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(((This is a follow up to my original post: Getting off the Roller Coaster)))
Thanks gals! It really is a great feeling. Sometimes you don't realize how tense and knotted up inside you are... because you're not living "authentically" (to steal Oprah's words.)
I have posted what we've done to tackle our problem all over the board under different topics, but I'll post a brief outline here too :
1. Stop Buying: I have simply stopped shopping for stuff. Period. There is nothing 'new' coming in to organize, fret over, return or mess with. Cost: $0.00 per month. I was inspired by many things KathrynHannah posted. One thing was the littlebrowndress woman who wore the same outfit for a whole year. It really *clicked* for me, that we have such excess in our lives! The whole concept of having *enough* really hit home for me. Also, another thing posted by KathrynHannah (I think it was her...) was some people who decided to live for one year without buying anything *new*. If they needed something, it had to be borrowed, purchased at a resale shop or made by them. Or they made do without it. My whole way of thinking has transformed. It sounds kooky, but it is true. I was drowning in stuff and it was a horrible feeling, but I kept adding more stuff and kept drowning. No longer.
2. You Are What You Read: I began reading Affluenza and Your Money or your Life AGAIN. I read these years ago, but wasn't ready to change. However, now I am in a place where I have embraced the message of these books.
3. Get Everyone On Board: DH has been very helpful. He packs a lunch every day, which saves tons of money. He is the one who does all the rebates through Walgreens (I get so much free stuff, from make up to shampoo, conditioner, children's ibuprofin, deodorant, toilet paper, paper towels etc...) He scouts out credit cards which pay us money for our transactions. For instance, I have a Pentagon Federal cc that pays us 5% back on all gas purchases. Our other cc pays us 2.5% on gas/groceries/prescriptions. We regularly see a monthly deduction (last month it was like $69.00) on our credit statement.
4. Coming Clean: I let our friends and family know we are working toward a goal. I didn't just say we're trying to cut back... that tends to make people think you're just being cheap. I told them we discovered we were in serious financial trouble and that we HAD to achieve our goal of paying off our credit card (I forget the exact, current amount, but it is around $60K now.)
5. Change of Eating Habits: I have limited our McDonald's outings. It has become something "special" instead of a bi-weekly occurrence. Along these lines, I have been cooking meals at home that produce a lot of "leftovers." I know so many families who won't eat leftovers! Gimme a break! I make a huge pot of chicken noodle soup and we eat it for 3 days (and I will eat it for lunches also...dh too. The kids don't like this, which is fine... but I have discovered a side-effect of eating at home more: I have also been losing weight! Things seem to fall into alignment when you are living life in balance.) We have also stocked up on things we buy at specialty stores like Trader Joe's. For example, we buy 3 loaves of their bread and freeze until needed. Saves on trips out there.
6. Limit Expensive Activities: I took my son out of preschool for a variety of reasons, but I also spoke with the supervisor of the facility and got a full refund. I didn't feel the program was worth the money. We are limiting the activities our kids are involved in.
7. Yard Sale It: We had a yard sale and earned several hundred dollars. We use this as our "cash on hand" and do not go to the ATM. If this money disappears too quickly, we know we're being careless or that we need to declutter some more and have another sale!
8. Use Less: I've been following the tips on here and using less of laundry soap, dish detergent, shampoo, soaps and re-using dryer sheets. We've been wearing our things longer (if it's not dirty or smelly, we're wearing things like pants another day. Sometimes I don't shower until the afternoon, so my clothes are only worn a couple hours before bedtime. So, I'll wear that top the next day. I'm a SAHM and don't work up a sweat. I'm a germaphobe and clean freak, so believe me, I would not do this if it wasn't still spic-n-span clean. Same with my boys... I'm trying to get them to wear things two days when possible. It cuts down on the endless loads of laundry. Little things like this add up over time.) I've turned the heat down and we've bundled up more. I've been driving less. I couldn't believe how long it was since I'd filled up the tank! It really does make a difference. I was driving around to so many stores...senselessly!
7. Cancelled Dish: We were paying for the most expensive 'package' through Dish Network. We scaled back to the package that is 2 levels lower than we were getting before (I don't know how else to describe it.) We have so many things recorded already that there is so much pressure to hurry and watch things to "make room" to record more! So, we can easily get rid of these channels. If we want it again in the future, we can always add it next year.
8. Take Pride: Instead of feeling deprived, I feel proud and excited that we are living within our means, living true to who we are, not trying to keep up with anyone else's standards, and saving money for our future.
9. Free Haircuts: By me. I cut all 3 boys' hair and DH's too. Twice a year I splurge on my own cut/color. DH once convinced me to let him try cutting my hair! ACKK what a disaster. I feel I do deserve a professional cut twice a year! And I get hi-lights, although I am considering going to my natural color.
