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I'm not sure if anyone else has heard of this, but some doctor has conventions on raising kids. Well my aunt had taken her teenage son to a therapist and she gave them a cd to listen to. Well the way it works is that when a kid cuts up you say that's one, then that's two then the third time is time out. Well as for my aunt her sending my cousin to time out didn't work, but she sent herself to time out, went to her room and it just drove him nuts. It worked.
Well my three year old daughter it took a while to work. I probably wouldn't have been able to do it without the help of my aunt. I did the counting and when she had to go to time out she wouldn't go or she would get up. So I had to literally sit there holding her for up to an hour and a half the first time, with her kicking and screaming. Hitting me left and right. Well after this time a couple of hours later she was misbehaving again. This time I told her if she didn't stay in time out then I would have to put her in the bathroom. (We were staying with my aunt at the time and she didn't have her own room to mess up) So I put her in the bathroom and she freaked out, for three minutes she stayed until she calmed down. She calmed down and the next time I counted she went straight to time out on the first count, she knew she couldn't stop misbehaving I guess. Well since then when I get to "that's one" she stops what she is doing.
This has been the best thing that could have happened. I have three children all under the age of 5 and with having to yell constantly stop stop stop I said stop I felt like I was losing my mind. Hope this helps, but try to google search the terms and you might find more to it. The CD was almost six hours long so I'm sure I didn't explain everything here.
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There is a book called 123 Magic, it's by Dr. Tim Shannon. The book is very good, and basically the principal behind it is that you teach your child that they have a choice. They can make good choices or bad choices and with those choices comes success or consequence. I have heard Dr. Tim, as he's known locally, speak at a seminar for parents and teachers. The nice thing about this program is that it takes the emotion out of stressful (bad choice) situations. Rather than yelling & screaming you count, and when you get to 3 there's a consequence for the bad choice or "atta boy" for the good choice.
Another good set is the Love & Logic books.
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I ordered 1-2-3 Magic from Amazon last week and am waiting to get it. I'm hoping it will help with my defiant 6 year old.
Honestly, I LOVE the idea of ME going to time out - I'd love to spend 35 minutes in my room alone each time the kids misbehave!
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I love 1-2-3 Magic and it really works. It's for children 2 and older, so my 17 mo isn't ready for it yet. In less than a week we had all back talking and sassing in hand. My boys have learned there is no arguing or negotiations unless I open the option for negotiation up. It's brilliant imo.
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I bought this book not two weeks ago!! We used the program with our oldest child, but I thought a refresher might be nice. I don't have any problems with my three youngest, but with my middle two entering the early teen and preteen years, I had heard that this was a great program to go back to with their "I know it all and YOU know NOTHING" attitudes!!! I'll let you know!!!
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I actually got the book 1-2-3 Magic (this one is by Dr. Thomas W. Phelan) at our library. My dd was about 4-1/2 when I started using it. We still have a ways to go, but using the techniques provided in the book have made such a huge difference for us too! At least now, I don't usually have to drag her into the time out (she goes of her own volition), and I don't have to use the door knob lock to keep her in during the time out (I only had to use it once or twice before she figured out that it was better to stay in her room). There are some days we go without any time outs at all! Those are my favorite days....
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I bought this book but I have yet to find the time to sit down & read it. I've nothing but good so I can't wait to get started.
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A behavioral physcologist started us on it, and it does work. We haven't been as consistant as we need to be, but it still has help tremendously.
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our pediatrician gave the book to us and ive been using it now for a few months
CHANGED MY LIFE ....why? because im not the mean mommy yelling at my 3 year old! now she knows there is a warning and she better stop...i love it and lend it out to my friends.
**caution** two of my friends gave the book back after and while and said "it didnt work for me" well, i watch them and its because they dont follow it to a tee. you cant count and yell at the same time, or count for stupid things or count and explain and lecture. you count and say nothing and thats that. my girlfriend was counting because her son wasnt eating his carrots! my other friend was counting because her daughter wet her pants! now that's a HUGE mistake!
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Originally Posted by Tricia209
I ordered 1-2-3 Magic from Amazon last week and am waiting to get it. I'm hoping it will help with my defiant 6 year old.
Honestly, I LOVE the idea of ME going to time out - I'd love to spend 35 minutes in my room alone each time the kids misbehave!
Well I'll tell you that it was scary because my aunt got so frustrated with her teenage son who is 15 that she was at her wits end, about to call the police and things like that because he was punching holes in her walls and breaking things left and right. Well he thought it was funny, yeah right you're going to send me to time-out thing. Well when he started arguing with her over something she took off to her room and locked the door, he was so frustrated that she wouldn't talk to him he was hitting the walls and banging on the door saying he was sorry. Well after thirty minutes or so when she came out he was calm and so was she. Since then he doesn't argue with her anymore, he goes to school without a fight and doesn't hit the walls anymore.