Ask:
Ok, this is weird, but I found out several years ago that DH has a half-sibling. I know I worry too much, but I really worry that this person will show up some time looking for answers and I would rather know who he is first.
DH's method to deal with this is avoidance. He doesn't like his mother, and finding out this information hasn't changed that - especially since we found out the information from family friends and it has never ever been discussed in the family.
I have no desire to meet this person, I just want to know who he is - where he is, etc. Is that wrong?
Answer:
I don't know if I would say it is "wrong", but any search really needs to come from your dh. Whether he admits it or not, I am sure there is a lot of emotional issues dealing with this news, his ongoing problems with his mother, the possibility of meeting his sibling and being rejected, etc.
The only advice I can give you on the subject, as an adoptee myself, is to remember that this is a PERSON with feelings and fears surrounding his adoption just like yourself. He may be thinking on the other side, "Suppose my brother is a murderer?" That may be a bit extreme, but he probably has as many, if not more, questions than you or dh do. I don't know the details, nor do I need to, that is just one of many thoughts I think about sometimes when I think of my birth family.
Answer:
I don't think it is wrong wanting to know more..
When I was 15 I found out I had a half sister and brother. My dad was married before. This was a hush hush thing in our family. One day my aunt slilpped and said something and got me wondering.. My mom did tell me once I confronted her.. The years went by and my best friend came over and she had a college class with a girl who had the same exact picture of me and told her that she was my sister.. My friend didn't know any of this.. The next week I call out sick and went ot school to meet her. It was nice to meet her, But I felt dis appointed for some reason..
I found out she lived one town over from my parents her dad.[ she hasn't seen him for years]Worked at a local resturant that my parents went to..
I'm not sure how the divoirce went or custody battle went, but she is an adult! She is old enough to be my mom and to think all these years she never made contact with her father??
As far as my step brother I have never meet him and he moved back here a few years ago.. Would like to see him..
I just feel a bit bitter towards them..
Curiousity gets the best of us all the time! Do a people search?
Answer:
I have a half brother somewhere in MN (or at least that's where he was born) I know that my dad and his girlfriend (he wanted to marry her and proposed to her but her family wouldn't have it) had the baby here in St. Cloud in 1970. I know that she placed him up for adoption and that's about all I know. I do know the mom's name.
I really wish I knew him.....I feel like a piece is missing, I know my dad feels the same way but he won't pursue it because I think he feels really guilty (he wanted to adopt him but wasn't able to back then).
If anyone knows how to figure it out.....let me know!