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My dh has the notion that I will go back to work when our oldest goes to preschool (this august). WTH! First of all, we have a ds smaller than our dd and I don't believe I'm done having babies. I don't want another right now but I planned on down the road to have another even though he says no now. I think its the financial part and the fact that ds was difficult the first year compared to our dd. Then my mom says "well, when the kids are in school, there's no reason to stay home." I thought she was on my side, well I guess she is in a way, but d***** if I don't feel like its me against the working world. I feel like i always have to prove myself as a sahm and I'm sick of it. Perfect house, perfect attitude, happy stupid smile on my face 24/7, when somedays I don't get anything done but laundry, dishes and food on the table. Does anyone else have this problem, like they need to write out an agenda so people believe you do something at home! Just for once, I would like a pat on the back, instead of what do you do today. Why don't you just put a d*** nanny cam in the house to make sure I'm performing my wifely, motherly duties! Sorry, needed to vent. Thanks girls!
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I feel the exact same way! My dh expects the same thing when our kids (4 yrs. and 2 1/2 years old) get in school. I'm hoping to save up enough money to adopt again, so I don't want to work again and then quit. Plus, most days I just love being home. I get the impression from my dh that our house should be spotless and I should never have a bad day, but get real, life happens. The kids have bad days, the dogs have bad days, and so do I. The "best" part is when I need an evening away. I'm sure you know what I mean. "Why would you need time away, you don't even work!" But, for the most part, its good.
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My dh thinks the same thing and I just let him think it. I have 3-4 years to figure out a way to make a little money from home. Maybe it will be eBay or mystery shopping or who knows what. While he was getting his MBA, I was the full-time sole income for 3 years and it is PAYBACK TIME! He knows better than to inquire of my productivity. I just say, "remember when you were going to school and I was working? well, it's my turn. and by the way, SAHM is equivalent to several full time jobs. you owe me a big paycheck."
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I feel the same sometimes. I especially get this attitude from the parents of the boy I take care of. They seem to think that I have all the time, money, etc. in the world. It's like WTH. I hate when people just assume that your life is perfect and there is no stress or worry because you don't work outside the home.
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Same way here! I've had days when I've worked my behind off to get this house cleaned, to have DH come in and say "What did you do today?" as if all I did was sit around, watch soap operas and eat bon bons! NOT!
He was sick Monday and Tuesday and was home, and made the comment that he wished he had a video camera to set up to see what ds gets in to when he's not here. I told him he didn't need a camera, just watch him for an hour!
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Dh doesnt make me feel this way but I do understand what you meen by proveing yourself to teh world.
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I think my dh thinks when our kids are both in school full time that I will stop the daycare and get a job outside our house either part or full time. Here is a question we should ask our dhs. What do you do when a child is sick? What do you do with them if they get out of school at 3:00 and you work until 5:00? What do you do when they are on Christmas Break, Spring Break, teacher in service day and summer vacation? Does not make any sense to me! I would like to eventualy give up my daycare but I hope to find something I can do from home. Or if I do get a job outside the house it will have to be something with in the kids school system so we have the same hrs/days off. kwim
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I can't imagine ever going back to "work"!!! By the time my youngest is in kindergarten, my oldest will be 21. It won't be too much longer (God willing, it WILL be long enough!) before I might get a grandbaby or two to keep! Plus, at this point, I have kind of earned the right to have some ME time...some pick up the house and it STAY clean time...some volunteer at the kids' schools without having to find a sitter time!!!
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Originally Posted by blessed_with_6
I can't imagine ever going back to "work"!!! By the time my youngest is in kindergarten, my oldest will be 21. It won't be too much longer (God willing, it WILL be long enough!) before I might get a grandbaby or two to keep! Plus, at this point, I have kind of earned the right to have some ME time...some pick up the house and it STAY clean time...some volunteer at the kids' schools without having to find a sitter time!!!
Wow!! You definetly deserve some "ME" time. Including my kids (2) I take care of a total of 5 and I don't know how you do it 24/7. You need your own cheerleader
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Honestly, I just don't think people appreciate how much SAHM's and families go through and do to allow for a mom to be at home. Most families (atleast mine! ) are on a serious budget, to be able to afford this. I sometimes feel like people think we are wealthy because I don't work. Well, we are wealthy,just not in the "money" sense. We sacrifice material things in order to give our kids a better life, we are happy to spend time together as a family and my DH and I want US to raise the kids, no one else.
What you are doing is great, hopefully he will realize it