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okay a little background first, I coach my daughters and nieces softball team and on the days that we have a game I have been asking my older sister ( the mother of my niece ) to watch my 2 year old daughter at the ball park. Well I have started to notce that Isabell would give me a hard time of wanting to stay with me but I just brushed it off to her being a 2 year old and sending her with my sister. Well last Friday at my sons baseball game and Isabell were walking to the consession stand and a lady asked me if she could talk to me, ( I know this lady but really only from the ball park ) and I said sure well she tells me that she didnt want to tell me this because she was afraid that it would cause problems but that she just couldnt not tell me anymore. She tells me that she always notice how nice we talk to Isabell and that she felt we would want to know if someone were being mean and I said of course and then she tells me, Your sister is so ugly to Isabell when she has her and that she has heard her on several occcasions talk to her very harsh and that she has seen her jerk her by the arm of the stands before. ( she says this is what made her tell me ) I was sick to my stomach. I couldnt believe this! I tell the lady thank you very much I am SO GLAD you told me. I think that things cant get worse so I go to my friend and telll her the story and she looks at me and says yeah I have heard her a couple of times be harsh to her. I was so upset and heart broken! I asked my friend why she didnt tell me and she says because she is my sister and she didnt want to cause family problems! I am horrified and feel like a horrible mom for not knowing something is wrong! I would never allow anyone to treat Isabell this way. My parents raised us with screams and slaps and I have always swore that my kids will not grow up that way, My hubby and I both agree that if you cant talk calmly to walk away until you can. The hardest part is that Isabell is so soft hearted and not at all a problem kid so I know she did nothing to deserve it. I am so heartbroken and dont know what I should do. I am afraid if I say something to her I am gonna lose it and really go off on her.
Answer:
Wow that is really hard for you. Perhaps the best thing for now, is to just step back from coaching until you can find someone you can trust to watch your dd. And I would also say you really need to have a chat with your older sister of course, but do it while the kids aren't around. I hope things work out for you.
Answer:
Can you just keep Isabell in the dugout with you? If your sister asks why just tell her that you have heard that she has problems dealing with a 2 yr old.
I do wonder though, how your sisters kids are treated?
Answer:
Originally Posted by Missystuy
Wow that is really hard for you. Perhaps the best thing for now, is to just step back from coaching until you can find someone you can trust to watch your dd. And I would also say you really need to have a chat with your older sister of course, but do it while the kids aren't around. I hope things work out for you.
I think that this is the hardest part for me, My hubby can gladly watch her during our games but my sister was doing it because she offered. ( I thought it was because she wanted to spend time with Isabell ) I think this bothers me because I feel like I put her in that situation with my sister needlessly.
Answer:
Keep your cool, think about what to say, and then you can talk to her. Maybe she needs some lessons from you on how to handle a child. Thank goodness that YOU, the parent, are the gentle one. You can apologize to your daughter for not knowing - you did trust this adult - a sister should be trusted, for heaven's sake! Does your sister have children? Telling her not to do something is probably not enough - she has to be told what to do, instead, especially if there were no good role models growing up. What you've done is what I had to do - make it up myself, knowing I didn't want to raise my kids the same way.
Kids are amazing, aren't they? The other day my 20 mo. old was playing with a 2 year old who kept sticking her finger in dd's face, frowning and saying no. The mom was a nanny to a little boy who was only 15 mos. old and looked so unhappy. You know where the little girl got her action - from repeat showings.
Answer:
Don't beat yourself up over it. You wouldn't knowingly put your dd in harms way, you just didn't know what was going on. Have your dh watch her. When your sister asks sit down with her away from all children and say something like "I know you like to spend time with your niece and I appreciate your offer to help watch her. But it has come to my attention that yours and my parenting styles are different. I didn't like the way I was raised by our parents so I swore I would treat my children differently. I have been told you have lost your patience with her, said harsh things, and have jerked on her arm. If you have had a hard time keeping calm around my dd then you should have just told me, and I would have made other arrangements".
Try and be nonconfrontational about it even though if my sister did this I would want to scream at her.