Ask:
DH finally got out of active duty, but joined reserves. I have mentioned before that he will be getting deployed in the soon months to come.
Let me start by saying that I fully support him, and i am very proud of what he is doing. I stuck through the way too frequent deployments in AD, and i will through this as well. So here is where i get pissy.
He is away for two weeks of training right now. They have been training from 1 in the afternoon until 9 at night. Well, after they get off, they all go out together, and stay out until early morning hours. This bugs me a bit, but i figure that if he is going to be deploying with these guys then he should "bond" with them. So for the most part he is responsibility free.
In the meantime, I am having to handle everything at home all by myself. We are financially messed up because his job won't pay him until he gets back home, and he won't get paid for training until May 15th, so I am scraping and making the most out of leftovers for the kids and I. He has his govt. travel card to use, so he is eating huge meals out for every meal. So last night he called and actually complained that the chinese that he ordered wasn't as good as he had hoped!!!! GGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!! AT this point I would kill for something yummy, and he wants to call and gripe! It really drives me crazy.
I know that he is training, and that he doesn't really want to be there, but it is just like a party for him. I am the one that has to handle all of the responsibilities and the upset kids and money and EVERYTHING else (not to mention that i can't even use the bathroom without someone banging on the door). It just frustrates me, I love my kids, and being able to stay home with them, but i would love to go away for a weekend and eat out the whole time and go out with friends.
Ahhhh, there I feel a bit better now. sigh
edited to say: they are having a family day this weekend that DH had invited me to come to. Then this morning he called to say that he spoke to one of his buddies that was stationed in korea with him and he lives two hours from where dh is training. SO....now his buddy is coming too, which means i get to be des. driver this weekend......and to top it off, he is going to be staying in the hotel with us????? boo hoo
Answer:
I understand your frustration. I too would be frustrated. AND if you are asking for opinions, mine is that there is NO NEED for added bonding time if he is already spending eight hours a day with these people and soon will be deployed with them. I would think that in the limited time he has left with you all, he would WANT to spend it with you and make up for the time he will be away. It doesn't make you needy or selfish or unsupportive to ask him to spend more time at home. I would be demanding the same thing. I do support my dh. I am very proud of what he does and how patriotic he is, but I married a man who would love me too....and if we started a family together than he needs to also be a father to his children and husband to me.
If that sounds familiar to you, you may just want to voice some of your frustrations and ask him to consider your side of the coin. Sometimes it only needs to be said in order for things to change.
((HUGS))
Answer:
It isn't really time that we would be spending together.......they are training a few hours from home, so he is having to stay there for two week anyway, but still???!!!
Answer:
Umm My husband would get the look for inviting his friend and he is staying in the motel with you? Sharing your room? or have his own?
There is a reason I always say us wives deserve a TDY weekend!
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I am a AD navy wife. We have 3 little girls. I would be furious! Even though he is away he needs to be thinking of you guys. Is he using the gov card and the home spending money? Don't know when he is deploying but they really should have a better way to help reserve get by.
Why did he go AD to reserve only to deploy? geez
My other thing.. what is wrong with you hubby? The guy in the same room? Really?? The other guy should have his own gov card to get his own room!! GEEZZZ
How have you brought this up to hubby? I mean you are not being irrational at all asking to have him with you guys and not having some other guy in the middle.
Some guys just need a serious smack on the head!!!
Answer:
You have every right to be mad!!!!
He would be hurt if you withheld your affections right?!
Can not believe he invited buddy to share room- that is so wrong.
He is enjoying FratBoy lifestyle right now but reality will set in after he deploys.
You may want to remind him...
you will be the one packing his CARE packages, not his buddy.
come on- admit it you smiled
PM me if you need to vent or swear.
My DH is thoughtless and forgetful too but he has a Dr's excuse.