to pick on Zach from time to time. Realizing they can't mention names at this point and I think are protecting the pastor's son (the MMO program is in a church) I ask "how are things handled when the boys get physical?" They tell me that they separate them and take away the toys they are fighting over. When I inquired about who Zach plays with they say to me "he is a friendly guy...he plays with everyone....he's always doing something constructive". That didn't quite answer my question but I was happy to know he wasn't causing any trouble. Just at that moment, David was dropped off by his mother. I told her that we woudln't be able to attend the birthday party and she seemed disappointed. I told her life was just too crazy and that we have our weekends pretty full from now until we move. Her response was "this must be a bad time of year for party" making me think that not a lot of people were coming to the party. At that point I wanted to say "your punk A$$ kid is bullying kids around" but I refrained and said 'with the snow melting and stuff, families are probably taking this time to get out and about". I don't know if she bought that or not, but oh well
Just before I went to leave, I was watching the boys interact and sure enough David and Hunter started teaming up on Zach. I walked over to them (in front of the teachers) and said "If you boys can't be nice to one another, I suggest you go and play by yourselves. We share toys, we share laughs and we share hugs...but we don't share tears" and I kissed Zach and left.
It took everything in me not to wring their necks!!! LOL
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Way to go. My 15 yr old is having lots of trouble with people calling he fat and pushing her to the point she cusses them out then shes the one in trouble. Been kicked of the bus numerous time over the same 2 girls, principal is no better. He in fact lied to me twice saying bus driver said she did this --neither driver has any idea what hes talking about--say others are the problem. I called to ask about this and he said Ill put her back on bus and hung up. He now told her that if the girls told him she did anythin he would kick her out of his school for good. Tryed talking to paerents--they are as bad as the kids --had me crying feeling like a teenager again, Why are they so cruel????? She just got her first boyfrind and now they are laughing at him so much for liking her hes acting funny now. I just want to beat someone. I'm just an easy going person and try to work things out with people, but its not working
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Good for you!
We dropped out of the playgroup for this reason.
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I'm sorry to hear that.
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My heart broke for Zach as I was reading that. It actually reminded me alot of my own son. He is in 4th grade now, and is doing better as far as bullies go. But man I feel your pain! I don't know how many times I wanted to go to school and let some boys have it! I think you handled it wonderfully.
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I'm so glad that you said something to those boys in front of the teachers (and I hope his mother). We've had a few of the same type situations and it is heartbreaking. It's hard to have to explain to someone so innocent that not everyone is nice. At this age, they just don't understand why. I tell my kids all the time that they should only play with kids who aren't mean to anyone, those will be the ones that are nice friends.
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I have so been there. I would have actually just calmly mentioned it to his mother, too, maybe asking if he's been sick, because he's been a little aggressive toward your little one. She deserves to know, although it's not her fault and often out of her control. She needs to tell him why some kids won't be his friend.
The teachers need to "step up" and keep them separated until he's over this and stop the ganging up immediately. That should not be allowed. OK, I won't even step on my soapbox, but I feel strongly about what they allow as far as bullying. Kids are too young to work it out on their own - they need guidance.
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OH, i am terrible when it comes to this stuff. Momma Bear and Evil B*tch come out of hiding when kids are picking on one of mine. It's so hard not to say something to the kid like that part in the movie " The Hand that Rocks the Cradle" when Payton(the nanny) confronts the bullies picking on the child she is watching.
At dd's Christmas program i walked her into the building and noticed a group of girls huddled in a circle looking at dd and whispering and staring at her. I knew one of the girls had been picking on dd for awhile, she's the little ring leader of the bunch. For 5th graders these girls are worse than the ones in high school!!!! They kept staring at us while i walked dd into the music room where the chorus was supposed to meet before the program, i made eye contact with all of them and gave them the stare-down like they were to dd ............and i finally said " Shake your head, your eyes are stuck!!!"......God forgive me, but i couldn't help myself!!!! lol Must have worked because the group had scattered by the time i walked out of the music room!
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Originally Posted by Country~mouse
" Shake your head, your eyes are stuck!!!"......God forgive me, but i couldn't help myself!!!! lol Must have worked because the group had scattered by the time i walked out of the music room!
That is awesome!! I love that!
I feel for your daughter. Girls, I think, are ten times worse than boys. I think that is why I was a tomboy growing up. I honestly could never understand all the drama and back stabbing. It was annoying and such a waste of time!
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It is normal to get hurt, angry, and upset when anyone...including kids...hurt your children. I know my dd had a group of girls who were really mean to her in the 2nd grade. The teacher even admitted that they would refuse to do the classroom chores they were assigned to do with her (of course I wondered why the teacher allowed that..but whatever). Well my dd is now in the 11th grade with a wonderful group of friends and extremely happy in school, but to this day when I see one of those girls from her 2nd grade class it's all I can do to not choke the little b**ches. :furious: :furious: