Ask:
I have never been in this situation before...
I went on a job interview yesterday, and was hired. The job is unbelievable--great pay, great benefits, etc. I will be making more than DH for the first time. Anyone ever been in this situation? We are trying to decide if he should stay home and I should go back to work... I think he doesnt like this--the idea that I am 'worth more'... any experience with this?
Answer:
Well, I'm not married anymore, but when I was I ALWAYS made more money than my ex. He didn't like it and would've loved to quit working, but he is a bum and wouldn't be a SAHD, just a bum not working.
If it works for the both of you, then go for it. Isn't it a great feeling to make good money, more than a man!!? hee hee hee
Answer:
Yep I make more than my dh. I never rub it in his face though.
I always know if he ups and leaves me (which I know he wouldnt) that I can support myself and my son and be able to live and pay rent / bills alone! I was never dependent on anyone to support me (only my parents when I was young, of course) but I prefer to be financially set - just in case.
As for you, take the job!
Answer:
When DH and I first got married, I was making twice what he was making...it was really a nonissue for us. I think it just depends on the people involved and how they handle things like that. Just like now, I'm not bringing any money into the household, it's a nonissue.
Answer:
DH has always made considerably more than me and its always been fine with the both of us. I would always joke around when I would get a small raise that one day I would be making more than him and he was all for it. Bring it on, he'd always say. Its always been "our" money since the day we got married. It's never mattered who made it or who made how much.
By the way, LexiKatiesMom -- big, BIG congrats on the job offer!! Woo hoo for you!
Answer:
My dh would be so happy!!! It has never been his money or my money. It is always our money, so it does not really matter who makes it!!! If you guys decide it would be better for him to stay home with the girls then that is great!! If that is not for you guys and you send them to daycare, that is great too!!! You just have to do what you feel is best for your family!!
Congrats on the job offer!!
Answer:
I have never been in this situation (I was a teacher before I started staying home and we all know what that pay is like ) but I think my dh would be loving it too. Shoot, money is money and it all goes in the same pot, so who really cares which one of you is bringing more in? I think it sounds like a fabulous opportunity for you and if you think you will enjoy it you should take it. Don't feel guilty for being paid well!!!!! I think I remember that y'all are really young - sorry if I am confusing you with someone else - so just gently remind your dh that he has a lot of years ahead of him to increase his salary. My dh's salary has more than tripled since we married 10 years ago!
Answer:
I've always made more than DH, but it's not a matter of me being "worth more" than him. Maybe my skillset is in greater demand, but in the long run it's OUR money, for OUR future, so it doesn't matter in the least.
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DH and I have been married for almost 15 years, and up until a couple of years ago, I made more than him. Sometimes is was just $1-2 an hour, but sometimes it was fairly considerable. Neither one of us thought much about it, until we started looking at me being a SAHM. God worked it out so that, right when I wanted to SAH, DH started making a lot more than I was.
Answer:
When my husband and I were first married he was still in college and I just finished grad school so I was definitely bringing home more money than him. We lived that way for 2 1/2 years. Even now my rate of pay per hour is higher but we made about the same amount last year because of his OT and commissions.
I agree with what many of the other ladies have said, it is OUR money, not mine, not his. I don't think it has ever bothered him. I hope to quit working at the end of the year and I'll have to force my self not feel bothered by him making the money.
I'm sure your husband will be able to get over any hard feelings when he sees how your family will benefit. Way to go on getting the job!