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I consider myself a pretty independent person and therefore never have a problem finding things to do and a way to "deal" with my emotional issues. However, this deployment has been a LOT harder on me than I though it would be. Taking into account the fact that its COLD and yucky outside and that DS and I have both been sick and I have a really bad infection in my stomach to deal with, not to mention all my commitments - mom's group, weight loss goals, church, my business, keeping up my house, our cars, taking care of the dog and various other responsibilities, etc; I still feel like I should be handling this better!! I just feel emotionally and physically drained at the end of everyday and I miss my "picker-upper" (aka DH) at the end of the day. I guess I didn't realize how much he really helps me out and how much I am...in a way...*dependant* ( ) on him for support. I know that might sound silly, but I am used to being the "strong one" and to admit that he is basically my rock is new found emotional territory for me! I guess all in all, its a good thing...just still leaves me with the main problem here: I MISS HIM LIKE CRAZY!!
There, I said it!!
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I hope you feel better. Husbands can be a rock and it is hard when they are gone. Mine has never been gone more than 6 weeks it was hard but I hope your time apart will go fast hugs and prayers.
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All I can say is...BIG HUGS. I know what you mean. I always think I am the strong one, independent, but I don't know what I would do without my dh, and I do mean darling!!
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I understand completely.... if you need me just PM me!!
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Originally Posted by southern_belle_mommie
I understand completely.... if you need me just PM me!!
Thank you very much for the support! I know your DH is gone right now too. I just started reading a book today called "Heros at Home" by Ellie Kay. Its a great picker-upper and helps remind me I'm not the only one going through this! I think I might start writing quotes from the book here since its already been a boost for me and I'm only through the first two chapters!
Thanks again ladies! HUGS!
EDITED: I had the wrong title of the book down, sorry! The correct title is: "Heros at Home"
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This is SO hard. My husand isn't gone per se, but it's tax season and he's working LONG hours. I know what you mean about having your dh as your "picker-upper". Mine is too, but this time of year he's so worn out to even talk. He gets home about an hour before I go to bed, and many nights doesn't see the kids. When he does come home, he wants to decompress (read the paper and/or watch TV) and is too tired for anything else. Things are hard for these four months. I miss the talking and having fun that goes on the rest of the year. It feels as if life is on hold for us until April 15th. Do you have close girlfriends you can lean on? I find that the more adult contact I can get from my friends, the better I am all-around. Lots of late/afternoon dinner-time playdates help too, because that's the "tough" time.
I know our situations aren't the same, but just know that I'm thinking of you.
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I can just about imgaine how hard it is.
So far my dh hasn't gotten deployed yet, but he has his yearly training in march and will be gone almost the whole month. When he went last year it was tough. I felt the need to spoil the kids a bit and we probably went to mcdonalds/the park/walmart a few too many times. He is gone this week(for work) and I know its only a week but its werid....he is not home very often, so I thought one week wouldn't be a big deal, but I'm so bored! I guess I'm worried that after he finishes his training this year that they will ship him off somewhere..... Do you have family near-by? I think that would help alot. I didn't and I didn't want to bother friends alot, so mostly it was just me and the kids.
Try and keep your chin up, you can do it!
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My husband travels for work, at least he has been gone a lot here lately. I agree, they are the rock and he is such a help. I lean on my Mom and Dad a lot, which I know drives them crazy. We are over their like every night for dinner. I also go with friends and spend way to much time out. I really do need to be more independant, but I love the adult interaction.
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We're here for you!
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Originally Posted by Kim
This is SO hard. My husand isn't gone per se, but it's tax season and he's working LONG hours. I know what you mean about having your dh as your "picker-upper". Mine is too, but this time of year he's so worn out to even talk. He gets home about an hour before I go to bed, and many nights doesn't see the kids. When he does come home, he wants to decompress (read the paper and/or watch TV) and is too tired for anything else. Things are hard for these four months. I miss the talking and having fun that goes on the rest of the year. It feels as if life is on hold for us until April 15th. Do you have close girlfriends you can lean on? I find that the more adult contact I can get from my friends, the better I am all-around. Lots of late/afternoon dinner-time playdates help too, because that's the "tough" time.
I know our situations aren't the same, but just know that I'm thinking of you.
Thanks Kim, that really means a lot! Yes, I have two other friends who's DHs are both deployed right now as well. One of them has a DS the same age as mine and the other doesn't have kids, but she's someone else "in my boat" so I connect with her to a certain extent. I've also been talking to my family a LOT the last few weeks which is really good because I realized that even though we've had our share of disfunctionalities, I have a wonderful, supportive family - especially my mom - and that's a HUGE help. My dad was in the Navy so she was used to dealing with those 6-9 month deployments when he went out on the Subs and she had three kids to take care of!! So she's really been a huge help and a great resource for emotional support. I also talk to DH as often as possible.
I feel for you Kim and can totally relate. When DH used to work mids, I would hardly ever see him. He wasn't deployed, but he might as well have been. I never saw him and when I did, he was more like a zombie than a man. Once again, that's why I'm just so thankful for this site - you ladies are wonderful! I always feel better after coming here to pour my heart out!