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This may get a little harsh....but here goes....
First, unless you are in a courtroom wearing a robe, you shouldn't be judging anybody. And nobody should be judging you!!
Second, I saw a few comments about people with nice cars parked in front of a discount store, and such...
Well, here is a story for you....
I used to work in a very Ritzy Condominium in Boca Raton (South Florida). These are the rich people from New York, New Jersey, England....etc... They all owned a condo, and probably 75% of them didn't live there all year round. Driving Jaguars, BMW's, Hummers, etc...
And let me tell you, the majority of them...we very stingy with their money. Always looking for discounts....they even had a "flower guy" that would drive out with his car and sell them roses out of his trunk for $12 per TWO dozen. They weren't going to the fancy expensive Florist for their flowers....and that is just one example.
Around Christmas time....a few of the residents would give us employees a "bonus" or "tip"....and you know what, most of the tips were $5. One of the housekeepers or concierges was extremely offended by this....well, with all of their money they MUST be able to afford more than that right??
Well, my response to her was....how do you think they got so rich?? By not handing out their money, that's how.
Just had to get that off of my chest. I feel better now.
It is not having what you want, it is wanting what you have.
And be happy about it.
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Originally Posted by Bucsnpats
It is not having what you want, it is wanting what you have.
And be happy about it.
EXACTLY!! My Ds wears TCP clothes, Old Navy, Carters and Gap. People ASSUME that we have money. NOT HARDLY! I buy them at Goodwill and thrift stores. They're better quality. However, for every 1 piece of "brand name" item he wears he has 5 from Walmart or somewhere like that.We drive a 2004 mini van with 40,000 miles on it, Rich? Paid off? NOPE, luckily we pay the payments to someone privately and they don't mind if they are a little late. I go to a salon to get my hair done and people think I have money to burn....burn? No, it was a CHIRSTMAS gift, and the ONLY one I asked for or got from Dh. Know what I gave him? A 6lb 14 oz baby boy just in time for the holidays, we didn't buy for each other because we didn't have a lot of money. We don't always make our bills, sometimes they're late. But we are HAPPY. The way I see it is someone will ALWAYS be the Joneses to someone else. I figure until I walk a mile in someone elses shoes, I'm better off not assuming what or how they are. Can't judge a book by it's cover, and the movie is never like the book (meaning someone else telling me about their "Joneses" may not be the way it really is, it's just their opinion and perspective).
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Ok I by no means meant to upset so many by the car comment. I was just pointing out that no one should feel inferior to someone else based off of possessions because you don't know how they live. Many Americans do not live within their means however. I once saw that something like 70% of Americans if they lose their income are one month away from being homeless because they don't have any savings or a plan in place. No one is better than anyone else. We all get dressed one leg at a time and wipe our bottoms the same way.
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Couldn't have said it better myself!
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Originally Posted by deemom
Ok I by no means meant to upset so many by the car comment. I was just pointing out that no one should feel inferior to someone else based off of possessions because you don't know how they live. Many Americans do not live within their means however. I once saw that something like 70% of Americans if they lose their income are one month away from being homeless because they don't have any savings or a plan in place. No one is better than anyone else. We all get dressed one leg at a time and wipe our bottoms the same way.
lol... Not offended here... just vocalizing my point of view
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Originally Posted by deemom
Ok I by no means meant to upset so many by the car comment. I was just pointing out that no one should feel inferior to someone else based off of possessions because you don't know how they live. Many Americans do not live within their means however. I once saw that something like 70% of Americans if they lose their income are one month away from being homeless because they don't have any savings or a plan in place. No one is better than anyone else. We all get dressed one leg at a time and wipe our bottoms the same way.
I wasn't upset...not at all.
I used to be so caught up in what everyone else thinks. And I am finally after 34 years, changing my way of thinking.
And I was only pointing out that you just never know the reason that someone is doing something. Shopping, living, whatever....that is all.
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I certainly didn't mean to start a war. I try to live simple so I guess it was a different world for me. They are nice people and they have a lovely home.
People sometimes make assumptions because we water and snow ski. My husband works at the resort so we get free lift tickets. We have a 1995 Mastercraft that is paid for. We don't usually take vacations because we spend our time at the local resort and our local stretch of water on our boat.
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These are good comments and a good reminder not to judge anyone based on external appearances. What really matters is what type of person you are.
That said, I think judging is human nature; people do it all the time whether they should or not. I've noticed that the assumptions/judgements go both ways, regardless of income. I hate to see people jump to the conclusion that if you have a new car or nice house you're in debt. I might get flamed here, but sometimes I think the people that have "less" material wealth are sometimes quicker to judge the "rich" for what they have rather than the other way around. (This is my own personal experience from what I've seen others do, not necessarily from what I've seen on the boards).
If you have money, you deserve to enjoy it. And if you don't, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
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Originally Posted by Kim
That said, I think judging is human nature; people do it all the time whether they should or not.
I think many times people judge to protect themselves, in this case from emotional pain. From feeling inept, inferior, etc. It's human instinct to protect yourself and sometimes we confuse that with reality even though we know better. Just an idea . . .
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Originally Posted by AyeOhKay
I think many times people judge to protect themselves, in this case from emotional pain. From feeling inept, inferior, etc. It's human instinct to protect yourself and sometimes we confuse that with reality even though we know better. Just an idea . . .
I agree. I also think it is human nature to compare ourselves to others, and if we don't stack up, we come up with reason to explain why (real or imagined). It helps us deal with the inner conflict of somehow falling short of our own expectations.