Ask:
If you have a child that is "Special Needs", but it's not obvious by looking at him/her, do you tell? My son has Aspergers, so looks like others, but only if you watch him would you pick up on the oddities. I am not ashamed of my child at all, and am very proud of him and all that he is. I don't really tell strangers, unless there's a real reason, like if he something happens during his play w/their children which may make them question him.
However, w/the moms at school, sometimes I feel the need to tell them. The school doesn't tell them. Yet, I sometimes want them to know why my son has a special cushion on his chair, why he talks a lot, etc. I want them to encourage their own children to invite him to their parties, include him in their games, etc. They don't understand why my child has to have things "just so" and why he remembers and will remind you if you don't keep your word, and will take it very personally if he perceives something's not fair. I don't want them to just think he's odd. However, in some cases, they are so wrapped up in their own child and friends, they haven't even noticed. It's a fine line. I don't want my son ostracized, but kids are really perceptive.
What do you do?
Answer:
That is really hard - and I understand where you are coming from. My son has verbal apraxia which means he looks just like every other kid, but he doesn't talk like them. I find that a lot of time people assume that because he does not talk at age level he does not understand at age level - which is sooooo not the case. He is smart a whip and knows when you are talking about him!
I only tell people if they ask. There have been a couple of kids in his preschool class that have asked and I just explain that he has trouble making his words sound like our words. The kids seem to understand and that's the end of it with them. But the innocence of kids is so great!
I have yet to offer the information to a parent, but if they ask I don't have a problem explaining our issues.
amy
Answer:
I was just thinking about this over the weekend when we were in the city. I hate to put shirts on but I was thinking a button that says something to the fact that we are parents of an autistic child. Something others can see, maybe read and it explains it all without having to even say a word to us.
Hopefully it would help with the rude comments.
Answer:
This is a really good question!
I have never said anything in front of my ds but when I know people are looking at him funny or if I am wondering if they are even subtly questioning my parenting skills, then when ds is off playing, I'll just quietly say, "He has some special needs". I don't need to say it but I find when I do, I get empathy rather than judgment. I really need to get over what other people think of me, but for now, it's how I manage.
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Only when a situation arises when people are being judgemental. I don't want my child to be labelled and I want her to learn to be appropriate with just verbal cues.
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If i see them looking questioningly,then yes.My son is not bothered by telling others his special needs since i always told him,that's just happens to be his "makeup"and that everyone has a special need or two whether or not they can admit it or not.My son is my world and i have literally chased people down who were ignorant to him so they "could"apologize to him.
Answer:
We don't have an official diagnosis on our dd yet, but i tend to catch myself "covering" for her, especially her anxiety issues, i make excuses for her to others. Sometimes she just gives me that look that says " save me" as if waiting for me to help explain things to others.It's so hard since she is physically an 11yr old child(and already menstrating) yet her mind is not caught up with her body yet and she stands 5'4 and 115lbs. People assume she is older.
Answer:
Country Mouse, the anxiety issue in my son, 6, is a major reason I still have him in therapy. My dh's EAP program covered the first 8 sessions in full, and with this newer diagnosis for anxiety, they are covering for another 8. This is a regular psychotherapist, but she specializes in Aspergers, of which anxiety is a symptom of. Especially since your daughter is entering her "tender" years, it may help.
Answer:
She sees a psycologist for counseling once a month.She also just had her dosage of anxiety meds upped.