Ask:
Okay, here's my problem. My dd is in 2nd grade at public school. She is one of those kids that is very smart, loves to learn, she would pick a book over a doll. The problem is, is that she is the very shy sensitive type that doesn't make new friends easily because she is embarrassed to just go up and talk to someone. She made a really good friend last year in 1st grade who is still her friend this year. Last year when the friend came over she told us that another little girl in her class told her not to play with my dd. My dd didn't know why and it was at the end of the year so I didn't worry. This year the little girl is in her class again, but the friend is in the other class. Anyway at the parent teacher conference yesterday the teacher said her only concern was a little shyness but she didn't think it was too bad. Somehow she got on the subject of another little girl that was making a lot of trouble in the class. She said she sat her by my dd because she didn't seem to make trouble with her. She didn't mention any names but I knew immediately it was the girl from last year. I asked if it was her and it was. I told her about what had happened the last year and she said if there were any current problems to let her know and she would move the girl. I asked my dd and she said that she'll just be sitting there doing her work and look up and the little girl will give her mean ugly looks for no reason. My dd's friend from last year came over and I casually asker her if this little girl was still telling her not to play with my dd at recess. She said yes, she tells her not to play with her or talk to her. My dd has no idea why. It makes me wonder who else this little girl is telling this to because my dd hasn't made any new friends at recess. She says no one will play with her except her friend from last year. I don't know if it's because of her shyness or the little girl or a combo of both. I have a call into the teacher, but have not heard back from her.
My other dilema on the subject is that next year the school is changing it to were all the
3rd and 4th graders attend one school, and the 5th and 6th graders go to another school across town and then onto jr. high and high school. There are like 300 kids per grade due to an influx of various migrant workers to the area. This means each year they will be in a class with a different group of kids that they don't know. I just don't know if my dd can handle this with her personality. I am really worried about it. The other problem is that my niece started jr. high this year and says that there are lots of kids up there talking about doing drugs. The high school is a mess. There was a fake bomb threat last week and lots of kids from good families are doing drugs. I do not want my dd going to this jr. high or high school for sure and I am seriously thinking about making the switch next year in the 3rd grade. I think my mind is pretty much made up but I would just like to hear someone elses opinions and thoughts. I think the Christian school here runs about $200-$250.00 a month. The teachers are not certified but I have heard wonderful thinks from some of the parents of kids who attend. The class size is small and there is only one of each class, so it seems like a better setting for a shy sensitive child. I think we could afford it, I just want to do what's best for my dd.
Answer:
I have to admit If I could afford Private school I soo would!! (Tho I do like the school my dd is at now esp since she is at the same Elem I went to!!) my daughter is VERY shy just like yours but this year she has made friends with some GREAT kids Im lucky!! It sounds like the teacher is working with you!! good luck in your des!!
It does sound like this other girl with whom your dd is playing with is a Good kid!! but try not to put her in the middle as it might be harder for her as well!! Im soo sorry your dd is going thru this!! your dd sounds like a wondrful child!!
Answer:
Have you been to look at the private school yet? I would do that ASAP. Call them and ask them for a tour and ask them if you can observe a couple of classes. Will it be a problem to get her in? I think that is the deal of the century if that is what it costs and if I liked it I would do it in a heartbeat. In Atlanta private school is anywhere from $12,000 to $17,000 a year and the admission process is extremely competitive. If you like the school and feel that it will be easier on your dd and your family, I say go for it.
Answer:
If my local school system wasn't meeting my child's needs, private school or homeschooling would be my answer.
I have the opposite problem, my DD is very socially aware and wants to be popular. I'm afraid she'll be influenced to 'do anything' just to get the popularity she craves. In my opinion, the shy kid - who is allowed to remain shy and not pressed to be more social - has a better chance of flying 'under the radar' in a big public school.
