Ask:
O.K...my son is 7. He is already the man according to my husband.
My son has been getting love letters in the mail. I found this really cute "at first".
Well of coarse I already know how cute and handsome he is but all these little girls are infatuated with him. I do find it very cute because he could care less. He talks about some of them sometime but nothing like he has a crush on them or anything.
He is repeating kindergarden this year again....just to kinda give you a little history on what has been going on and why I am feeling weird about the love letters in the mail.
Last year he had a little crush on this little girl Maya...I found that so cute because here is.... my son....5 years old...short little stocky thing.....totally infatuated with Maya who is about a foot or more taller then my son... jamacian decent...and a spit fire.....I mean she was a little pistol. He came home with picture of him and Maya holding hands with hearts. He did whatever Maya said to do...which is not like my son to listen to anybody. Her parents were so cool...everytime I would see Maya's mom she would make an effort to tell me how much Maya just loves Jacob (my son).
Ok...fast forward...summer comes and I already know Jacob is going to be held back.
He became really attached to his classmates so it was going to be tough.
Well over the summer I start getting little love letters in the mail from another little girl who was in his class...Katie. I though...Oh how cute...! They said I love Jacob...with her phone number address...etc. So at least once every two week for about 3 months I was getting stuff from Kate....who's mom obviously has been mailing to me. I had Jacob write back a few time. I have seen the Mom a few time at the school. Her and her husband are "Doctors"...they are divorced they have their own group so obviously inteligent people...right.
Katie has even gotten Jacob phone number...which Jacob gave her in one of his notes. I though it would be cute if she could maybe call Jacob to say hi....or if her Mother wanted to get the two of them together for a play date. Anyway...big mistake...Katie would call the house at leave messages....like "I love you Jacob" or hang up.
Well when I see the mom she never says anything to me...even if our kids are walking with us...of course Katie is like "hi Jacob". I find this so odd.
I saw her a few months back at the the hospital...we just so happened to be catching the elevator at the same time....still she said nothing to me.....so being me I said Hi, I really enjoy the letter Jacob has been getting in the mail from Katie. She just was like ...oh yeah she really just loves Jacob....and then told me she why she was at the hospital..blah blah blah.....but nothing more about the notes.
Well the notes stopped for a few months and then all of a sudden....another letter in the mail yesterday. It said" A poem for Jacob...Roses are red, violets are blue..and I love you Jacob. Also it said Girls Rule but you are alright with me Jacob I love you...Love Katie. Her mom mailed it to me. I just think it is so weird. Would you keep sending your kids letters in the mail like that...she doesn't even know me. She doesn't even say anything to me about it. I mean...it is cute and the letters will go straight to his baby book but I am just thinking it is all kinda strange.
Should I have Jacob write her back...what should he say...I will feel bad for Katie if she gets no reponse if she is waiting for something back from Jacob. What should I do. He doesn't show any interest in her...she isn't even in his class this year...you would think she would have moved on......I mean Maya did...lol
Help...
Heather
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Personally, I find the whole thing disturbing to say the least!!! My kids have never had anything like that! Especially at that age! I cannot believe the parents would actually mail the letters!
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I don't know what to say. That is strange. Neither of my two have ever gotten a letter in the mail, mailed by their friends or their friends parents. I would not respond, and maybe write return to sender. The little girl won't be upset, as she probably won't see the mail anyway. Then maybe they will take the hint. Especially if the mother won't acknowledge anything about it to you. And if the little girl is upset...that is something her mother is going to have to deal with, not you!!
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That is very wierd to me it would be one thing if the mom actually talked to you!!
my dd's best friend is a boy with whom there are a LOT of little girls who have a crush on him! (they are in 1st grade) well He gets notes home in his backpack quite often!!
He has no interest in any of them he really only has interest in my dd and this other girl with whom they are best firends with!! but his mom thinks its cute!! (The teachers say its like he is the Football or Basket ball star Treatement!! )
be is a great kid as well and makes the kids all laugh etc!! So he has fun. anyhow I would just blow it off!! (thats what his mom does!! )
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O.K...I thought I have been feeling it is strange too. Last year it seemed like a lot of the little girls in his class were really into boys...in kindergarden!
This year the girls seem a lot more calmer. I don't have to deal with all the little notes and invitations to the girls b-day parties. They all hug him and wave to him and all that...which I find normal.
I guess I will just not do anything and maybe the letters will stop. I hope. She has sent about 6 or 7 of them all together and Jacob has only responded one time and that was maybe after the 1st or 2nd letter. You would think the poor little girl would have lost interest.....right.
Heather
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Originally Posted by Happymom
Personally, I find the whole thing disturbing to say the least!!! My kids have never had anything like that! Especially at that age! I cannot believe the parents would actually mail the letters!
I am with Happymom on this one! Weird, I also dont think I would let my ds talk to girls on the phone yet! Too YOUNG!
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I was NEVER allowed to call boys, mail boys, chase boys, especially at that age. My parents simply would NOT allow it. I can't believe her parents are supporting this. I mean, it's one thing for a young girl to say "I Have a boyfriend, his name is Jacob, I love him" and it's another to be obsessive about it and mailing him notes all the time. Like some others have said, it's disturbing. I think the parents of this child need to teach their daughter how to respect herself and not to put herself so out there. What ever happenned to modesty? Or having the boy chase you? Geesh! I feel so old fashioned!
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It does sound a little strange to me...
If I were in the situation, I don't know that I would even give my son the letters at this point. Maybe after absolutely no response, she will stop writing them? I would definately not have him reply to her.
I don't like all this 'boyfriend/girlfriend' stuff at such a young age...yikes.
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I don't like it either. I mean I can see little crushes and stuff this young but geez. My oldest is 13 and I don't even deal with any of this stuff with her yet nor have I ever.
The last two years with my son has been really shocking...to see these little girl so aggressive. It makes me wonder how this is happening. My children even go to a private Catholic School. My girlfriends who have kids in public school are facing the same issues but not to the extreme as getting letter in the mail. It make me think that this mother is not doing her daughter a favor by encouraging this behavior. I can't even imagine how she thinks she is? I know he daughter is an only child with divorced parents...but catering to her like this ....she is asking for big problems down the road!
Heather
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I just saw this thread - I don't know how I missed it. I dealt with this same issue last year when my ds was in PRE-K!!! This little girl in his class kept sending home love letters in his backpack. I would find one every few days for several months. He considered her a friend, but not a girlfriend. Then they started coming in the mail (pictures she drew and little hearts saying x loves x, etc.). Obviously the mom was mailing them. I was so surprised and didn't know what to make of it. I never brought it up and neither did the other mom. I kept thinking she would mention it when I saw her at school or at birthday parties and she never said a word. It was just bizarre. Thank goodness they moved to California at the end of the school year. This year the boys and girls seem to be splitting off into groups and are not into the boyfriend/girlfriend thing yet.