Ask:
I need help here. My in-laws pop into town this time every year without ever asking us about our schedule (one year they showed up with out warning and we were out of state! -and they were mad about it )
Anyway, this year same thing- they announced they were coming this weekend (should be here this afternoon) about a week ago. We already have a full schedule for this weekend- a party Sat at lunch time, then an outing planned with our homeschool group for that afternoon). On Sunday our house is being shown in the afternoon, and we have to be out from 2-5.
I am not feeling like changing our plans to suit them. We have talked to them many times about giving advanced notice, or even asking when they can come (when would be a good time for a visit), but they blithely ignore us and do their own thing.
How can I salvage this situation? I admit I am not feeling too charitable, yet I don't want to be mean spirited just because they are inconsiderate.
How can I simplify future visits?
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I would NOT change my plans. If they only give you that much notice, they shouldn't expect you to. If you always have in the past, maybe this will wake them up this time after seeing just how busy you are!!
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I wouldn't change my plans. And I would be looking up the info for the closest Hotel......ok not really. But that is crazy. What does your dh say about it??
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I agree. My parents actually show up out of the blue w/no warning - one time I was very ill w/ a flu, going through a miscarriage and the house was a disaster. I got a phone call from my dad's cell phone. He is sitting outside, across the street in his minivan w/my stepmother. No warning. He knew I was having a miscarriage, and I think he thought he was helping. Now mind you, I hadn't seen him for three years, as they live across the country.
I've made it very clear that I love seeing them, but having them just show up is too stressful, and that sometimes we go out of town, which would cause them a wasted trip. He says he doesn't want me to have the time to get stressed w/cleaning and shopping - ummm..it doesn't work that way. My sister and brother tell him the same. Now he whines about it, but I stay strong.
Don't change your plans - they are expecting you to kiss their butt and drop all for them. Nope.
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Wow, that would drive me nuts too!
Your hubby needs to make it clear to them...it's not something you should have to handle.
I would not change my plans either.
I guess all you can do is let them know your plans and tell them they need to find someplace to go when you are showing the house. Sounds like they will be hanging out on your sofa while you are out and about. That is unfortunate that they would not want to arrange things better so that you can all have a quality visit!
That's just crazy!
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Don't change your plans, they can tag along with your plans or find something else to do by themselves.
I do second that your DH needs to step up and say something to his folks about how his family runs on schedules and planning and it causes a great deal of trama when they just show up woth little/ no warning.
It used to happen to me growing up... sitting in the kitchen and see a car pulling up the driveway.. great it's grandpa and grandman coming for a visit. it was always a PITA to have them just show up with no warning.
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I would just work them into my current plans. Could they tag along for the party and homeschool outing? Or if it's an adult thing only, they could have some one-on-one time with the kids? And Sun when you have to be out of the house, could you all go out to lunch or to a museum or to visit some other relatives or friends. I wouldn't be nasty about it to them, but I wouldn't cancel all my plans either. I'd just say "this is what we have going on..." and they can tag along if they want. Maybe if they're bored out of their minds, they'll check in advance next time.
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DON'T change your plans. That just sends the message that they can show up whenever they want and you'll cater to their schedule. Instead, put them to work! Have them play with or shuttle your kids where they need to go, or have them help you get your house cleaned up and ready to show. Maybe that will help teach them that life doesn't stop for you when they show up.
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This sound too familiar! My in-laws usually show up when we have no money to spend and a week away from payday. I agree with what everyone has said and definitely give them something to do to help you out. Dont change any plans for sure!Good luck
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Update-
We kept to our schedule this weekend. We went to the party Sat am, and then I went on to the homeschool event ( a curricula fair) while dh visited with the in-laws.
Today, we made plans to go to a really nice park about 45 minutes away to see the azaleas in full bloom. Of course, we invited the in-laws to come with us. They said no. MIL complained that it was too far, too hot, etc. FIL wanted to go, but when he spoke up she totally shrewed him. As far as we know, they spent all afternoon in their camper watching basketball on TV. ICK.