Ask:
How do you handle your ex wanting to have a "relationship" with your current dh??
Am I the only one who deals with this??
My ex would love to go play a round of golf with my dh, for example.
My dh bless his heart, is cordial with my ex, and will do the pleasantries, but that is it....he has no desire to go spend an entire day with him.
This goes for the reverse too....any step-moms out there that have a relationship with your dh's ex??
I am very interested in this response.
Answer:
i wasnt married to my sons father. But he does try to get us to all go do things....like go to a movie or whereever....i think its weird and so does my boyfriend.
Answer:
Funny you should ask that....me and my ex-husbands first ex-wife are best friends know..when I was married me and his ex always got along we felt we had no reason to hate or disrespect each other because we did not do naything to each other and she had two kids with him that i was know gonna help raise so for the kids sake we wanted to co-parent the best we could..we never wanted the children to feel they had to be something different at each others houses or not be able to mention the other parent. I came from a family like this and that was one thing i swore i would not do to those kids...know that im divorced we even get along better and go on trips and so forth together and need i say we have some great stories...people always tell us we belong on springer or the oprah show because this is so out of the norm.
this being said i do not have a relationship with my ex's new girlfriend at all cant stand the ***** she treats my kids rudely and she was the reason for my divorce so I have no means to want to befriend her at all although Im cordial for my kids sake..
I hope this made since....I also love the fact that im still very much involved with my step children even though im no longer married to their father and they still consider me their step mom and that bugs my ex to no end oh well.... I love going places with my step children and their mom and having them tell everyone this is my mom and stepmom it makes me feel so good that I made that kind of great impression in their lives that they are proud to tell everyone that....
Answer:
Neither my husband nor I can stand his ex-w. However, we took pity on her future husbands (yes, that is husband with an 's'.) We found the guys got along better than the females did. I always attributed it to the 'momma bear' tendancy. I was always very protective of my step-kids.
I don't know if we would have ever socialized with them separate from the kids. We were always so busy with the kids that time away from them didn't make sense. You know, when you're a step-family, having your kids home on the weekends is a rare treat. Why would you want to go golfing when they're home?
Answer:
There is no desire from either side to play nice and be friends. It's all we can do to speak to one another about the kids when we have to. My ex's new wife for some reason thinks I dislike her because she "took" him away from me. Whatever, I would have paid her to take him sooner!
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I guess my question would be....why? They seem polar opposites.
Answer:
Originally Posted by desertmom
I guess my question would be....why? They seem polar opposites.
Yes they are opposites. I have no idea why my ex wants to do this....very strange.
And the only reason I brought it up, is because my sister called (yes that is right...she called) and her ex is wanting to do the same thing with her new boyfriend....only he is wanting to take it even one step further and meet her boyfriends ex wife....?????? What is wrong with these men???
If you want my opinion.....I think it helps their self esteem somehow.....like they think they can get someone on their side or something....I know I am not explaining it right....but it is got to be some kinda weird mind game or something..... " hear me out because I know I am right" (them talking)....
I don't know.
Answer:
If I were to divorce I would want to be friends for the kids sake. but I dont know if I could manage it... so many mixed feelings involved.
Answer:
I try to be friendly with DH's ex wife. I wouldn't want to hang out with her, but I would like for things to be friendly for the sake of the kids!
Answer:
I'm personnally not divorced but my aunt and uncle are. They got divorced about 10 years ago, my uncle left her for another woman. At first things were rough and my aunt hated the new girlfriend but for the sake of her children she would be nice and bite her tongue. Well about a year after the divorced their daughter pasted away (she was 8 and they had a 3 dd too.) When she pasted away everything changed. They didn't want to have this negative family for their daughter. They wanted her to feel safe and loved with a big happy family. Now my uncle has another child with his new wife and my aunt is getting ready to get married again. and they do everything together they are best friends. They have every holiday together, open christmas gifts on christmas morning together, vacations, weekends, dinner everything. It is out of the norm but it is great. The kids are both so happy and it doesn't put my little cousin in the middle. If anything ever happen between my dh and I, I would want it to be this way. It truly make this so much easier