Ask:
My six week old son has slept with us since he was born. I have tried to put him down in his bassinet but he hates it, he will usually wake up within 20 minutes screaming, even for daytime naps. The only place he sleeps without me is in his swing, or his carseat in the car. Lately he has been VERY active at night and I feel I am getting less and less sleep. He is kicking, punching, growling, etc...and I can't sleep with him next to me...I am a very light sleeper.
I need some tips for transitioning him to his bassinet. Do I let him sit there and cry? If I pick him up, and he goes back to sleep, he'll only be asleep for a few minutes at most, and I have repeated this process over and over again. AAArgh! Please help!
Answer:
This is a tough one because every baby is different. Six weeks is to young to do the Cry It Out method, which I oppose anyway. Research has shown it has negative impact on the brain - stress on the vessels.
Anyway, I'd like to suggest you try a book called The No Cry Sleep Solution. It's got different plans/suggestions for different parenting styles and is much more gentle. Baby will cry, but you just don't let it get to a bad point (I don't go over 5 mins, 10 at the most as she gets older). Mine does often fall back asleep after 3 mins or so now. But if she wakes up screaming or crying badly, I go in. She could be sick, teething, or scared. But if it's just a cry cry, I let it go for a few to see if she goes back to sleep.
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When my kids were really little I put a bouncy seat in their cribs and they slept straped into that. Of course once they start rolling you can't do that!
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And it won't hurt them. They will want to get out when they get bigger anyway, as they like to roll around.
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Can you put the bassinet next to your bed for awhile? Then slowly move it farther away, and eventually into his own room?
We slept with our son for the first 2 weeks, then had him in his bassinet in our room for the 3rd week. After that, I wanted at least one of us to sleep well, so we moved the bassinet into his room, which fortunately had a futon. One of us slept on the futon in the room with him until he was 5 or 6 weeks old. By then, he slept really well on his own.
Baby steps are the key, I think. I am a proponent of letting them cry, but within reason. I think it takes time to get to know babies, and you have to know what he's saying when he cries before you can just walk away and shut the door! I let my son cry while falling asleep when he was tiny, but I sat right next to him the whole time, singing, whispering, and stroking him, holding his hands, etc. I wanted him to learn how to fall asleep without being rocked or carried, but wanted to stay with him and help him as he learned. It was a solution I was comfortable with as a parent. You'll figure out some strategy and as long as you feel comfortable with it and are doing your best, I'm sure you'll do great!
PS. Have you read Babywise? I know it's controversial, and I didn't use everything in it nor agree with everything in it, but it helped me get a handle on a routine and I thought it was a pretty good sleep guide for a beginner like myself!
Answer:
I am reading the no-cry sleep solution right now, my sister gave it to me. I just haven't had the time to get that far into it. I haven't heard of the babywise book, I'll have to look into it.
Last night the baby slept in his bassinet for six hours..I had to get up once.(I am sooo excited!) I am trying some different things to get him to fall asleep. I think part of the problem is falling asleep at my breast. He will wake up slightly and expect it to still be there. So I've been trying to rock him to sleep or put him in his swing to fall asleep instead.
Thanks for your suggestions, I can't wait to get my bed back!
Answer:
He's definately too small to cry it out...at least in my opinion. I also have plenty of opinions about 'Babywise' - although I have another name for it...L.OL! Ugh. Everyone is different.
It really depends on the child, but I agree with baby steps. Does he like to be swaddled? Maybe he feels a little bit 'out in the open' in the bassinet and not all cuddled up like he is next to you and that is what wakes him up? It can take a while to get a baby to adjust to a bassinet...my older son just never did and slept in our bed with us til he was about 3 months old. Well he hardly slept, so that's another story! My younger son was sleeping thru the night and in his crib at 6 weeks, it just depends.
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I wish I could help but mine are 4 and 6 and still co-sleep!
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We have a 12 1/2 month old that has a hard time not co-sleeping but I have not had much sleep because I'm always afraid that he's going to fall. The solution that we recently came up with is to take a side off of his convertible crib and butt it up to our bed. The tiny space that there is between the two of them, I tightly tucked a blanket so it becomes an extention to our bed. We are both getting so much more sleep. Now I can just reach over and pat his back and he knows that I am near. It has been a lifesaver! I think sleep deprivation kept me from thinking of this sooner! I now have a child that is not totally glued to me 24/7! We are both much happier and well rested.
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Just a random thought - does your baby have reflux? My little girl did and she too would wake up every 20 mins screaming and would only sleep when she was propped upright - eg in the swing or carseat or in my arms. She was a dream baby until about 4 weeks when she completely transformed. You might want to check this out. Medication can make a huge difference. (Although i would rather my little one was drug free, to let her be 'drug free' at this time would just be torture, for her and me. Not all babies with reflux are spilly by the way- mine was what they call silent reflux, where the acid comes up without the food.