Ask:
Did anyone see Oprah yesterday? It was all about who is happy; why and why not. I found it very interesting. Oprah pointed out that it has to come from within, and doesn't have much to do with the world or circumstances that surround you. While the focus of the show wasn't money-related, it raises the point that no amount of money can make you happy if you can't find happiness within yourself. Or, on the flip side, you can be extremely happy without all the "material" success.
It also brought up a new term: "Destination Addiction." Certain people tell themselves "I'll be happy when __________." It could be "...when I lose 25 pounds," ".... when I get out of debt," or ".... when I have a bigger house." The point is, when you're chasing those things outside of yourself as a means to be happy, you never will be. You'll just find a new "destination" to define your happiness.
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Wow that is so poinent for me. I've been 'depressed' for a few months now. I 've been in a wierd funk, and I think that has alot to do with it. I actually said to my husband yesterday, "I don't want to be one of those people who NEED/WANT all those things, but I want a nicer house, blah blah" And I was crying because it feels like there is never a light at the end of the tunnel. My house is a MESS and needs so many renovations.
But the true question is, will I truley be happy once we are out of debt and the renovations are finnally made?? Maybe. Maybe not. I guess I need to learn that within myself.
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I did not see Oprah, but I do believe 100% that money does not buy love and happiness. And that you DO have to make yourself happy first before you can make anyone else happy. And you do have to love yourself first and foremost.
I used to be one of those "destination addicts". I hate to repeat myself, but thanks to a lot of things recently I am changing my outlook on my life, and life in general. My blog being the BEST thing that has happened to me. When I was going through my divorce, I started to look within, but never really finished.....until recently.
Here is a story from my past....before I dedided to get a divorce, I was trying to "make myself happy" by changing different things...one being, I will be happy if I just had a bay window in my living room.
Well, I will NEVER forget the feeling I had when I pulled in the driveway the day that the bay window was installed.
I just stood in the yard, stared at it...and said "Well, that didn't make me happy".
I think that was a huge turning point in my life. And recent events have made everything come full circle.
That bay window was installed seven years ago. It has been a long road, with more ups than downs, and I have been very blessed with my current DH and my new house and new baby. But bottom line. I am happy with myself. For probably the first time in my life, and it has nothing to do with money.
Not that I have never been happy.....but I think I just have the "total package" now, being happy with myself, not caring what others think about me, and so on.
Very good thread!!
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I didn't see Oprah at all... and more money would ALWAYS be nice. ( I don't know of anyone who would say "more money ~ No Thank You".) But I agree that it has to come from within yourself.
I have had a LONG journey to end up where I'm at, and though I hate to say it, my environment played a HUGE part in it. Ultimately ~ I feel have enough money to keep me happy. It's not a lot by some standards, and it's way too little by others, but for me it's enough and that's what counts. Now I don't know if DH would agree, but I have reached that point ~ I have found my balance. Will it change? Probably. But for now I am going to bask in the glory of being content (before it goes away again )
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I know I will be happier when my renovations are DONE!! That will mean more time with my husband and my house will be functional.
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I'm one of those who keeps thinking that I will be happier if I lose weight. Now...with that said, I will be happier with my appearance and my health when that is done, but I need to be happy with myself right now the way I am. I struggle with that daily and have to remind myself constantly that I am more than a number on the scale or tag.
Matt and I go to work, come home, take care of the kids and household chores, then go to bed. Just to get up and do it all again the next day. I just told him last night that we don't really live. We just manage life. I want to start living and show our children how to live and enjoy life and all it has to offer.
Now I just have to figure out what to do to actually accomplish that. Spin-off?
Anyway, thank you for pointing this out, Kim. It is thought-provoking and inspirational.
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Originally Posted by skimommy
I know I will be happier when my renovations are DONE!! That will mean more time with my husband and my house will be functional.
I can relate to this, as I just posted this week that I can't wait for tax season to be over so dh will be home more. However, that is the wrong way to be thinking! We all need to claim our own happiness today, not wait for something (renovations, tax season) to be over. When we do this, we deny ourselves the opportunity to be happy right now. I'm going to put this into practice in my own life a little bit more when I start to get down on dh not being home very much.
I have really been thinking about this today, and wrote about it in my blog today:
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JeannetteDavis:
Unfortunately most of us live like this. As adults someone has to work to bring in money to pay bills. There is always cleaning to do, it never ends. Dh pointed out that the dishes and cleaning the kitchen can wait until after the girls go to bed. Gives me precious extra minutes with them. Kids just want attention and to be shown love. Little things add up. We turn the tv off during supper and each person says 3 things about their day. Go out and play with them, run through the sprinkler when it warms up. Are their places you can all go on the weekends like a park, zoo, library. When our kids grow up they aren't going to remember if they had Gap or Gymboree clothes, they will remember the time we spent with them. My mom was a wonderful mother but she spent alot of time on the couch reading books while we played. I wait to read until they go to sleep and get down on the floor and play with them. Go on hikes, bike rides, fly a kite, read books together.
Great idea for another thread by the way.
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Deemom,
We try to spend quality time at home with our children everyday, but I think that we could do better. When it warms up, there are some things we can do around us, so that will be nice. I just don't want to have them grown and gone and think, "I wish I would have....." I'm sure that there will be plenty of those, but want to start now trying to eliminate some of them.
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I admit, my dh and I sometimes run into the problem, thinking once we are out of debt, we will be happier. While that may be true, that is not the way to look at things. We really need to work and making sure we are happy with what we have. I constantly think to myself how happy I am because I have a healthy child. I read to many terrible stories about a very sick child or even worse, losing a child.