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My friend is the MOPPETS coordinator for our MOPS group. (Mother's of Preschoolers for those that don't know.) She does not get paid for this position, but the workers do. We have great workers! Most have been with us for quite awhile.
There is one little girl, age 3, whose Mom is super nice and our Crafts person. She is on the Steering Team so is quite a help. Well, this little girl is AWFUL! She spits on the workers, hits the kids, nobody will play with her, timeouts don't work, you name it.
They have told the mom who told them to put her in time out. They do that, but today she complained that her dd was in time out too long. She kept spitting on the workers and kept being put into time out!!! The workers in that room are threatening to quit if something is not done and I don't blame them. They should not continually be spit on by this little girl.
My friend is at wits end. The church we are at is also having issues with this child during their Tuesday morning Bible Studies. The church nursery director suggested putting anther worker in that room just for that child, but we have no extra workers!
My friend is to the point of giving the girl one strike on the next day and then she has to go with Mom. But, then the Mom will keep her with the group and one of the things with MOPS is we get a break from our kids. Today, for example, there were some moms complaining (which I agree with, but did not voice a complaint myself) that too many moms were keeping their kids with them. It was hard to have an adult conversation as there were too many kids. These are children that didn't misbehave, but the moms don't want to leave them. Not due to inadequate care, but due to separation anxiety on the part of mom.
So, any suggestions on what to do? The coordinator has her head in the sand. We also can't address it at our Steering Team meeting since the problem Mom is ON the Steering Team!! It is sort of a Catch 22.
Answer:
Oh man - that's a hard one. Can your friend (since she runs the MOPPETS group) sit down with the Mom and have an honest talk with her about how difficult her daughter is? Assuming the Mom isn't part of the problem, perhaps they can work out some strategies to address the little girl's behavior (and Mom can also be working on her at home).
Personally, I am very sensitive to the fact that my 3 year old son can be a handful, and I know that if he was causing that significant of a problem, I would want to know.
Ultimately, keeping the little girl in that situation without addressing her behavior is unfair not only to her, but to the other kids in the program, the workers, and the Moms in the MOPS group who certainly don't want her disrupting their meeting.
I would be tempted, if all else fails (especially if the mom refuses to address her daughter's behavior), to request that the mom find alternate (one on one) childcare arrangements for her child during the meetings. It's not ideal and it sounds awful, I know, but...
Oh, and the coordinator REALLY should get her head out of the sand on this one. Your friend needs to have leadership back her up if she chooses to speak to the mom.
Answer:
The leader of the moppets should pull the mother over to the side and explain to her that her child is having a difficult time in the playroom. She is just not happy in there and she is treating the workers with no respect. Tell her that the first time she spits on a worker or does something innappropriate she will be sent to the mother.
THEN have a notice mailed to ALL the mothers in the group that if your child is unruley during the meeting please step out into the hallway until your child is behaving. That way it is not just one mother being pointed at. Explain that it is difficult to concentrate and have a conversation when children are being too loud. If people chose not to return then it's their loss.
There is childcare for a reason. So moms can have time away from the kids.
This is what i would do.
Answer:
We have a group... ours is MOMS...and there was a conflicting issue with parents keeping there kids in the meeting with them instead of in the childcare classes. Some Moms thought it should be child free meeting and others did not want to be forced to leave their children and thought it should be a choice. I am not sure if your group charges for the childcare that is offered, but our does. In the end, the MOMS group put in effect a policy that stated that, if the child was over one year, the mother would be charged the $3 childcare fee even if they chose to not use it. This drastically effected the # of children in the meetings, since they had to pay for the care anyway, they used it. BUT...some moms were very offended by this and quit the group. We lost a lot of people that we loved.
Also, we have policies in place that give guidlines for missbehaving children. Example...3 bitings and they are not allow to come back....same with hitting spitting, being mean to teachers...and so on. It sounds strict, but we had a hard time keeping workers before we did this.
Answer:
Originally Posted by 3boysmommy
Also, we have policies in place that give guidlines for missbehaving children. Example...3 bitings and they are not allow to come back....same with hitting spitting, being mean to teachers...and so on. It sounds strict, but we had a hard time keeping workers before we did this.
I think that's a great idea! My sister does childcare for our MOPS meetings and I'm sure she would LOVE to have this kind of policy!!