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I need some opinions here!
I have been around DSS since he was very young. He is 6 now. He plays baseball (i have posted about going to his games and such) I did not go to the first few games to avoid stepping on his moms toes. I just want things to go smoothly. He continually asked me to come to his games. So last weekend was our weekend with him and he had a game saturday morning. (We haven't been able to get him because DH was on orders for awhile and out of town) So we get everyone up and dressed and DSS comes in and asks DH if I am going to his game this time. DH tells him yes and he wrinkles his nose and says "i just wanted you and penny and aj to come, I already have a mom." DH says ok and tells me maybe next time. I am not offended, he does indeed have a mommy, but this came out of nowhere, before this he was always wanting me to come to his events. So, I plan on going to the store while they are at the game. Well DD heard the entire thing and tells her brother "well if you don't want my mommy to go, I don't wnat to go to your game either" and runs out crying. I talk to DD and she insists on staying with me, sending DSS into a crying fit. It was a nightmare. So the boys go to the game and DD and I go to the store. So when we all see each other that afternoon DD is still mad at DSS and they don't play all afternoon. By the end of the day everything is pretty much back to normal and DSS is rubbing my belly talking to the baby and saying that he can't wait to come and spend two weeks with me (DH will be at work during the day, so I am with the kiddos). He is sitting in my lap and saying that he loves me and can't wait for vacation and such.
THis has been our first incident that the kids have been involved in. Is this normal??? Or just a one time kinda thing.
Answer:
He was probably just testing the waters. Next time tell him how much you love him and how you would be disappointed to miss his game, show or whatever. He might also be a little nervous about the baby taking his place.
Jen
Answer:
sounds to me like someone ( mommy ) has been telling him things. I am not saying that they have done it to be mean but maybe just saying things like " I am your only mommy or " shes not your mommy I am " and maybe he feels like that is what he is suppose to do to protect his mom. I would just sit him and your dd down and explain that you are not his mommy but that you love him and that you will now be a part of his life and that you will now do things as a family. but that you want him to understand that you are not trying to replace anyone. I would be matter of fact and not leave it up to an argument. I also think that you should explain to dd that you love her and her step brother and that she shouldnt feel bad that he said that, explain to her that things are hard for him and he was just being protective and that you understand. I also think that your hubby should stand up for you and say the same things. It should be a united front. Good luck and it sounds like you are already handling things well.
Answer:
While reading that, that is the first thing that I thought. Was that his mom was telling him things. Maybe not to be intentially mean, but sayings things like I am your mommy.
Maybe she has a hard time with him having another mother figure in his life.
I would like to say that this would never bother me and the more people that love our daughters the better, in I think that I would have a really hard time accepting the fact that somebody else is "mothering" my children. Let's just hope that it never comes to that.
I think that you are handling it well though. And nothing ever hurt the boys going to the game and the girls going shopping.