Answer:
Hi. I teach 2nd grade and another thing you might want to check into is seeing if the school psychologist could come into the classroom to teach some social skills lessons. In my experience, many times a shy child might not know "how" to make friends without outside help. Your daughter may just need some assistance into learning how to introduce herself or ask to join a group in a game. She may percieve it that she's being left out and therefore doesn't attempt to join in. Also, you might want to check in with the teacher to see if she could suggest a child(ren) from the class that you could organize a playdate with at your home. Sometimes kids will be more outgoing if they're on their own turf and it may break the ice with your daughter and some other little girls. It sounds as though your daughter's teacher is willing to work with you. I'd let her know that this is going on again, and maybe have her get the girls together to talk it out. At least then you'd maybe find out why this child is talking negatively about your child. The girls may even be able to work out whatever their differences are then.
Something else to consider...you mentioned placing your child in a private Christian school. The one thing, I'd look into carefully is the training the teachers have. You said the teachers weren't certified. I'd just want to make sure that the education your child would be receiving would be preparing them for college prep/college entrance exams. I know your daughter has many years to go before that would be an issue, but private schools aren't necessarily held to the same standards that public schools are (good/bad). I'm not saying that private schools are bad in any way, just be sure that there's a ground for the curriculum your child would receive and what is holding the teachers accountable.
Answer:
we are very lucky that the public school my dd goes to is one of the best in our city.they are huge on non bullying and teaching respect and everything, the older kids help the younger kids, and so on. the teachers are really involved and excellent. parents apply to get their kids into this school if they don't live in its district. we are lucky that we moved into the district before dd started school. as for the shyness, what about arranging some playdates with other kids in her class? you can send a note with her to give to them to give to their parents. it would be a way for her to make some new friends.
Answer:
Thanks so much for your replies. I spoke to the teacher earlier and she made me feel so much better. She is such a kind, caring woman. She is unbelievable. She said she would make a move before class on Monday and no one would even know what was going on, not even my dd. She told me that the little girl was doing the same thing to several other little girls and that she had gotten calls from other mothers that this girl was telling other girls not to play with their kids. She said there were other shy girls in her class just like my dd and not to worry she would be fine. She said she would try to suggest to some girls that she thinks would get along good with my dd to invite her to play at recess. My dd just made the spelling bee and she suggested that I invite another little girl that also made it over to study. She said that she saw similarities in them and thought they would get along well. They happened to be good friends in preschool but then grew apart when they were in different classes the next couple of years. She had some good ideas and really helped. I still worry that the school system in our town has gone to pot when it comes to jr.high and high school. Is it this way everywhere, or are we doing something wrong at our schools? I mean the teen pregnancy and drug use rate in the high school is pretty high here. I'm wondering whether to switch to private school now for that reason. I don't want my dd going into jr.high and overhearing 12 year olds talking about drugs.
As for the private school teachers here, I have only heard good things about them. They use the Abeka Curriculum. It's kind of scary wondering though if they just hire anyone off of the street to teach. Even if there are good teachers now, if one quits, they could replace her with a really bad one that doesn't know how to teach. I guess though, we are kind of taking the same chance in public school. There are some teachers that really seem to hate their jobs so their teaching is not that effective. So far we have had wonderful, remarkable teachers.
Answer:
As far as the drugs go--that is in Excellent schools too! I live in Bham,AL and if any of you have ever seen the TV show 2 a days (reality show about a high school football team) That school is VERY prominent! An excellent school to get an education--people go out of their means to live in the area so their kids can go to the school. I know that drugs run RAMPANT at that school and the parents are very blinded to it! ( not my kid kind of attitude) I have developed pics of their so called innocent kids Drinking and doing drugs!! I wouldnt want my kids going to that school for this and other reasons.
I think if you can talk to your kids and keep communication open then these kind of things will be ok. It seems like you have a great daughter. The one friend she has is a real friend! Obviously she doesnt give in to peer pressure and that is the kind of girl I would love my daughter to have as a friend!