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I was thinking about this topic last night, and I also just watched the Susie Orman special about women and money. She was talking about how we need to improve our relationship with our money.
Think of your money as an entity. How do you treat it? How well do you KNOW it? This struck me personally. I always felt like my relationship with my money was good. I'm not in debt, and building a nice savings and retirement fund. What else can I do? Well, if you were to ask me where all my funds and savings were allocated, and how much exactly do I have in my retirement account I wouldn't be able to tell you. It turns out I don't know my money as well as I thought I did.
Think about it this way: your money is something to nurture and take care of, just as you would a child. After all, it will probably be taking care of you in your retirement and old age! Your money will help you do the things you want to do, and become the person you want to become. But how many of us don't take the time to know what's going on with our finances? We don't take the time to learn about better ways of investing. We certainly take the time to research preschools, extracurricular activities, and things our kids are involved in. Why don't we take care of our money in the same way? We don't even know where our money is at any given moment.
I realize the child analogy might be a little bit like comparing apples and oranges. After all, a human being is infinitely more valuable than money. However, like with most issues in our lives, the better our relationship with them, the better off they will be. We can't simply sweep financial issues under the rug, put them in a closet, or abdicate our responsibility and hope that they do well and thrive. This goes for money too.
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very well said Kim!! I saw her on The Today show (I think) and heard her talking about this and I totally agree. I think many women have a tendency to think they don't "deserve" money. Like we should be doing something "useful" with it instead of putting it away for a rainy day or retirement. We need to start thinking of ourselves a little more. It's like our health, if we're not healthy we can't take the best care of our family... well if we're not financially secure the same will happen. You may not want to think about it on a daily basis but if something such as divorce, or death of a spouse were to happen were would you be as a mother and sole provider for yourself and/or you children. Her comments have made me realize I really need to start thinking about this. My dh is 15 years older than me and has the triple threat - diabetes, high cholestorel, and high blood pressure. Although well controlled anything could happen and I need to think about my self and my young dd's if he isn't able to work one day.
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Well, I deserve money! I worked too hard not to have it!! lol
But, you are right, Kim. Even with a financial planner, we tend to "pass off" our money in a way.
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I definitely think I deserve money too!!
I am not very money savey though. I know all my expenses and pay all the bills, but investing and that type of thing is beyond me.
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If money were a person, it would have left me by now. Oh, wait, it HAS left me!
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I read the title and thought "We have a love/ hate relationship. I love it, but it hates to stay in my wallet!" .
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Originally Posted by MontseinIL
I think many women have a tendency to think they don't "deserve" money. Like we should be doing something "useful" with it instead of putting it away for a rainy day or retirement. We need to start thinking of ourselves a little more.
I agree and disagree. I disagree... think I deserve money, and think most of my friends think this way too. I just think that maybe we don't invest enough time in getting to know our money and nurture it like we do other things. I agree that we need to start thinking of ourselves a little more. I think that was her point when she said that too often women "put themselves on sale".
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It bothers me a lot to hear friends who don't know a thing about their bills, insurance policies, retirement plans, etc. They let their husbands "handle it all". What happens if he dies suddenly? Granted you can eventually figure out most of it, but think of how much harder it is. Also, there are a LOT of little things that might get overlooked that could benefit you and your children if your husband was to die. For example, a lot of credit cards carry small life insurance policies. Also, when you are flying, if you pay for your flight by American Express, it has a policy specifically for that. There are SO many things that women, especially stay at home moms, tend to just let slide when it comes to finances and money. It is scary. You NEED to be involved with all of the money making decisions in your house..and need to keep up with it, since it can, and at my house does, continually change!
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Originally Posted by Kim
I just think that maybe we don't invest enough time in getting to know our money and nurture it like we do other things.
Nurturing our money ... I like that idea. I read somewhere, years ago, that one way of showing respect to our money is to face your bills all in the same direction in your wallet, with all the 'heads' facing the same way. But I've been doing it ever since.
I like that image of nurturing your money, caring for it like a plant. A plant needs sunshine, good soil, pruning, sometimes a little plant food. Money needs a good place to grow, some time and a good plan. Good analogy!
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Originally Posted by 2bearsmom
I read the title and thought "We have a love/ hate relationship. I love it, but it hates to stay in my wallet!" .
I was gonna write almost the exact same thing
We have a love us and leave us relationship...we love it, and it always leaves us