Ask:
I am ashamed to admit this, but because dh and I have never 100% agreed - nor really 50% agreed - on where the kids would go, we have not gotten our wills in order. It is shameful, I know, and has caused me much stress over the years.
Well, we have compromised and come to a decision. So, I called and set up an appointment last week for as early as possible. We are leaving in a bit and I am nervous he will change his mind when we are there. Now that it is decided I just want it all done and taken care of until circumstances change and we can revisit it then. Hopefully, they won't change as that would entail family members dying on us!
So, wish me luck and if I can do it, so can all of you, too! While we are there, we are getting the whole shebang done! Power of attorney, living wills, trusts, you name it, it will be done!
Answer:
Way to go!
I confess too. We just got our done in March. I'm 36 and my kids are 6 & 8. We waited far too long. It is such a relief to have things in order.
I'm proud of you!
(On a side note Claire, yesterday in church our sermon was on the gift of confrontation and our Pastor asked us to think of a situation where someone gave us a gift by confronting us and it changed our life for the better. The first thing that came to my mind was you way back when confronting me on my obsession with money & saving - see my blog for details if anyone doesn't know what I'm talking about - I just wanted to say thank-you for that gift. It really has changed my life for the better.)
Answer:
Way to go. I'm glad that you are getting it fixed. It will definitely be a relief to you. I was just telling dh the other day we need to get ours done before the baby comes just in case. I want to be the one to decide who gets our child. Its important to me.
Answer:
Good for you, Claire. It is really hard to figure out guardianship, because sometimes the answer isn't clear-cut. However, it's better that you determine who watches over your kids instead of the courts, who usually determine those things based on financial ability to care rather than who would be the best "parent".
Hopefully you've inspired some other moms out there to get THEIR wills done!
Answer:
Yay!!! Good for you!! My dh and I have talked about this since before my oldest was born (she will be 21 in June!) and still have not done any thing!! I know we need to!
Answer:
Keep in mind that each individual has a will. Married couples don't have to agree.
If you go first, your husband is the one who will get sole custody of the children (or the biological parent in the case of step-families). If he goes first, you will get sole custody. Once he has passed away, you can re-write your will to suggest guardianship of the children to whomever you want. He can do the same.
If both of you should go at the same time, the court can evaluation both of the parties each of you has recommended. At the time that you pass away, it is possible that one or both of the people on your list may not even be able to do the job - or may be unwilling.
We have always set-up our wills so the children's financial resources are kept in trust and the trustee is someone who ISN'T the the children's guardian. That keeps lots of family members involved.
Answer:
We still haven't done anything either (16 & 14) because we never had an "ideal" solution to who took the kids. So now I'm sort of to the praying part of at least getting my older child mature enough to care for the younger....not smart I know. But since both of our sets of parents are dead (we thought they'd be too old even when they were alive) and none of our siblings again "ideal" we just didn't know what to do. Good luck with your decision and hopefully you won't have to use it!
Answer:
Dh made a will up on some computer program he has. We just have to have it notorized. Ds is 8 and its not done yet. But we did ask the people we would want as gaurdians.
Answer:
I admit, we need to have ours done too...We know who will become guardian for our children, and they have accepted, but we have some issues with other family members that can potentially become a problem if God Forbid anything happend to DH and I, and it isn't clear cut and legally binding.
Good luck today!
Answer:
We need to get this done too. We have a hard time deciding who. My parents are seperated - so neither of them since they haven't seen each other and it would make it difficult between the two. We don't agree with the parenting style of my brother and SIL - but they could financially do it and have the space for her. My MIL and FIL could finacially do it, but they have a very small house and live pretty far away from everyone else. My SIL and future BIL are ideal because we like their parenting style, but may not be able to financially do it (should we even ask them?). So far it is my MIL and FIL, but I would love for it to be the SIL but I am kind of scared to ask... I know I shouldn't be though. I have to find a lawyer to do it too!