Ask:
My sister, who is now single and has two small children (6 and 2), is constantly complaining that she "needs a break". It really gets to me. She has my mom that helps her out a ton, she has "girls night" at least twice a month. She has a few hours here and there when the "father" does take the kids. Yet nothing is ever enough. She is always wanting more. She says " well, I want someone to take them over night, so I can sleep in the next day after I go out"
She is very very unappreciative. I actually did take the kids for her overnight once, and she still wants more.
With three kids myself, I just can't offer to do this all the time. Plus I really think she asks for way too much. I know when my older two were that age. I just worked and mothered....I knew that with kids that young that was my priority.
I know there is no changing her. It doesn't matter what I say, she will always want more....but should I give in to her?? I really don't want too, but feeling a little guilty if I don't. Should I feel guilty??
Answer:
I know someone just like that . She sleeps tell 1230 every day while her dh takes gets he kids feed and takes the older one to school. Then when her dh getts home the kids become his at night. And she goes out every friday and saturday night until 3am and then sleeps until 3pm every weekend. But she whines to me that she needs a break
Give me a break, that is just rediculous and selfish. SO I would say No dont offer to do anymore for your sister than you want to do. She is a mother and she has to buck up to that responsability. I think we would all love to be able to go out and then sleep in but we are mothers and are children are our priority.
Answer:
She gets more of a break than I do and I'm married!! Some people just like to be a victim.
Answer:
Is she a very young person? I'm only asking because of the going out all the time thing.
Anyway, no you shouldn't be expected to take her kids overnight, you already have your hands full. Wouldn't we all love to sleep in. I haven't done it for years, that's the price of being a mom and being a mom has to be first priority. She needs to accept that.
Answer:
I would DO NOT give in! Tell her to grow up life just doesnt work that way. That makes so mad when I hear there are actually people like that.
Answer:
Originally Posted by treehugger
Is she a very young person?
She is 33.
You would think she would have "grown up" by now.
thanks you guys. I don't feel so guilty for not helping her out more. She is good at that to...trying to make me feel guilty....
That Eleanor Roosevelt quote should be inserted here....can't remember it word for word..."no one can make you feel inferior without your permission" (??)
Answer:
Maybe you need to remind her that married people dont get breaks like that usualy.
my son sees his dad on saturdays and comes home usually sunday before noon. Thats my little break. Also if i needed someone to watch my son, my parents are always willing, but i dont take advantage of it.
Im 31 and rather be home with my son than go out all night.
So dont give in to her. She needs to grow up and raise her kids. She needs to worry about them rather worring about going out.
Answer:
Tell her to strap a set on. This is Motherhood, Lady...It ain't for sissies.
Answer:
Originally Posted by JoeNKatesMom
Tell her to strap a set on. This is Motherhood, Lady...It ain't for sissies.
So true.
My niece (who is married) is like this. She always needs "me" time. Her mom watches her kids more waking hours than I think she does. Sometimes she'll have her mom keep them for the whole wknd or several days even though she just lives about 15 mins away. I've never seen anyone so anxious to get away from their kids. I used to be dying to get rid of my kids when they were little, but then after a few hours, I always wanted them back. I just don't get people who don't like being with their kids. Very self-centered and immature.
Answer:
No, don't feel guilty. You have your family to take care of. She made her family and her life - it's her responsibility. It's also horrible that she talks like this all the time. Gosh, do her kids hear that? I could just imagine how they would feel! Somehow, I have the feeling she owes you more than you owe her. It's also amazing how unsubtle she is. She probably thinks you aren't taking the hints, but it's she who is not taking the hint!0