Ask:
How do you keep from yelling when :
your child is just doodling and not doing the homework that is in front of them
the bus is coming down the road and your child "forgot" to put on their shoes, even though he knows you need shoes every single day of your life
you've asked your child to get in their pjs for the 100th time and they are still jumping on the bed naked
your child looks you straight in the face and makes up a complete lie about something stupid
your child questions every single request you give them
your child curls his nose up at each and every dinner, even the things you know he likes
when your child does his work half arsed just to get it done and you know they can do better when they try
How do you stop from feeling guilty when you do yell to much in one day
Answer:
I once read a phrase that said 'when a child is crabby, put 'em in water' I think it holds true for ANY human
getcha a bubble bath goin' (((big ol' hugs)))
Answer:
It's tough. I told Daughter that she was teaching me to yell, since she wasn't responding when I asked nicely. She eventually understood it and things got easier. Homework is her own - she gets one reminder from us. Good luck!
Answer:
Well I haven't kept from yelling would be the simple answer. I have always regretted that I'm not more like my mother who I do not ever remember yelling at me A SINGLE TIME!!! But...sigh...I can be a yeller. The two things I've found about that though are that
#1 It doesn't really work on children who have distractibility problems to yell at them. While some of it may be able to be controlled by learning coping techniques, much of it the child can't help. So it's sort of like yelling at a diabetic child. Other strategies work much better than yelling. and #2 when I'm yelling it's usually because I'm frustrated and anxious myself and allowing their behavior to affect me. The one time I did find myself yelling a lot was after my mother died (a year after my dad) and I was so depressed and just generally irritable and short tempered. My internist put me on an anti depressant for a while and it really helped that. So now I try to remind myself if I find myself yelling that it's probably me that needs to change my strategy. Yelling just doesn't help. HTH
Answer:
I do agree with aliadam but I am a yeller also and completely understand where u are coming from. I was forced to learn to let go and let the kids learn their natural consecences.
homework not done- grounded for one week, walk to school bus with shoes in hand,even if it's raining, do halfars work get proper grade for it, don't want your dinner then go hungry.
remember some days are worse than others. this sounds like a bad day. big hugs.
allgirls
Answer:
I hate when i yell or as i call it my angry voice. It is something that i am working on. Some days are better then others.
I do apologize to my boys though when i've had a bad day and have yelled way too much. I let them know it's not ok and that i am sorry.
Answer:
One thing I have found with my child who has organizational skill problems is to make a list. The night before put tomorrow's clothes in a pile including shoes, backpack by the door etc. If they don't like supper let them make a p.b. and j sandwich. Also you don't have to play into this. I've found that one of my kids actually thinks it's sort of funny when mom gets upset. Just keep your voice calm and when you feel like yelling just take a "time out". Come back when you have calmed down a bit. This is something I'm working on to. It does get easier but everyone has off days. Also if your child is really not listening maybe some consequences?
Answer:
Originally Posted by aliadam
Well I haven't kept from yelling would be the simple answer. I have always regretted that I'm not more like my mother who I do not ever remember yelling at me A SINGLE TIME!!! But...sigh...I can be a yeller. The two things I've found about that though are that
#1 It doesn't really work on children who have distractibility problems to yell at them. While some of it may be able to be controlled by learning coping techniques, much of it the child can't help. So it's sort of like yelling at a diabetic child. Other strategies work much better than yelling. and #2 when I'm yelling it's usually because I'm frustrated and anxious myself and allowing their behavior to affect me. The one time I did find myself yelling a lot was after my mother died (a year after my dad) and I was so depressed and just generally irritable and short tempered. My internist put me on an anti depressant for a while and it really helped that. So now I try to remind myself if I find myself yelling that it's probably me that needs to change my strategy. Yelling just doesn't help. HTH
This is it exactly and after all is said and done, I know I was wrong because he probably can't help it. I did say I was sorry and that I thought we were both just really tired. Ya know the part that is such a bummer, we see each other when we are both at our most tired. The days that I have them home, the whole day is great until just before dinner when we all need to rest. But on school days, that's where our day together begins. Also, it's the time that everything needs to be done at the same time. I have to try to give myself a time out (I feel like there isn't time for one ) and try to plan things better so that I don't feel rushed and I can sit and enjoy my boys when they get home. It's awful, I miss them all day long, I love when they are here, then I yell at them because they make my eyes twirl (just sometimes, not always).
Answer:
Originally Posted by blessedwith3boys
One thing I have found with my child who has organizational skill problems is to make a list. The night before put tomorrow's clothes in a pile including shoes, backpack by the door etc. If they don't like supper let them make a p.b. and j sandwich. Also you don't have to play into this. I've found that one of my kids actually thinks it's sort of funny when mom gets upset. Just keep your voice calm and when you feel like yelling just take a "time out". Come back when you have calmed down a bit. This is something I'm working on to. It does get easier but everyone has off days. Also if your child is really not listening maybe some consequences?
I used to make lists and it worked really good. I'm not sure why I stopped. I'll start doing that again. I do lay out their cloths the night before, that helps a ton. I don't know about letting them make a pb&j sandwich if they didn't like dinner. My little guy would eat pb&j every single day if I let him. He's just going through one of those phases and using dinner as his battle ground.
All in all, I need to get things going in a more positive direction again and learn to not focus on every single thing, picking my battles so to speak.
Answer:
Originally Posted by SwampWitch
It's tough. I told Daughter that she was teaching me to yell, since she wasn't responding when I asked nicely. She eventually understood it and things got easier. Homework is her own - she gets one reminder from us. Good luck!
My son has concentration problems. For some reason he does well on his homework if I am sitting right there. The minute I walk away, it turns to garbage. So when I check and see that I get really frustrated and often errase the bad parts and make him do those again. It becomes a downward spiral. His grades aren't great anyway. I don't want to let him hand in garbage so that he fails. We are currently having him evaluated and I hope that he will be able to get some extra help in school. I'm having a hard time getting it through to him that his homework grade ends up on his report card and that decides whether he moves to the next grade or not. He doesn't get that at all. He's only in first grade. I just want him to do his best, but all he wants to do is be done so he can play. Honestly, I wish I could just send him to play too. It breaks my heart to have him sit in the house on a nice day, especially after having a full day of it at school.