Ask:
This is what our pediatrician said to us on Friday concerning ds. I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything that happened.
He said, "I don't want to alarm you but I think there is something wrong with ____ on a much deeper brain level then what we're just seeing with his coordination issues. I'd like him to have a psycho-educational assessment within the next 3 months to see what's going on." This was after 2 hours of testing. All the information he was saying to me was new so I didn't think of any questions until afterwards.
Has anyone ever had this?
What is it they are looking for?
Everything was put into perspective as we were leaving and the receptionist told the doctor, "You oncology patient is here." and this little boy who couldn't have been more than 3. So sad.
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I know I'm that way sometimes, where I think later of all the things I should have said or asked but wasn't able to think of at the time. If it's really bothering you then I think it's perfectly okay to call and say "After I got home I started wondering exactly what we'll be testing for. I know you can't give me a diagnosis until testing is done, but what types of things are you looking for?"
Without that knowledge I wouldn't begin to know what to tell you. I don't know what type of coordination issues your child has, or how old he is. Is your son lagging behind also in language or word recognition or tracking things with his eyes?
So I would just call and ask what he was looking for. And you're right...oncology at 3 years old does put it in perspective. But you have a right to be worried too. HTH
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Please, please don't be afraid to ask these questions of the Dr. In my opinion, he didn't word it very sensitively, and he really needed to tell you what he meant. It is like pulling teeth, but do call and do ask until you get an answer you CAN wrap your mind around. There's just no info in your post for us, who have been through this, can even guess about. There are so many things I could throw out there, but it could mean anything. Please let us know. It's the not knowing that is the scariest. In April's Parenting magazine, there is a short article about a mom who felt relieved when she finally received a diagnosis, because it meant that there was a name and her child could get help. That's exactly how I felt. I would have loved to have been proven wrong, that my child was normal, but how would the embarrassing situations and my constantly having to grit my teeth been explained? I always blamed myself. The mom said she had to teach her son how to hug her. I had to do that w/my son. He gives me "fish lips", playing around, any time I want a kiss. His hugs are not normal. You know how when you pick up your child, they automatically wrap their legs around you? Mine didn't, no matter how much I tried to teach him to. This mom was getting her son help at age 2. In spite of my concerns, ds' ped though I was wrong to worry; my son was just energetic. How I wish I'd known where else to go for answers. How I wish I'd been able to get him help at that age - the earlier, the better.
Do keep and open mind, and prepare to do research on your own, but first, get some answers. Ask him what symptoms are leading to his concern. What possibilities are in his mind? YOU ARE THE CUSTOMER, and you are just beginning to be your child's advocate. Be prepared to always be strong and have to force answers out, if needed. Also, be prepared to seek out other parents facing the same challenges. It took me a long time to find an Aspergers group, and yet I found one right in my own community. What a relief! I actually cried the first day I was privvy to their emails. Here were other parents who dealt with what I dealt with! I'm still guaging it, because one member warned me there were a lot of "woe is me" parents on there who feel cheated by God. I don't feel cheated. I love my son! Do I wish he was normal? Wellll, yes. But I would never give him back. I think we as humans have been challenged with finding our and our children's way. Rather than sit and stew, I am trying to do things to help my son. AND, not only him, but others that come after (which is why I'm on my bullying box).
Keep positive - through knowing, you can find solutions, understanding and help. Stay with us, and keep us in the loop. We're here if you need us. As always, you know how to pm me.
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Don't be to worried...never know when doctor is over reacting. Poor Coordination in itself is not that serious. What are the coordination issues? How old is your child? Is your child delayed in other ways (speech, skills, etc)? Sorry so noisy...was a teacher.
Jen
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Thanks so much for all of your responses.
Here is a bit of our story.
My ds is 8. He reads well. His vocabulary is advanced. He speaks well but almost too well. He's been speaking like a grown up since he was about 4. But .... he has trouble with coordination. He can't run, climb do actions to a song but he walks normally. He can't throw a ball properly or catch a ball. He can't tie his shoes or do buttons. He can't print at all. His letters just look like 'chicken scratches.' He has a typewriter (an Alphasmart Neo - I love this thing) that he uses in school. Up until now our family doctor, his teacher, and the new pediatrician thought his issues were just coordination. They said he has Developmental Coordination Disorder which means that his brain doesn't send the proper message to his hand to do what it wants to do. But now after testing the pediatrician thinks it's something at a 'much deeper brain level" and they want him to see a child psychiatrist (or is it psychologist?) who can measure his IQ and his production and see if there are any significant gaps.
The words he was saying made sense but I have no idea what they all mean. He gave us a list of doctors to do this test and then he will go over the results once we have them.
I even asked him if he had something specific they were looking for but I don't think he wanted to say. He just said, "I'm not a betting man but if I were I'd put a wager on this one that he was what I think he has." I then asked him directly what he thinks he has and he just said, let's do all the testing first and we'll find out exactly what's going on.
Hope this helps.
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Sorry he left you hanging like that. When do you go back?
Thoughts and prayers are with to get to the bottom of it so you can move forward.
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So he has a coordination issue. No big deal He sounds very intelligent. I see the worse case scenario being he needs to be allowed to use computers and type writers to complete school work instead of writing....which technically his school will have to allow him to do if he has the need. And maybe he will never be able to be in sports...again no big deal. In this tech age he can have access to anything he may need. It could be worse.
I would have it evaluated more but not make a big deal of it. You could tell him that the testing is so he can get to use a computer instead of writing at school.
One thing I would consider is to have him also tested for Muscular Dystrophy just to make sure that the coordination issue is not due to that...which can be slowed with medication.
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See what I mean? Someone mentioned MD. To me, it doesn't sound like that. My son has coordination difficulties/delays, is very intelligent, can't tie shoes, etc. He has Aspergers. I really would push him to tell you what he thinks, because bottom line, he didn't give you much to go on. Aspergers can be dealt with. I wouldn't worry. It's one day at a time, and you will find tools you need to take care of your child.