Ask:
how do/did you all deal with the different rules at the other parents house? at my house there are totally different....wait, there are rules at my house and not at his fathers....i get stressed. like yesterday, my son is with me all day on sundays, i had the ceiling fans on and he was on my bed jumping on it(only for a sec before i put a stop to it) and he was trying to touch the ceiling fan. i proceded to tell him that thats not safe to be reaching for the fan like that and he told me to turn it off so he could touch it(hes not even close to reaching it tho)...i then told him that he is never to touch the fans, he says well i do at my daddys....he lets me turn them on and off....in which i say, well thats not very safe since fans can hurt you. the hour after i pick him up each day, i can see its hard for him to adjust at my house when i dont let him do things that hes "allowed" to do at his fathers. i just wish that the rules were remotely close so i wouldnt have to argue with him everyday to get him to understand that some of the things that hes allowed to do there arent safe or allowed to be done at my house.
Answer:
That is a hard one.
Mine are 12 and almost 15 and it is hard for them to adjust when coming back home. We try to keep things the same, but we don't.
The thing that IRRITATES me the most, is at their Dad's the have free reign of the kitchen and all of the food in it. So then they come back here....and think they can eat everything in one day....and I am like..."that needs to last at least a week guys". Like snacks for lunches, etc.... Drives me nuts!!!
And they don't have to do any chores at their Dad's house..no dishes, taking out trash....I (WE) are the big meanies....LOL.
Drives me nuts...did I say that???
Answer:
This is huge issue for us too with my Grandson!! I don't think he has alot of rules at his dad's house. He is in charge there. He is also the only child around (he is 2.5)!! He comes here and jumps on the beds, goes outside when he wants to and cries and screams if he does not get everything he wants. It is very hard to deal with!!!
Answer:
It is SO HARD and unless the parents are on the same page, you will always feel frustrated. I know...ours was the 'rule' house. We are interested in being SS parents, not his friend, but his mom has no rules she thinks it's more important that he likes her. Luckily he is old enough that now when he comes to visit, he understands we have rules and they are not meant to be broken. But when he was younger...it was very, very....very hard.
Answer:
I have the exact same problem with my 3 year old. It used to take him a few days to adjust to being back home, but we stood firm to the rules and explained to him that some things were okay at Daddy's, but they weren't okay anywhere else. He finally got it. Now when he gets home from a visit to Daddy's, he takes one or two hours to play quietly in his room, and then at bedtime, he tries not to go to sleep, but overall, he is doing better.
He's been doing this since he was an infant. Keep plugging away and let him know your expectations, and stay firm. If you cave, he'll come to expect it.
Good luck.