Ask:
This is silly, but I'm nervous and could use a lift up! Today after school I'm taking that little girl to her daycare. I don't know if you guys remember, but this is the one who was a real *winner* (spoiled brat).
I have mapped everything out, and it will add approx. 20 mins. out of my way to get this girl to her daycare. Plus then I'll have to rush home and feed ds, who will be starving. I know, no one made me do this. But now I've committed and I SO regret it.
The mom mentioned $ the first day, and I was trying to be easy on her and I made it less $. NOW I haven't heard anything about what I had proposed ($5 a day). I could use the $, not only in gas but for my running around.
My resentment grew even more when the dad drove up in their new Lexus minivan to pick up their daughter the first day. Hmmmm, did they forget or am I just being taken advantage of because I'm 'available'?
I decided I'm not going to say anything about the $ just yet. If it gets too crazy, I'm giving it until next week, I'll just tell them it wasn't working out and not even mention the $ part. BUT if I do decide to do it, HOW to bring up about the $? I am sort of non-confrontational, but to me putting this in an e-mail to too lily-livered! Should I just come right out and act like it's a business deal, because that's basically what it is. She is not a friend of the family, and judging from the girl's behaviour so far she probably won't be.
Anyway, sorry to ramble. If you could keep me in your thoughts I'd appreciate it. I am really angry at myself now for being nervous about this. Yet I am.
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Don't be so hard on yourself sweetie! We all commit to things sometimes without considering all the factors. I would just play it straight with the mom and bring it up casually. I'd tell her that when you first agreed on the amount that you thought it would be enough, but now that you've started doing it you realized that it's not enough to cover the expense of extra gas and the time it takes you. I would then leave it open and see what she says. She might propose more money than what you wanted. Once you've argeed on how much it's going to be set a day that it's due to you. Say, maybe on Friday once you've completed the work for the week. If you don't feel that they're being fair to you then just go your seperate ways. Just because you're there doesn't mean that you're there for their use, especially if they're not going to respect your needs.
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I agree with waiting until Friday and just act like you assumed you were getting paid and maybe say 'I know I said $5 a day would cover my expenses but do you think $10 would be fair' then explain your costs/time OR do like we do when someone invites themselves on our boat. My husband will mention needing to fill up the gas tank before we go for another ride. If they don't like it then they can find another taxi
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Sending good thoughts your way!
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I would just ask at the end of the week if they intend to pay you weekly or bi-weekly..that way they can't forget that they owe you!! If you want to bump it back up again, ask if they are going to pay you the $50 a week weekly or bi-weekly? (Or whatever the first amount mentioned ended up being for a total week!) Don't mention what you offered at all....and maybe they won't, either!
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I really feel for you. I had a similar situation once and when I had to tell the Mom that it just wasn't working out, my heart was pounding, I was sweating, my hands were shaking, I hadn't slept in 3 nights. Seriously I am so non confrontational but I felt like she was really taking advantage because I was available.
However, once I got it out, and yes she was offended I didn't want to take her perfect child, the relief was incredible. ... It was such a good decision for our family and for my emotional health but it was really hard to tell her.
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The money part is kind of a tough situation because you are the one who called and told her that you didn't want as much as you initially agreed to. Your heart was in the right place and I know you are now regreting your decision, but I don't think you can change that now. If you are truly going to be miserable in this situation, just explain to them that some circumstances have changed and it is going to be impossible for you to keep up with this arrangement (you don't have to tell them why, "it's a personal matter" is sufficiant). Give them a deadline to find someone else and just let it go. Life to short to be that unhappy. Good luck.
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Originally Posted by blessed_with_6
I would just ask at the end of the week if they intend to pay you weekly or bi-weekly..that way they can't forget that they owe you!! If you want to bump it back up again, ask if they are going to pay you the $50 a week weekly or bi-weekly? (Or whatever the first amount mentioned ended up being for a total week!) Don't mention what you offered at all....and maybe they won't, either!
I agree, wait for friday and see if they pay you , if not then ask if they intend to pay you weekly or biweekly . it would be a good way to bring it up.
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I'm in a similar position and wish I could offer some advice. I look at it this way though If you're this worried about it and this miserable about it then you need to think about yourself and your family first. These people will NOT be thinking of you that's for sure. So if its not worth the hassle and the money come right out and say sorry but I can't keep taking your dd because I have other responsibilities and I have to put my family first." I think no matter what you say or how nicely you say it they may still be mad but that's people for you they take advantage of us SAHM and nice people and never think about others. Hope this helps. Let us know what you decide.
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Thanks you all for thinking of me! I don't think I wrote correctly about the $ the first time I posted. The mom had offered me $10 a day. I said, no that's too much. So then I wrote her an e-mail with other info. in it that she responded to, but also wrote in it, how about $5 a day instead of $10. That's when I didn't get any info. I don't want any more than the $5, but I haven't heard anything about even That.
Thanks everyone for your good thoughts. I'm off in a few minutes to pick her up. I'm hoping she is better without her mom around and that it's not too much hassle. I also feel a little 'deceived' because I just naturally assumed I'd walk her in and that would be that. Turns out, I have to key in a code, get in the door with 2 kids, key in another code, then bring her to her teacher. The mom said, "Well if you waaaan't...you can ask the office people to have her teacher come and get her".
Here's hoping this won't be me at the end of the day --------->