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WOW! never did i imagine that my thread would cause such comotion!!
first and forth most Thanks You Ladies for all the kind words and the support! It really touches me that you all * GET IT* .
My dh and i have been on both sides of the coin- there was a time that we made a really nice living. But we where younger and not so smart with $$ and we didn't save it like we should of. Something really bad happend -dh got really sick and couldn't return to his job long story short we lost everything but our home and our truck. ( we didn't turn it in because we had leased it. But the lease is up in May and we are turning it in and buying something with cash)
Most of our friends didn't understand and maybe they where afraid that it could happen to them because we lost them to.
My dh and i decided that from that point on that we would do what every it took to stay has debt free has we could- no more loans, credit cards no more over spending. It ment changing our life style which wasn't really hard because we had just dropped about 4 tax brackets! !
When we adopted our son ( thru foster care) we both made the decision that i wouldn't work full time. Most likely he will be our only child and we waited a long time for him and i want to be able to spend has much time with him has i can. Besides child care would have taken pretty much everything i made. Long story short here dh did find a new job but it doesn't pay has much nor does it offer insurance we can afford. But for the first time in years he is happy. He enjoys his job, isn't under has much stress and isn't gone all the time. I do work part time during the day while our son is in school and i also work 16 hrs a day every other weekend . ( nursing home) It has been tough, we do without a lot of things that others take for granted. I shop thrift stores, with coupons and garage sales if we don't need it i don't buy it ,we don't go out to eat much nor do we go on vacation. We do qualify for wick and some other programs to help pay our utilities. But we choose not to take them because we are doing okay. We just know our budget and stick to it. ( not that i think that we are better than the people who need the assistance but like i said we are making it so why not save it for those who truly need the help)
Okay Whew.. After saying all this you also must know that we are like the black sheep of everyone we know. Most of our family, friends make way more than us and so we get comments all the time about how * poor* we are. People don't understand that we don't make has much has they do therfor don't have the cash to go and do things with them. Truthfully there are times when i do feel like maybe we are cheating our son out of things. I hear friends talk about how they take their kids here or how they have their kids in this program or that program. At times i do get frustrated because it seems right when i have just enough $$ saved for something something else happens and i have to use it!
I guess the bottom line here is that my friend hit a sore spot with me. I was trying to console her make her feel better and she slams me! I think looking back at our conversation that my friend may be a tad jealous. Beacause i know she wants to stay at home with her dd but her dh and the social pressure that she feels to keep up with the jones won't let her. I know that they could make it just fine- they may have to give up a few trips and eating out all the time but they could do it. Instead of facing her fears and learning to live of of less and giving up things they don't really need it is much easier to make me feel bad. Funny thing i never really consider us * poor* until after talking to her-
I just seen us has maybe having a little less but not having the debt of credit cards, loans etc, not really living one paycheck from * poor*
so again Thank you ladies and Kim for reminding me that the anount of $ you make is truly just a number and doesn't define who you are.
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I just wanted to add that the health insurance or lack of is a big worry for me. Where my dh works it is something like 900 a month ( yes you heard right!) for a family and about 250 for just the employee.
It is almost the same where i work- I have been checking out insurance co to see if one may have a policy that we can afford. Our son is on the medical card ( because he was adopted thru the state) so we just have to go to the free ( they actually base it on your income) clinic when we get sick. Insurance is important to me and i did make sure that we kept our life insurance policies. So hopefully we can find a health insurance carrier soon.
Answer:
I read the other thread and felt the same as most of the others on the board, sorry that your feelings had been hurt. Some people truly don't understand how less money does not have to mean less happiness, and for many of us it actually increases our standard of living and peace of mind. I've also been on both side of the coin and I have to tell you that by living frugally now, my life has improved leaps and bounds. Who knew?
If friends and family get you down sometimes, you always know you have a shoulder (or thousands of shoulders) to lean on here!
Answer:
Sometimes life changes force us to re-evaluate friendships. If this particular friend doesn't get it, try to spend more time with those who do. Having just one friend who understands what you're going through can be a valuable asset.