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I was not expecting to hear what I heard. Megan's teacher didn't say we shouldn't send her to kindergarden but said she thinks it wouldn't hurt her to stay in preschool another year. Her small motor skills, in particular cutting, tracing and puzzles, are lacking. She said that Megan is a very polite and attentive girl and she wants to learn but just needs lots and lots of practice on small motor skills.
DH has been telling me all along that Megan's having trouble and he wishes she were a little younger (she'll be 5 on 6/29) so we could hold her back another year. I didn't really think that .... until last night. I'm not mad, just sad for her. I know she's looking forward to going to kindergarden next year and I don't want her to be sad or hurt BUT more than anything, I don't want her to struggle through school if we send her too early.
So, we have a lot to think about and figure out for her. I guess I just wanted to spill it out and this is the best place to do that.
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I know how heartbreaking it is to your child struggling. My oldest has struggled right from the beginning. In my mind, I sort of knew he wasn't going to be ready for kindergarten and I worried about it, but I did take him to the kindergarten interview anyway just to have the teachers there give me an idea of what they thought. They did suggest we wait another year and for me, it was a huge relief to have another year to work with him. It was the best decision we ever made. I have never heard a parent who has held their child back regret their decision. Big hugs, you actually still have a lot of time before the fall to work with her. Maybe you can find fun ways to work on her small motor skill like working with playdough or practicing cutting everyday.
Just another thing to think about, this seems huge right now, but when it's time for her to go to college, this little year won't matter at all.
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I'm sorry you're disappointed, I would be too...but I know for me, I'd really try to be upbeat and positive about it. Find a fun preK program for her, I'm sure she'll have a blast!
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I WISH I had held back my oldest son AND daughter. Learning wise, my son has always done fine. More than fine, actually. He is in the Gifted Program. BUT, emotionally, he was just not ready. He turned 5 two weeks before school started, and he was still a baby. My daughter, however, did GREAT emotionally, but she has struggled in school always. She is now a senior and FINALLY "getting it". I wish we had held them both back to give them that year of maturing, physically and emotionally. These were my first two kids, though, so I had no idea it was any different than normal. Since then, I have put two more in big school and two more in preschool. I can WAY see the difference in all of them...who all have much later birthdays!
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Well I would give some thought to this. If the ONLY reason they're holding her back is small motor skills, then I probably wouldn't do it. My ds is in the 8th grade and STILL has small motor skills problems. He probably cuts and writes about like a kindergarten student. But that doesn't keep him from making good grades and being on the honor roll. Some children just have motor skill problems but that doesn't mean it affects their intelligence. If your dd was immature or socially not ready, or educationally not ready, then I'd be more inclined to hold her back. But I'm not sure I'd spend another year just so she can learn to cut & paste. You could work on those skills at home, or if the school thinks they're severe enough, they should have her evaluated for OT. JMO
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I was thinking about this...I think you said that it was your daughter's current preschool teacher that you talked with. Maybe go ahead and have her tested at the elementary school where you'd send her and see what they think?
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You don't have to hold her back if you don't want to. You have plenty of time until Fall to work on it with her at home. Art projects are great for fine motor skills, are you doing those at home? Having her cut and trace at home? I wouldn't hold my dd back for that I would just work on (but make it fun, don't be pushy or you will drive her away) it at home!
Art projects especially collages using small things like beans and glueing, you can get preschool sissors anywhere if you don't have them at home, if you can't find then just use child size rounded tip, you can print off tracing or cutting templates at but making them is really easy too! Just get some paper, any kind (I have my dd cut up the old newspapers and magazines) and a sharpie and make curves, dotted lines, etc. She can make pictures with these as well. Stickers and foam stickers are also really good. Make sure she is coloring or writing with a large size pencil (you can find My First Pencil at stores like Staples) at least several times a week. If you have a write and wipe board with dry erase markers that is my dd's favorite over coloring.
Basically, don't be down just think of ways to help her! It's only Feb.1st, you have MONTHS to prepare her! Good Luck!
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I agree with Stacia. You do have a lot of time until then. Has your dd gone to an actual K-screening? I would see what they have to say.
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Thanks everyone for the support and tips. I am going to work with her either way. I wish I didn't have to be at work right now, I wish I could be with her all day and help her more. I think we will still take her for kindergarden testing to see how she does there. I think it's in March or April and I'll work with her, in a fun way (thanks for that tip - I tend to push too much) and we'll see what they say.
Thanks gals
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I'm sorry you're disappointed. I have found that parents need some time to process this kind of information. For some parents, they go through the stages of grief - until they come to the acceptance stage.
There are so many things that students must know before entering kindergarten now. I have never had a parent regret holding a child back, but I have seen parents who regretted not giving their child another year to grow, mature, and learn.
I would go with the recommendation of the preschool teacher. I imagine she is in contact with the kindergarten teacher, and she is aware of what a child needs before successfully entering kindergarten. Ultimately, it is your decision.