Ask:
I just got an email from my in-laws...they are on our emergency list for school.(we don't have a phone). Anyway, the principal at my ds's school called them... my on asked a girl to show him her boobs. I don't have any idea where this is coming from. I have been contacted by his teacher,too. He is doing all sorts of goofy things in class(ie.burping,disrupting,ect). I have had a talk with him about how he should act in school.You know... not doing these disrupting things. He has been flipping his pencil and hit a kid in the face with it. This has been going on since spring break. This is not his first trip to the principal's office. What do I do? I am at my wis end. He is only 6. I don't want him to be labled a trouble maker. Help. I feel like crying and did when I saw the email.
Answer:
Have a heart to heart with him and ask him why he acting that way? Do some of his classmates act the same way but do it in a quiet manner so they don't get caught? Ask him where he is learning the behavior? It could be that older and younger kids have recess at the same time and he is learning it from them or maybe he saw it in a tv show, a movie or overheard some older cousins or friends older siblings talking like this.
Is he trying to get attention? Ask his teacher to emphasize the positive and ignore as much of the negative as possible. Some kids are wired to be happy with any attention they get negative or positive. If he is sort of being a class clown maybe she can refocus his energy in to telling an approved child friendly joke to his class at the end of each day or even before lunch if he has been behaving.
Ask his teacher if anything has changed since spring break? Did a friend move away? Are some of his old friends no longer playing with him? Is there a new special teacher (art, music, etc)?
I think most of it is probably wanting to get special attention from his teacher or to be noticed by kids in his class. Maybe his class size is to large or he sees kids who don't do as well or who are slower at learning a subject getting much more attention than him.
After having a talk with him where he answers most of the questions make sure you talk to him about your expectations and about how important it is to respect girls. You can even be honest and tell him how upseting it is or how hearing this made you cry.
Also find out if the girl in his class is going through early puberty or is a little overweight and looks like she has breasts. He might just be curious about the changes that occuring with her body. Maybe it is time to discuss a little bit about how girls and boys bodies are different...not necessarily sex ed...but about body parts and outward changes he will see as girls get older.
Sorry so long.
Jen
I would not worry to much though...all kids go through naughty phases...if he didn't and was always an angel I would be more worried.
Answer:
Wow. This IS a toughie. Have there been any major changes in his life? How's his diet?
One thing that is very effective w/my son is when I tell him how disappointed and sad his actions made me. I stress "his actions" and not him. He isn't disappointing me, but his actions are because he can control his actions. He has the power to change them. My son gets obsessive anyway, but he will keep trying to do things to make me happy after that and ask if I'm still upset or disappointed. Better than any punishment I can think up, including taking away his Bionicles, which is a biggie!!
Just letting him know these things got back to you should help him curtail it, and you can ask why he would ask a girl something that should be private. Try to ask him questions to see if something is bothering him, and think up punishment that will occur. My son obsesses if I tell him he will be punished without my telling him what it will be. It's like he wants to do the bad thing again just to see what the punishment will be.
Good luck to you. Can you email the teacher and see if she's noticed any triggers? He seems bored. Maybe you and the teacher can come up with ways for him to funnel this boredom and energy into more appropriate ways - doodling rather than flipping pencils, complimenting little girls on their hair or outfit rather than asking for inappropriate things, etc. Sounds like you have a live wire.