Ask:
Do you ever feel like half the headaches in your life come from poor communication?
I am starting to feel like I should forget decluttering and work on improving my communication skills to make life easier and more enjoyable. Dale Carnegie- here I come.
I am wondering if anyone wants to share any great communication strategies they have to make life simpler.
Any tips?
Answer:
When DH and I (not married) were in seminary, our teacher in Marriage & Family Studies class talked about a communication method he and his wife used. When she (or either of them) said something, he would say "This is what I'm hearing you say" and she would agree if it was right or try to re-explain it to help him understand better. Once he understood, he would say "this is how that makes me feel". Well, maybe in different words. Anyway, he said it DRASTICALLY reduced - almost eliminated - the misunderstandings in their relationship. It grossly opened the vein of communication between them and taught them the value of what they said and how they said it.
Another thing I remember learning: for every bad thing you have to communicate, communicate at least 5 good things. People tend to remember the bad things, so giving a lot of good things will increase the chance of weighing out the bad stuff -- any arguing, frustrations or bad communications will decrease, and one will see the good in themselves or another, prompting more good communication. also, if you have to say something "bad" or "negative", knowing that instead of being showered or berated with more bad stuff, you'll get positive feedback and communication - it will reinforce the simplicity of saying how you feel without dreading the complexity of the crappy consequences of a not-so-nice communication.. am i rambling? i think i'm rambling?