10. Shop the Sales: I have never done this in the past. I had no problem paying $2.99/lb for grapes, but a few months ago several families were signing up to bring items to our end-of-season soccer party. No one would sign up to buy the fruit and I finally realized why: it's expensive! I was the sucker who signed up to bring green grapes, purple grapes and strawberries. Holy Moly! This was around the time I discovered this site, and after spending about $10 on grapes and $10 on strawberries while everyone else brought cheap store-brand soda or chips, I felt like the biggest idiot on the block! I calculated the cost of grapes the next time they were on sale ($1.49/lb) and realized the difference really is significant. I sometimes need to be whacked on the side of the head for these things to *click*... I now shop the sales in the store and it's been eye-opening! What a difference.
11. Have Hubby do the Shopping: This works for me because he goes in, gets the 3 things we need, and leaves. I am a browser. While I'm in the store I "discover" 10 things I never knew I "needed"!!! Needless to say, when he zips in and out, we spend a whole lot less. He knows this and doesn't mind doing the errand-running. Also, without hauling the kids around we have less stress and less time in the store.
12. Shop at Yard Sales: I haven't been going lately (I'm trying to declutter) but I buy almost all of our clothing at yard sales. We have so many clothes, we are fully stocked for a long time... I can't even begin to gush about how much $$ this has saved us. And, no, we don't look like rag-a-muffins . I look like a normal Gap/Old Navy suburban mom and my kids all wear name-brand clothing.
For a more detailed list of things we do daily, I posted a bunch of things awhile back in the "Things you can do daily to save money" sticky thread. It's toward the last page. There are many more things we do, but I have to get off the computer for now...
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Kellytime, I loved reading your list, you have really made some great changes that I am trying to incorporate into our lives also. It is so nice to see how it works for you and your family
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Wow. I loved reading your list. Way to go!!
You're right, you have to be in the right place in your life to embrace this lifestyle. I bet in a year you'll not only be WAY better off financially, but more happy and fulfilled.
Do you have a here blog yet? It might be a great way for you to track your own progress (and let others learn from you too).
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Exellent post Kelly and quite an inspiration! We don't have a lot of debt but I will be quitting my job later this year to finally be a SAHM and these are all things I need to be doing and will try to do now while the extra money is still here so we can save the extra.
Thanks for sharing with us!
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Love all your tips !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am going to print it and keep reading it over and over. Thanks for the much needed help.
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Originally Posted by kellytime
8. Take Pride: Instead of feeling deprived, I feel proud and excited that we are living within our means, living true to who we are, not trying to keep up with anyone else's standards, and saving money for our future.
This is an amazing list Kellytime. You could write a book about your experiences and these could be the chapter titles! You've really got it. I remember when it clicked for me too and the transformation was amazing. I also found it really deepened our marriage and made it so much stronger.
I really think you hit on something really big with the point above. This is what made the difference to me in terms of keeping it up long term. When I first started to save, I was a reluctant saver. Then when things clicked for me, I had a very similar experience and suddenly I took pride in the fact that we were living within our means. The stress evaporated and I no longer felt deprived.
I also experiences so many other things you described. I lost weigh because we ate out less. I felt less stress with fewer money worries. My marriage felt stronger than it ever had, and I had a new sense of purpose rather than the feelings of failure that debt brought with it.
You are an inspiration to the women on these boards. We are proud of you.
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Yes, your story really is amazing.
It's wonderful how we are all making progress in the search for simplicity.
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Originally Posted by KathrynHannah
I really think you hit on something really big with the point above. This is what made the difference to me in terms of keeping it up long term. When I first started to save, I was a reluctant saver. Then when things clicked for me, I had a very similar experience and suddenly I took pride in the fact that we were living within our means. The stress evaporated and I no longer felt deprived.
I second this, my dh was hard to convince at first. He was one of those people who didn't want to be "deprived" when we had the money to do/buy things. It has taken him a while, but he is finally realizing that just because you have money, doesn't mean you have to spend all of it. It kind of makes me sick that we are force fed this notion that if you don't live to excess then you are deprived. Deprived of what? The latest gadget? A huge house that you can't really afford...and no one wants to clean! ! A brand new luxury car? We are all placing more value on material things than on quality family time or family experiences. It's REALLY disturbing if you think about it! No wonder children don't get the guidance/upbringing they need! We are all too busy shopping and working too many hours to pay for the shopping...
It really makes you think.
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Wow! Thanks for sharing that. I loved reading your list.
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You have a lot to be proud of! Your progress is wonderful and inspirational.