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DD gets lazy...plain and simple, she just gets lazy about tidying up her room. I know we all do, none of us really like to clean, but it has to be done. She's 5, will turn 6 in July. Is it too much to ask her to pick her stuff up and be sure her bed can actually be slept in that evening? She'll sit on the couch, act pathetic and say.."but I need your help" in the most pathetic voice I have ever heard! I don't mind helping, but her idea of help is for her to sit on her bed while I do all the work. Uh..NO!! So I tell her if she can't pick up her room, then she can't go outside and will continue to lose priviledges if she can't take care of her things. She just doesn't seem to care, or throws nasty attitude the rest of the day. I also hate the idea of her not getting outside to get exercise, so I don't know what to do. I'm frustrated with her, and I'm frustrated with having to clean every single room of this house every single day by myself, only to start all over again the next day!
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Okay, so the good thing is being stuck alone in her room having to do something not very fun is NOT your child's favorite activity. Believe it or not, there are kids who would take being sent to their room to clean it as a nice break from the rest of the family.
I have a DD of the same age. I eventually taught her to have fun while cleaning her room. She goes in there, turns up the music on her CD player and dances while she cleans. Sometimes, if I have time, I'll go in there to sit on the bed to 'help' while she cleans. Most of the time she gets so into cleaning that I am not allowed into her room so she can surprise me with how good it looks. Of course I make a really big deal on the wonderful job she did.
If not being allowed outside to play is a punishment even you can't stand, then don't make it her punishment. Think of something else. I've been known to approach DD's room while making a big racket with a plastic garbage bag. Trust me, it only takes one or two times of me cleaning her room the way I like for her to get the hint that maybe she should beat me to her room and do it herself.
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I don't think 5 is too young to help pick up her room. My dd, also 5, picks up her toys each night before bed. A few times she refused and I grabbed a large bag and began picking them up myself. I told her that the toys I pick up will go into a "time out" since she didn't want to pick up her toys. It was amazing how fast she moved to get to toys before me. I put those I did get to in a time out for a week and then gave them back. She now always picks up her room because she's afraid I'll come with the garbage bag again. It worked for me! Good luck!
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I just spent 2 full days and a half on dsd's room, she is told to clean and DH checks it says it looks great and lets her watch her tv. I tell him shes stuffing it and he doesn't listen, so Fri I went in to get her flip flops cause I was going to wash them all, and there was things everywhere--I noticed something she had wore that I didn't remember washing and ther was so many clothes dirty with stains--new stuff!!!--stuffed in her drawers--2 loads full to be exact--then there was paper and cany stuffed too--I got out 2 33 gallon trash bags of just papers and trash! Then took 4 loads of big stuff to the storage building--DH is upset cause I moved her table and fish tank out--it has no fish! And its just taking up space! I was so mad--so I told her no tv! he says maybe in a week she can have it back. I told her 1 day for every hour it took me to get up the mess! He says I am rediculous! But I still have my dd's cell phone and have for 2 weeks for back talking and he doesn't think this is unfair!
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I don't stress about their rooms anymore. They understand that if they want clean clothes they better get them in the dirty clothes basket to get washed. As long as I don't have to look at the mess, it's their living space! One rule we do have though, is they can't have 'free time' on video games until cleaning, homework and reading are all done for the week. That helps a lot. Oh, if they leave their toys out in MY living space, they go in a box; I don't put them away! They're welcome to take them out of the box as long as they get put away. About once a month they'll get a warning that whatever is left in the box is going to the thrift store (yes, I follow through with that as painful as it is!) Gosh, I'm mean!
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Is it possible she is overwhelmed and doesn't really know how to do it? Perhaps making up a chart of which steps to do first, second, third would do. That way she has a guide and can do all the steps at once or have it broken down into different periods.
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I could have typed your post myself. I have found the we get ourselves into downward spirals here. They get lazy, I yell, they get discouraged and do less, I take away things that I don't want to and then we are all depressed. Today was like that, except w/ homework. We were all just to tired and had done to much. I find that if I can get into a good frame of mind and offer incentives (we have a good boy bag of goodies), that they love to do work and feel good about it. It's hard though and I often feel just like you do.
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Originally Posted by desertmom
Is it possible she is overwhelmed and doesn't really know how to do it? Perhaps making up a chart of which steps to do first, second, third would do. That way she has a guide and can do all the steps at once or have it broken down into different periods.
I agree. I think if the room is a full blown disaster area at this point...she needs some help.