Ask:
I know there are several of you here who are pregnant or who have a young baby. Oftentimes, I don't know what I can do to help my friends/family members. I worry that I'll just be in the way, or that I'll offer to do the wrong thing.
For those of you who are pregnant (or those that remember what it was like), what can family and friends do to help you out? For example, is fixing a meal for your family helpful, or does that make you feel bad? How can they help while you're pregnant? How can they help you right after the birth?
Thanks for any suggestions you may have!
Answer:
After i had my second son the best thing that happend was our church family took turns making us meals for a week. Every night we had a different family bring us dinner...with all the fixings. It was soooooooo wonderful. When i was pregnant i would have loved to have been taken out to lunch or if someone had offered to watch my toddler i would have jumped on it. Even if it was only for an hour.
It's nice of you to be thinking about helping out your friends.
Answer:
We had friends bring us meals for a week after the baby boys came, I thought that was the best present ever. Something easy to heat up because those first few days unless your lucky there is no scheduled meal time.
Answer:
If they have older children, offer to watch them for a couple of hours or for doctor's appts.
Sheila
Answer:
Lunch would have been great. We had a meal brought to us and a couple meals cooked for us, but it would have been great for someone to call to go to lunch, or shopping, or even to garage sales on the weekend. Anything to get some adult time.
I know that may sound selfish, but it's true.
Answer:
Originally Posted by princessabby
Lunch would have been great. We had a meal brought to us and a couple meals cooked for us, but it would have been great for someone to call to go to lunch, or shopping, or even to garage sales on the weekend. Anything to get some adult time.
I know that may sound selfish, but it's true.
No, I don't think that is selfish at all. Thanks for sharing that. I always worry that they wouldn't want to take the baby out.
Answer:
Right after the baby arrives, offer to coordinate meals or just make a meal yourself. I think we threw away at least one whole chicken because everyone kept brining us that - some variety would be nice. So if you can coordinate, it would be nice so they can have a variety of things to eat. The family can just refer people to you who want to bring food.
Also, call before you come over and offer to stop and get something. My SIL was great with this and got us the things we didn't know we would need - bottle nipples, epson salts for my bath, more diapers, candy, bottle sterilizer - she even sent her husband to buy me nipple shields! We were able to avoid having to go out, which was draining.
If you have time during the day, you could also offer to take her to appointments or shopping or to lunch. That first lunch I had out was perfect! And you aren't supposed to drive or pick up heavy things the first two weeks, so a helping hand is nice if DH has to return to work.
When she is pregnant, especially just before the baby comes, pedicures are PERFECT! My feet ended up in a lot of my birth pictures and in each one my feet looked cute! Also, just going out is good too since she will be thinking she won't be able to do that much more once the baby is here!
I hope this helps! Anything you try to do to help will be appreciated either way!
Answer:
OH lord while i was pg it was so nice to have someone just come and sit and talk with me while dh was working. I loved it when mom came over to help me do things that were getting hard for me to do. and now that ds is here it's SO nice to have g-pa or g-ma just stop in to play and i can get a ton of things started or finished while ds is entertained!!!
Answer:
Something else I thought of, and it may just be me, but after I had DD#2 my MIL said if to let her know if there was anything I wanted her to do. I'm the type that won't ask someone to do things for me. I would just assume do them myself then ask since I always felt like I was more of a hassel.
So what I'm getting at...make the offer. Don't expect them to ask you to do things.
Answer:
Meals were awesome after my 2nd son arrived. But I'd suggest taking frozen casseroles or calling to make sure the meal will be eaten that night. You could always call and let themknow you'd really like to do something to help them out and find out what they need the most.
Some might need you to go to walmart and pick up a pack of diapers, some eggs, bread, and milk.