Ask:
My daughter will be 4 next month. She has 2 friends from preschool she would like to invite to her party. I would like to have a very simple party. Is it unfair if I don't invite the grandparents? We have invited them in the past but I'm trying to scale it back. Do you invite grandparents? Is this too simple?
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I guess it depends on the relationship with the grandparents...I would invite them if NOT inviting them would cause hurt feelings. How much more would the party cost for 2-4 more people? Kwim? It would also depend on what kind party you're having...
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I'd say it would depend on what type of party. For ds's birthday (he's 5) we invite relatives And friends (and their parents). However for our Halloween party it was just friends and their parents. Could you meet the grandparents at a restaurant honoring the birthday girl instead? I think this is what I'd do if the party was mainly for the birthday girl and her friends.
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Well, it is less about cost and more about drama and keeping things simple. You're right, I guess it more about your relationship and not about what people usually do. I have invited both grandparents in the past. I guess I'm questioning inviting them because for my youngest daughter's birthday in November my parents were a no show. I called them an hour after the party started to ask where they were. My mom said she wasn't feeling well (on her period). She was just too lazy to drive 45 minutes. Long story. On the other side of things, my n-laws are strange. They have a lot of money but my MIL gets them something cheap (dollar store coloring book for birthday & Christmas). My FIL is on pin & needles until the cake is served and then he is out the door. They are too busy for the girls any other time.
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But they are the grandparents. Would your child be hurt and notice if they didn't come? I would also follow up on the invitations, too, to ensure they will be there and on time. I wouldn't worry about the cheap gifts. That's no reason not to invite. I doubt if the kids even notice at this age. Based on the history, I wouldn't worry so much about the grandparents' hurt feelings, but about the kids' feelings.
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My childrens grandparents and great-grandparents as well, are all very close to my kids and I could never NOT invite them. But if theyre not that close, I dont see it as a problem. My dd's friend had a 5th birthday and the mom invited no family and said it was much less stressful. Apparently she told them right out what she was doing and said if they wanted to do a party with her kids they could throw it themselves. I thought that was a little odd, but everyone has their own thing.
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You definately have to invite grandparents. I don't have a close relationship with my mother. But she is invited for my children. I wouldn't even dream of not inviting them if it wasn't for them there wouldn't be your child! They cal always choose not to come if that is the type of relationship you have. But i think the right thing to do is invite them no doubt!
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When my children were very young, we did family bday parties, but then as they got older, they started wanting to do parties with friends. The first few years we did this, I'd let the gparents know we were having a "kids" party and tell them they were welcome to come if they wanted to. They didn't But at least I felt like I'd done the polite thing by inviting them. In later years we didn't even bother inviting them because they were drive-in, or bowling, or sleep over type parties. We'd just see the gparents on a different day and exchange gifts and have cake. I think something different works for everyone. I'd just ask them if they want to come. If they bow out...then oh well.
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Originally Posted by aliadam
When my children were very young, we did family bday parties, but then as they got older, they started wanting to do parties with friends. The first few years we did this, I'd let the gparents know we were having a "kids" party and tell them they were welcome to come if they wanted to. They didn't But at least I felt like I'd done the polite thing by inviting them. In later years we didn't even bother inviting them because they were drive-in, or bowling, or sleep over type parties. We'd just see the gparents on a different day and exchange gifts and have cake. I think something different works for everyone. I'd just ask them if they want to come. If they bow out...then oh well.
That is a good idea. I will tell them it is a kids party and let them decide. I just want my daughter to have fun and enjoy her party.
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We invite Grandparents and Great Grandparents to b-day parties as a courtisey. The Grandparents might show and one set of Great Grandparents might show. I do a small party at home with my nieces, nephews and grandparents and have cupcakes and let my kids open gifts from them at that time. This way, they get to see my kids open the gifts instead of the zoo of opening presents at the big party with friends.