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I have mentioned more than once and in more than one place, one of my favorite books...The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
Basically, we all feel loved in more than one way...but there is one way that makes us feel the most loved. He narrows it down to Five of the most popular.
1. Quality Time
2. Receiving Gifts
3. Words of Affirmation
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch
If you are Quality Time (you love for someone to spend time with you) and your dh is Acts of Service (he loves the dishes done, the dinner made, etc..) and that is how each of you feel loved...and you are not doing it for each other....hummm....
Let's say, you are Receiving Gifts (you love flowers, candy, love notes...) and your dh is Phyciscal Touch (hugs, kiss, making love) and you are not showing each other what their Love Language is....hummmm
How about the person who is Words Of Affirmation, the person who loves to hear, how beautiful there are....how they did a great job with cleaning and taking care of the kids, etc...
Which one are you??
Which one is your spouse??
Do you know??
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I forgot to add. When we are not getting the "Love Language" that makes us feel the most loved....our love tank is "empty".
You can vote for more than one option....but please vote 1-5 as your choice and 6-10 what you think your dh/spouse is..
Thank you for participating.
Edit: Let me add one more thing. I put this in the Divorced, Single Parent, Forum instead of the relationship forum, because I lot of members who are thinking of divorce, or recently went through a divorce, or are single parents, could all get help from this. I think it is important to know this infomation so that if we are starting a new relationship, we know exactly what we want out of it and we won't make the same "mistake" twice, so to speak....and please don't take offense to that, I mean that in the nicest way.
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Thank you so much for posting this! I still haven't read the book but your post helped me realize a major issue. My husband is so sweet with what he tells me, he is constantly telling me how much he loves me or what a great mom I am. He is into the words of affirmation so he thinks that's what I want. But just on your previous post, I realized I need acts of service and barely even notice the nice things he says. Here is a good example- I bought my baby the cutest little first birthday hat and the older kids wrecked it before the party. I was very disappointed. The next day at work, even though he was super busy, my dh went out without telling me and spent forever finding a replacement. I thought it was the sweetest thing ever and he really didn't think it was that big of deal.
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You are very welcome!! If I can help just one person/relationship it is worth it to me!!
Now someone needs to notify Gary Chapman about me so that I can get royalties or something... ... just kidding!!
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I am quality time and my dh is words of affirmation. And we both do a pretty good job of making sure the other feels loved all the time!!
It is funny though because we will have a disagreement....which to a words of affirmation person is worse...and I will have to go to him afterwards....and really lay on the sweet talk!!
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Stacey, you still have time not to miss your calling. I think you should look into a counseling degree.
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I love The Five Love Languages, it is such a great book. It makes me want to reread it, now if only I could get DH to read it....
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I love that book!
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Originally Posted by desertmom
Stacey, you still have time not to miss your calling. I think you should look into a counseling degree.
I am assuming you mean that as a compliment....
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Originally Posted by Indymomof3
I love The Five Love Languages, it is such a great book. It makes me want to reread it, now if only I could get DH to read it....
Ah yes!! wouldn't that be great!! I got mine to "skim it". LOL