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My DH was in scouts growing up. He advanced to the rank of Eagle Scout - it is an achivement that he is very proud of. He would love nothing more than to have a son of his own to be involved in scouts with but we will never have any kids of our own. I am going to be 42, and my tubes are tied. I suggested that he get involved with the local troop anyway, he has sooo much to offer I think he would be a great role model and mentor for young boys. I wish my son had someone like him when he was in scouts - his dad felt scouting was "gay" and wanted nothing to do with it. Anyway DH would like to get involved but won't unless he has a son that is in it. Apparently 3 boys in his troop were molested by a leader when they were 9 yrs old. DH is worried that parents will question his motives for wanting to get involved in scouts. I can see his point but I felt that if he made sure he was never alone with the boys he would be ok... he disagrees.
So here is a 35yr old ex eagle scout who is a local self employed business man, born raised and lived his whole life in the same small town, active in his church, avid outdoorsman... has no children of his own but has been a wonderful stepfather to my kids... how would you feel if he asked to get involved in your sons scout troop?
My opinion is biased so I thought I should ask you ladies. It will not hurt my feelings if you would be uncomfortable with this so please be honest.
Thanks
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I think he is cwwwwwwazzzzy! Also, scouts gay? Oh brother - what a small mind! Quite the opposite. It teaches so many good things! Shows the ignorance, huh?
Anyway, I think it would be WONDERFUL for him and the kids. My son is in cub scouts, and I may be naive, but I wouldn't question it. So many parents have a hard time making the meetings and doing things w/the kids. Perhaps there's even a kid who wants to join, but doesn't have an available parent to do things with. There are plenty of moms who do our cub scouts, but dads, too. However, in my case, because of little diva, if dad isn't in town, it's too hard for me to take him as she is high maintenance. I'd say, do it! He can always quit if it's not comfortable or doesn't work, but he will never succeed and enjoy what he doesn't try!
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I think it would be great!!!!! I would not question it at all.
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I think it would be great too I am so sick of society convincing men that if they are involved with kids in any way...other than their own...that they are sick, perverted, molesters or worse.
I have seen this at parks. For example 2 teen boys were playing on the play structure at my local park and they talked to the little kids and even helped them hide on the playstructure during hide an seek (Hey hide behing me)...they were obviously just boys having fun and letting their inner kid out. All of us parents were within 10 feet of our kids. When the boys left a grandmother who was there told me how uncomfortable they made her feel...keep in mind they were teens playing on the playground. I kindly told her to give it up they were just kids being kids. A few other families left as well because the teens were just playing. I think we need to work as a society to value teen and adult men and stop assuming just because they interact with a child that they are weird or perverted. There are to many great guys and fathers out there.
Jen
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I think he should do it. I know I would have loved to have his help when my son was in scouts. His father works so much that it was hard for him to do any of the activities with him. So I would go, but of course I had to take my younger son with us. It just was a mess!! I know I wasn't the only one with the same problem. We never got to go on any of the camping trips, because youngest ds was still a baby and too young to go. And I know our society is scared, and there is good reason to be, there are bad guys out there! But your dh is wanting to help, and I think that is admirable!
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step father, father, I don't think it matters... he needs to give himself more credit. It sounds like he's a great dad to your children, I don't think it makes a difference whether it's biological or not.
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I have 2 boys- older 9 yr. old in Scouts, younger one to follow when he is eligible next year (but right now tags along as an unofficial member). Our charter (maybe this is a Scout-wide rule?) is that NO Scout activities will take place unless 2 adults are present, to avoid an inappropriate scenario. Our group follows this rule ALWAYS - I have sometimes been asked to stay by Scout leader (a den member's dad) instead of dropping off if no other adult is present. A hard and fast rule that shoud reassure your DH. His experience would be greatly appreciated - just last meeting we were searching high and low for a previous Scout memeber to interview (a badge requirement), so I say go for it!
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One more thing, our Scout charter requires a background (CORI) check on ALL adults involved in Scouts, as an additional safeguard...No CORI, no helping...
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Honestly? Unless I really 'knew' him as you do or a relative, I wouldn't be crazy about the idea at all.