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So two weeks ago we had stepdaughter for the weekend. Later on the night that we took her home she calls up dh and asks if she can go to a birthday party that is happening the next time she is at our house (tomorrow). Dh asks where it is and who it's for but stepdaughter didn't have the invitation yet so she didn't know the details but she just knew it was for a girl on her cheerleading squad. WIthout even talking to me or knowing ALL the details dh says, "I don't see a problem with it." Fast forward to this weekend. She is here with the invitation for this party. We ask stepdaughter what she wants to get this girl and she has NO idea. I have NO idea. I don't even know the girl or the girls parents and this is a swim party at their house. DH should never have agreed to taking her without knowing all details. So last weekend dh's family tells us that they are having an easter party tomorrow, the same time as this party and what does dh do today? He asks the 8 year old stepdaughter if she wants to go to the birthday party or go to the easter with his family. Great, now I'm ticked this 8 year old is in control of what we are doing this saturday and guess what she chose. He says , "well I already told her I would take her." I don't care. He doesn't know these people, it's supposed to storm tomorrow, and I think this was an instance where stepdaughter was invited because she was "part of the squad," more of an acquiantance then a friend. Stepdaughter can't even tell us what this girl is into to give us ideas of what to get for her birthday. SO, am I in the wrong for thinking that DH is the adult, He was wrong in saying she could go and tell her we are going to easter at his family's house instead?
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I deffinately would put your foot down and do the family thing. No 8yo is going to dictate to the family on their plans.
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Kids that young (8) like b.day parties. They really do not know any kid that well at this age.
It is not until the teen years when they do. I do not think your dh is wrong for letting her go. He should have asked you if there were any plans- probably before he told her. (though sounds like the easter party was known after he said yes to her party)
8 yr old kids do not know what to get kids- I am in my 30s with 4 boys and never know what to get there friends for b.day gifts. So I do not think she is in the wrong for not knowing.
Can she go to the party for awhile then go to the easter party?
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I'd cut him some slack... I would just let her go to the party. Personally, this is one battle I would let slide. Its not like she just sprung the party on yall... you've known about it. Yanno? Just try to enjoy your weekend.
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I do not think your dh is wrong for letting her go.
My whole issue is that we don't even know the girls parents, let alone the girl and we are supposed to let her got to a swim party at their house. I don't really feel safe with that and I would feel a bit awkward staying at the party not knowing these people either.
The easter get together is over an hour away so going to both isn't an option. I did tell dh that if she wants to go then we could take her and her mom can pick her up?
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I feel for you girl--I have a 6 yr old sd that I am raising--or living here to babysit--whatever you call it and she runs the shots on everything--if not she does this unreal drama scene -- and she knows what shes doing cause she will just smile this little smile at me when she knows she has her way.
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I would call the parents, or meet them when she's dropped off. I agree w/the others - let her go. The easter party came up AFTER the kid's party idea. So sorry, but there are prior plans. No need to make her suffer. If you don't know the parents, get to know them - are there other parents of invited kids you can call to get a feel for them?
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I feel for you girl--I have a 6 yr old sd that I am raising--or living here to babysit--whatever you call it and she runs the shots on everything--if not she does this unreal drama scene -- and she knows what shes doing cause she will just smile this little smile at me when she knows she has her way.
That's exactly how it is here. DH NEVER wants to tell her no because the world would end. So she gets her way ALL the time.
I just feel like we used to be in 3 different playgroups. We'd get invited to birthday parties ALL the time but we didnt' go unless I was good friends with the parents or my girls really enjoyed playing with their kid. I don't think Stepdaughter needs to go to EVERY birthday party she's invited too just because she was invited.
If you don't know the parents, get to know them - are there other parents of invited kids you can call to get a feel for them?
We don't know ANY of the people that would be there. SHe goes to a VERY large cheerleading company and when you go to watch practices ALL the parents from ALL squads (like 20 squads) are in the same small room watching. You don't know who is with who. We never met any of the parents from her squad in the times we went to watch.
Are parent's even supposed to stay at these parties? She's 8 years old.
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Personally, if I want to stay at the party, like in your situation, a private home, grownups you don't know, etc., I would. If you got comfortable you could always leave. You can always ask about that when the RSVP is done. And you're right - there is no need to go to every one, but at this age, going to the "right" ones is starting to get important.
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I'm a step-mom and I truly think you're off base on this one. The kid did what she was supposed to do - ask permission. Hubby did what he was supposed to do - handle the relationship with his child. He even said he'd take her to the party. I just don't see how this is anything to get bent out of shape about. You could always go visit the in-laws later - or dad could drive his daughter to the party and you and the other child could go to the in-laws.